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Why Russians do not smile (2002)

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Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#441

Post by fegu »

andreskytt wrote: post #256

Estonian here. At Skype (10+ years ago) I observed, that members of large cultures (American, British, Hindu etc.) had real trouble adjusting to the predominantly Estonian-based engineering culture. Probably because they had never had to adjust, commonly people adjust to _their_ culture as it tends to dominate large organizations. But once they did make an honest attempt, that was always most welcomed and gained them…

- A US lady came to hr complaining about an Ukrainian dev approaching them inappropriately during a party.

What was the inappropriate part? Seems useful to know.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#442

Post by Clubber »

Mediterraneo10 wrote: post #59
Clubber wrote: post #38

In the US smiling wasn't as prevalent, at least in photographs. Look at any Civil War era picture and nobody is smiling in their portraits. I'm not sure when that started. I read somewhere that back then people thought people who smiled all the time were "simple minded." Now I can't help thinking that every time I see some marketing copy with some model smiling while playing with soap or something.

The reason for the severe facial expressions and the lack of smiles in 19th-century photographs was the extremely long exposure times that the technology required back then. It was hard to hold a smile still enough that the film could capture it without blur. You can't assume from those portraits that people rarely smiled compared to now.

>The reason for the severe facial expressions and the lack of smiles in 19th-century photographs was the extremely long exposure times that the technology required back then.

That's one theory, another one I've seen is people had bad teeth, but everyone had bad teeth so I don't see how that would be an issue. I like the theory that they thought constant smiling was for simpletons.

https://history.nebraska.gov/blog/why-so-serious-3-reasons-w...

>You can't assume from those portraits that people rarely smiled compared to now.

Where did I say that?

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#443

Post by wellthisisgreat »

daxfohl wrote: post #178

Another thing I've noticed uniquely with some Russian colleagues, and I've never quite known the meaning of, but I assume is Russian cultural attribute, is silence. A few times I've e.g. been explaining something to a Russian colleague, I'll go on and on, and when I'm done ... nothing. This always gets me anxious. What does it mean? Does the person think it's the dumbest thing he's ever heard? Did the person not unde…

Americans (assuming you are an American) are used to people confirming that they are paying attention throughout the conversation (“Mhm”, “yes”, “I see”, etc.). Russians don’t do that. If they don’t have anything to add, they won’t, unless prompted.

You can just ask if they understood you, agree or disagree. It’s not super common to act like you described, but common enough to be a cultural thing.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#444

Post by grep_name »

geocrasher wrote: post #257
sunshineforever wrote: post #238

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have a difficult life and I'm growing very tired of this question. I've even had to ask some of my neighbors not to greet me that way.

Indeed. People do not realize how destructive it is. The other one that really irks me is "let me know if you need anything!" 1) You are putting it on me to tell you that I need something, right in the middle of my need. 2) If you're my real friend you don't need to say that, I already know I can call you 24/7/365 3) Your willingness to help is nulled by your lack of initiative. The best thing anyone ever did was cal…

Different strokes. I just told a friend that they should let me know if there's anything I can do to help, which I've never done before (for this friend). His mother is having surgery this week. I've known this person my whole life and he's a lot like me, so I know that taking your advice wouldn't be the right path for this.

I would like to be told by a friend that they care about me and would like to help in some way if they can. What I wouldn't like is if they said "OK, I'm going to choose a thing that I think I would want in your situation and do it for you, and you have no choice because I'm going to do it anyway." Chances are, what you thought was helpful is NOT what I need in a difficult moment and I don't want to be subjected to another person's choices being superimposed on my situation. Lucky for me I know that my friend feels the same way, and we have different ways of approaching these things with each other because of it.

"I'm at Costco. What do you need? And don't say 'nothing'. I'm going to bring you something, and that's that" seems incredibly aggressive to me, and if I had many friends who behaved that way I would be endlessly frustrated.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#445

Post by YeGoblynQueenne »

elros wrote: post #432
YeGoblynQueenne wrote: post #420

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>> "你吃了吗?" I was told by a Chinese colleague that this is a very informal greeting, strictly between friends - pals, rather. I didn't ask, at the time, because I was more preoccupied with trying to pronounce it (my colleague was very helpful). But I would like to know the context behind this. I mean, what is it in asking about having eaten that signifies a greeting? In Greek, for instance, we say "yia sou" ("γειά σου…

> In Greek, for instance, we say "yia sou" ("γειά σου"), for "hello". It means, basically, "have health". (...) I don't get the "have you eaten" greeting and I'm very very curious. If you eat well, you'll grow healthy, if you eat poorly, you'll grow unhealthy. They stem from the same principles :-)

Thanks. But, it's asked as a question, no? So, is it like an expression of concern, as if I asked "are you healthy"?

