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I deleted my social media accounts

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Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#431

Post by watwut »

prmoustache wrote: post #420
watwut wrote: post #374

Earlier quoted context omitted.

People you met and appreciated in the past evolve into friends and friends evolve into people you met and appreciated in the past. Each person can change "the status" multiple times, depending on circumstances. However, if you decide that weaker relationships dont matter, they will never grow into friendships. They will die out. And to large extend that is what is happening with "loneliness epidemics". We dont care t…

> People you met and appreciated in the past evolve into friends and friends evolve into people you met and appreciated in the past. Each person can change "the status" multiple times, depending on circumstances. Agree with that. > However, if you decide that weaker relationships dont matter, they will never grow into friendships. They will die out. I don't think putting thumbs up on social media posts count as "grow…

> I don't think putting thumbs up on social media posts count as "growing into friendship".

The interactions I have seen on social media did not consisted from thumbs up only.

> If you get out of social medias you actually realize your only chance to make relationships is by going outside and meet people that are close to you.

What actually happen to most people is that they stop showing up in meetups organized through social media (majority of them) and over time loose those relationships. From what I have seen, removing yourself from social media does not create new relationships for most people.

You do not build relationships by NOT being somewhere.

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#432

Post by phkahler »

>> The number of times I reflexively typed "t" or "f" into my browser bar (which autocompletes to twitter.com or facebook.com) was honestly terrifying.

I reflexively type "news" into the browser. It may not be quite as bad as FB or X, but I should probably stop.

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#433

Post by 0xEF »

Mashimo wrote: post #368
0xEF wrote: post #362

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Most of us would not have even done that, though yes, the option was there, but that sort of thing was much more popular 40+ years ago. There was another discussion where this came up on HN recently, but people get quite emotionally defensive when you start scrutinizing their reasons for staying on social media, so it is hard to have an honest conversation about it without a bunch of hyperbolic takes. In my experienc…

> but it was a laughable effort by today's standards of maximum self-aggrandizing and competitive social engagement. What does this mean? > The idea that we need to be sharing every aspect of our personal narrative with the world is problematic I know about one or two people who does this. And it's far away from an obituary. I'm not quite sure I get what you a saying. I just meant in my upbringing it was quite normal…

> What does this mean?

Apologies if my wording was too vague. I am using 'Self-aggrandizing' to mean a high exhibition of self-importance, or to put it another way, advertising one's self in a way that makes minor events or details seem bigger than they are. I am using 'competitive social engagement' as an alternative phrase to "Keeping up with the Joneses" which illustrates comparing yourself to your neighbors in terms of status, wealth, moral fiber, etc.

The invention of Social Media propelled us into extreme versions of these two very-human aspects of our psychology, which I believe to be both dangerous and ill-fated.

My intention was not to attack in any way, I just thought your reference to obituaries was an interesting link to our past prior to social media that was worth exploring and comparing. In a way, we can think of our Facebook profile as an extended obituary since that data is all accessible after we die. In fact, I am experiencing this on Instagram, having just lost a friend on New Year's Day and sitting down to peruse his old Instagram posts for the happy memories therein. Your comment just got me thinking, so I decided to expound on it.

added: I should maybe clarify that I'm of an age that remembers what the world was like before Social Media and the Internet as we know it today. The differences when I compare those two halves of my life tend to be alarmingly drastic, which is something that warrants examination, to me, since many HN readers might be a bit too young to remember, so from their perspective, Social Media habits are likely more normalized.

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#434

Post by graemep »

TheSpiceIsLife wrote: post #384
graemep wrote: post #367

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> 20+ years ago when my family visited relatives abroad, our relatives would get to the airport and often have to wait for our delayed flight because they had no way of knowing Apart from phoning the airline or airport and checking whether the flight was on time. We used to do that all the time 30+ years ago. 20 years ago you could check on websites IIRC.

Back in my day, we had to walk fifty miles in the snow, up hill both ways, and we couldn’t afford shoes, just to phone the airline. Back when men were real men, women were real women, and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.

and you tell young people of today that and they just won't believe you.

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#435

Post by manaut »

You can always choose to unfollow people if their perspectives don’t resonate with you—you don’t have to leave social media entirely for that. By curating your feed, you can focus on content you enjoy, which naturally creates a personal thought bubble. When censorship comes into play, that thought bubble is shaped for you, removing the need to manage it yourself.

