The book "The Midnight Library" by Matt Haig does a good job easing that "what if" regret. It shows how each "ideal/better" life can come with its own major negative consequences.
What If You Could Do It All Over?
431–440 of 460 posts
Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?
#432The book "The Midnight Library" by Matt Haig does a good job easing that "what if" regret. It shows how each "ideal/better" life can come with its own major negative consequences.
Came here to say that, I just finished it a couple of hours ago. It's very bitter sweet, but I'm very glad I read it.
Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?
#433Earlier quoted context omitted.
Have you considered applying Hanlon's Razor to the question? In my experience, most people (i.e. sans pathologies) ask this question because they are ignorant and curious. They are trying to integrate the unknown (you and your craft) into the known, not trying to challenge your ego. --- A story that might be illustrative. A close relative of mine came to his current country from another country, but is a citizen of h…
I guess I lived too long to give people that kind of benefit of doubt (wasn’t born yesterday, I suppose). I know the system that built many of us.
This is something I think we can all relate to.
I think it’s what afflicted my relative, too, for what it’s worth. When you’re stung by people, it’s hard to see the value in continuing to remain open.
Regarding the accrual of knowledge and its hardening effects on the soul:
> with much wisdom comes much sorrow; the more knowledge, the more grief.
> The wise have eyes in their heads, while the fool walks in the darkness; but the same fate overtakes them both.
These quotes come from Ecclesiastes, which does not contain a much of a resolution.
> A person can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in their own toil.
Tao Te Ching makes a similar recommendation: empty hearts and fill bellies. In short, worry less of ideas, and more of literal substances that bind us together (food, drink, and toil).
Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?
#434Earlier quoted context omitted.
>What I don't like about this quote is that it pretends you just have to choose between all these attractive and worthwhile goals and that the choosing is the difficult part. For sure, however it is better to have tried and experienced than not have. I have tried and failed at picking many of those figs, and it is worth it, the good and bad. Don't stand there, give yourself a time, and then chose freely.
Not always, be too scattered and you’ll fail at everything where you might’ve succeeded trying persistently with one
for sure, depending what is important to each person. Success is a subjective. Maybe some live for exploration, and some for execution... It really just comes down to fulling what make sense for oneself. ;-)
Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?
#435Earlier quoted context omitted.
46 year old here. Wave I remember feeling like I'd wasted so much time and was irreversibly behind in my twenties. Like, it was all decided. There are so so many figs left. Many many chances ahead of you! That said, time is ticking and while it isn't too late, now is the best time to start!
> I remember feeling like I'd wasted so much time and was irreversibly behind in my twenties. To be honest I've felt like this since I was 18 and it never went away. What made you realize this wasn't the case?
I suppose the feeling itself came from comparing myself to others (which is natural), and it was having some success in some field relative to others that gave me the feeling like I could succeed, I wasn't behind everyone in everything, forever. I guess for the mental health aspect of this, it's probably good to pick something you are good at, better than others, and actively appreciate it. It's not good to feel completely behind in all things. Good luck! :)
Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?
#436Earlier quoted context omitted.
In my mental model it's implied, since people are the image of God and so being humble towards them is being humble towards God (and I'm not sure there's a context where humility exists independently of other people).
For a different perspective. Humility is also useful when alone. I think X is true but let me double check can easily save your life irrespective of a belief in god or the presence of other people. Using a checklist before flying for example is an important recognition of your imperfection. Measure twice cut once is again the same idea.
Yes, something along this line occurred to me after posting, but I'd agree with you. Integrity is also arguably a case where humility can come into play even when people don't notice.
Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?
#437Earlier quoted context omitted.
Funny, I'd think the other way. Everything I know about these guys is they constantly want an alternate life - and they work to make it happen. They both could have "stopped" decades ago and have achieved more than 99.999999% of people who ever lived, but instead they are pushing against something different continuously.
Do they want an alternative self or an alternative world?
What's the difference? :)
Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?
#438Earlier quoted context omitted.
Keep CGK, Insert SIN, replace NRT with TPE, JFK with YYZ, then add CGK again after that. That is my life :-) Nice to meet you, Chris. We are in similar journey. Maybe I will add another destination after this, see how life goes. Brabel, I moved back to home country and brought my wife. That can also be a solution for you.
Wow, a fellow traveler on this many road. Greetings! Ahh, one day I will. Today I still can't afford it. My family's side, parent, grandparent, etc messed up a lot financially and lost everything. I can't afford to go back right now or even move to Japan, my current salary is a reserve for in case anything goes wrong with them.
Cool, keep your fingers crossed! :-)
Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?
#439It’s worth thinking about how we measure how “good” a life is and if that is superficial and too much influenced by fashion. For example the cliche is go travelling or get rich starting a business. “I raised kids” doesn’t have the same boastworthyness in a lot of circles, but arguably it’s more interesting. Or maybe not. What’s the life well lived metric?
> “I raised kids” doesn’t have the same boastworthyness in a lot of circles, but arguably it’s more interesting.
But it doesn’t make you happier: https://youtu.be/2EiV4-ClcIs?t=2180
Re: What If You Could Do It All Over?
#440Earlier quoted context omitted.
45, same story. It’s never too late.
It is never too late, but do not let that be an excuse to delay any decision. 42 here, already two major career changes. And I am glad I made both changes.
> It is never too late, but do not let that be an excuse to delay any decision.
Beautiful, this is the explanation I was looking for because whenever I'd hear that "it's never too late," I just felt like that enabled procrastination, but your explanation solidified that life is not long, but rather it is short indeed. It's true that it's not too late for many of your future opportunities, but eventually, time will run out.