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#446

Post by danbmil99 »

hellbannedguy wrote: post #210
danbmil99 wrote: post #177

There's actually a regional difference. Growing up on the east coast in New York people rarely smiled at each other on the street. Someone you didn't know smiling at you could mean a crazy person, or some sort of con artist trying to suck you into interacting with them. Living on the west coast for the last twenty years, the situation is totally different. On a bike trail, on the sidewalk, people often smile and nod…

Yea, I noticed east/west coast friendships are different too. Friendships are a bit stronger on the east coast. At least from my perspective in California.

Yes I can go on about that too. Friendships are harder to form but last longer and seem deeper on the East Coast. Here on the West Coast, you frequently have relationships and appear to be deep friendships and then you just drift apart and never connect again.

It's sort of like the smiling thing at a mega scale.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#447

Post by drunkpotato »

Gene_Parmesan wrote: post #325
Merem wrote: post #309

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"After all, how could I genuinely wish a random German stranger a "Guten Morgen"..." By being a nice person, just like how one would hold open a door for someone else? Though, that aside, when you say "Guten Morgen", you aren't wishing anything. It's just being polite while at the same time, you are saying something about yourself. For example, you could simply say "Morgen" which would mean you are in a hurry, or, de…

This is exactly how "How are you?" is meant in American culture. It's not fake; greetings are culturally determined and especially the most common greeting phrases in any culture should not be treated literally but instead as part of a ritual exchange. "How are you?" "I'm well, and you?" "Great, thanks." It's just a ritualistic exchange.

It’s also not universally American. One of the adjustments I had to make in Boston is “how you doin’?” being the start of a leisurely conversation instead of a quick pleasantry.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#448

Post by dagmx »

kesava wrote: post #439
andreskytt wrote: post #256

Estonian here. At Skype (10+ years ago) I observed, that members of large cultures (American, British, Hindu etc.) had real trouble adjusting to the predominantly Estonian-based engineering culture. Probably because they had never had to adjust, commonly people adjust to _their_ culture as it tends to dominate large organizations. But once they did make an honest attempt, that was always most welcomed and gained them…

Wtf is a "Hindu" pm?

I notice that, especially in some European countries, people conflate Hindu - Hindi - Indian.

I'm assuming it's some quirk of local language to English translations in addition to the conflating above.

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#449

Post by [deleted] »

kesava wrote: post #439
andreskytt wrote: post #256

Estonian here. At Skype (10+ years ago) I observed, that members of large cultures (American, British, Hindu etc.) had real trouble adjusting to the predominantly Estonian-based engineering culture. Probably because they had never had to adjust, commonly people adjust to _their_ culture as it tends to dominate large organizations. But once they did make an honest attempt, that was always most welcomed and gained them…

Wtf is a "Hindu" pm?

[deleted]

Re: Why Russians do not smile (2002)

#450

Post by brabel »

matheusmoreira wrote: post #418
brabel wrote: post #317

Earlier quoted context omitted.

On my travels, I have met several people who, after living in Brazil for only a few months, learned to speak Portuguese fluently. This always impressed me hugely, because English speakers normally have a really hard time learning a language that has "gendered" nouns and inflected articles/adjectives/pronouns, for example... but many of them seem to do just fine! But I met enough of them to now think Portuguese must b…

Where were the people you met from? In my city there's a lot of japanese people, they helped create a thriving steel industry here many decades ago. Many of them learned some portuguese, they could communicate but not fluently. Gendered words in particular seemed to be particularly difficult. The russian I met on the other hand spoke it fluently, maybe even better than native speakers.

Hard to remember them all :) but two were Australians who spent a few months backpacking in Brazil... one was a German girl who just blew my mind how well she could speak Portuguese. Another was a Swedish man who just casually started helping a group of Brazilians, in Portuguese, to order something in a restaurant... I think there were many other cases over the years but it's not like a keep track of them all, so I can't give more examples that I remember for sure... but enough, as I said, to convince me that it's not very rare.
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