How can an introvert Asian engineer like me make friends?

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Why do you need my contact info? I don't really care about keeping it private, I just never posted it.

edit: I just checked. My email has always been in my profile....

  > That's actually not true. It's actually a skill and
  > some of these guys, including me, have spent years
  > going out twice a week, 5 days a week, to acquire 
  > this skill.

I'm kind of in the middle. I was an awkward kid but I worked hard at figuring out how to socialize over the years and now it actually comes pretty naturally to me. (Not that I'm a master charmer today or anything!)

But I respect that this skill is something that a lot of people struggle at. And I think that getting people started on the right path might be simpler than other people think - some people benefit from having allegedly "intuitive" concepts spelled out to them, such as "a good conversationalist will ask questions about the other person."

  > I have a hell of a time explaining this to my more extraverted 
  > friends -- many of whom "don't see it," because I'm not 
  > particularly shy or reserved in social settings. [...] 
  > because people don't "buy" my introversion. They just think 
  > I'm avoiding them.)

I feel you.

I had the same problem with introversion. And people are often surprised because I seem very outgoing. I followed a very clear path to get to where I am and it's outlined below. There are some very simple things you can do right now to make progress. I felt like I had to change my entire wardrobe, personality, and gain muscle. None of this was necessary and just lowered my self esteem.

First, find a pickup group. Just google around or contact me. Then go out with that group and try the following things in order. Do each one several times. If one of them is too easy then just skip it. I had to start at the very bottom. It was that bad for me, but pickup helped me be social and outgoing naturally, so it's not just about women.

1. Go to a supermarket or a mall and just ask questions from a female cashier. Say you're getting a gift for a female friend. Say you don't like her, but she likes you. This is super fun. 2. Go up to 10 random people in a supermarket or wherever and give them a compliment on something. I felt really good after doing this. It taught me that communication that isn't technically productive can bring people a lot of joy. 3. Get used to approaching women -- any women at all. Go into a mall or any place with lots of people and approach the first 3 women you see. They don't have to be pretty; you don't have to like them. They can be old or young. It's important that you do not discriminate. It helps build a reflex to approach women, and prevents you from having to decide who to approach and who to avoid. This one thing has helped me more than I can tell you. 4. Once you're somewhat comfortable approaching women, then just see how long you can stay in the conversation. 5. Then near the middle of each conversation ask for the woman's phone number. 6. Then get used to asking women to go on a date with you, even if you're not interested.

All of the above is practice and necessary. Then when you meet a girl you really like while going out then you will know what to do. I glossed over a lot of details, but I'm sure you can do this.

Your pickup group can become your first group of friends. It's a little weird at first, but many of them are still my friends. You can tell them things that are too intimate to discuss with even a girlfriend. My group helped me a lot. And you need that positivity because hitting on girls is hard. You'll get rejected a lot. But that negative feedback will tell you exactly what you need to improve.

Women's minds are hardwired to be attracted to men who are socially intelligent. By practicing pickup you will naturally become socially intelligent. This social intelligence has helped me get more friends, land more interviews, negotiate, and even helped me get into events for free.

Pickup is not for the faint of heart, but I'd still be lost without it. I say it's worth a shot.

Contact me naivegenius@gmail.com

I will do my best to help you.