It’s worth reflecting on what democracy means in this context. For me, it means being willing to tolerate other thought bubbles, even when it’s challenging. This openness is preferable to having our thoughts policed. In an ideal world, thought bubbles would be more permeable, fostering trust and understanding between people with differing perspectives. That trust can’t grow if we only defend our own bubble. Overcoming the divide is crucial if we want democracy to thrive (or not die).

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#436

Post by disco_tech »

junto wrote: post #263
xyzzy4747 wrote: post #123

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>accuse people of being mentally ill based on their sexuality or gender identity But the question is, are trans people actually mentally ill objectively? It certainly doesn't help them reproduce (a form of survival) from a biological perspective, for example. This Johns Hopkins professor thinks it's mental illness: https://www.boarddocs.com/vsba/scpsva/Board.nsf/files/B8UR4X...

It’s nuanced. Something that appears to have been lost during the last years of trans hate. > Like all DSM illnesses, one key component of depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, all of that, is that you have to be functionally impaired by it, otherwise it doesn’t count as a diagnosis https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2023/07/19/health/is-gender-dysphori... Many trans people fought to keep it in the DSM for the simple reason that…

> What makes many trans people unhappy is society’s persistent persecution of them in politics and media.

Then maybe they should have thought of that before advocating for males to invade women's spaces and for children to be medically harmed.

This so-called "persecution" is happening because boundaries need to be asserted. They abused the kindness and tolerance of others, and are now seeing the effects of this.

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#437

Post by Semaphor »

pickledoyster wrote: post #425
Semaphor wrote: post #248

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I only follow stuff I want to see. But facebook shows me a ton of other things. Reels every few posts are usually sexily dressed Asian women, or more normally dressed White women, with some kind of clickbait text overlaid. I think I maybe clicked on a reel once or twice ever. Then my feed is full of suggested content. Which I also don’t want to see. From metal bands I don’t care about and festivals I don’t wanna go t…

>And finally: Ordering. Non-chronological ordering makes no sense, because everything is random (probably not, somehow maximizes engagement for users very different from me, I guess). So I can’t even scroll for the stuff I want to see. Does https://www.facebook.com/?sk=h_chr not work anymore? It should surface the chronological feed without reels and other recommended slop.

I love you!

This does exactly what I want! It makes FB usable again!

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#438

Post by aembleton »

prmoustache wrote: post #420
watwut wrote: post #374

Earlier quoted context omitted.

People you met and appreciated in the past evolve into friends and friends evolve into people you met and appreciated in the past. Each person can change "the status" multiple times, depending on circumstances. However, if you decide that weaker relationships dont matter, they will never grow into friendships. They will die out. And to large extend that is what is happening with "loneliness epidemics". We dont care t…

> People you met and appreciated in the past evolve into friends and friends evolve into people you met and appreciated in the past. Each person can change "the status" multiple times, depending on circumstances. Agree with that. > However, if you decide that weaker relationships dont matter, they will never grow into friendships. They will die out. I don't think putting thumbs up on social media posts count as "grow…

> I don't think putting thumbs up on social media posts count as "growing into friendship".

Unless it was for an invitation to a board game evening and dinner at a friend's house. That would help to grow the friendship.

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#439

Post by amelius »

bflesch wrote: post #2

I wouldn't delete social media accounts because they might become available to register for malicious actors who can then impersonate you. Keep the accounts, just don't use them any more.

Also:

TSA officer: "please log in to your social media account"

You: "I have no social media"

TSA officer: "step out of the line please"

Re: I deleted my social media accounts

#440

Post by aembleton »

Semaphor wrote: post #224
nindalf wrote: post #38

This advice to quit social media is always a hit on HN. When I was 10 years younger I read the same thing on HN, was thoroughly convinced and quit social media. I even followed the advice of trying to stay in touch by email. Sure. Turns out that a lot of people I knew posted huge life updates that I completely missed out on. I asked them why they didn’t tell me and they were confused. They said the posted it on socia…

> Turns out that a lot of people I knew posted huge life updates that I completely missed out on. I wish I would still see those. While I have an account, I rarely use FB nowadays, because the algorithm thinks I’ll be more interested in stuff I don’t care about. So when I go to FB I tend to close the tab again a few seconds later…

I found that this plugin really helped: https://www.fbpurity.com/
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