This might be super basic, but... assume positive intent. Your parent is not your enemy. Your teacher is not your enemy. Your boss is not your enemy. The other team at work is not your enemy. The corporation is not your enemy. The other political party is not your enemy. Or, more accurately, YOU are not THEIR enemy. At best, you're an NPC in their game. Many of them probably even want to help you, because you are ano…
Assume good intent until proven otherwise . Because there are plenty of people who'll repeatedly treat you like shit, and then continue to demand you assume good intent. To which I say, pardon my french, fuck that noise. People are entitled to the benefit of doubt only as long as there can be doubt. Once that is gone, act accordingly.
Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life
431–440 of 839 posts
Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life
#432A decade of success against steep odds later, I ran into the high school teacher who I idolized and who helped me actually achieve something. Most teachers tolerated me or insulated the rest of the classroom from me. But he put in the effort to get me engaged with something that got me to sit down and try. I was excited to show him what his work had helped me accomplish. He had two things to share with me: 1. He does…
Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life
#433Without actively seeking it, I happened to stumble on this idea about 8 years ago, at a time when I was struggling with some pretty big problems in my relationships, career and physical+mental health.
Since then, I've been living "as-if" the biggest factors that influence my reactions, choices and outcomes are in my subconscious, and that by continually undertaking practices that identify and resolve subconscious fears, biases, resentments, attachments, etc, I can keep my life on a steady path of improvement.
Over 8 years on, so far so good.
It also helps me to be more understanding and patient with others, when I can remind myself that this applies in different ways to all of us, and that everyone is doing the best they can in the moment.
Related: the idea of living "as-if" something is true, even if it isn't true yet, or it's unknown (but testable) whether it's true or not.
I.e., building a business for market conditions or technologies that don't exist yet but are reasonably likely to within a reasonable timeframe, and/or that may be more likely to come to exist through your work.
Or thinking/operating in a way that may not be consistent with existing laws/norms/established science, but in doing so you help to change said laws/norms or make new scientific discoveries.
Obviously, considerable risk management is necessary with this approach.
Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life
#434The Growth Mindset. To briefly sum up the findings: Individuals who believe their talents can be developed (through hard work, good strategies, and input from others) have a growth mindset. They tend to achieve more than those with a more fixed mindset (those who believe their talents are innate gifts). This is because they worry less about looking smart and they put more energy into learning. Along with this goes em…
On my Twitter bio, I labeled myself an infosec noob. I've been doing it for 4 years now, but I'm definitely still a noob. And I will always be a noob. When I stop calling myself a noob, I stop learning.
Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life
#435Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life
#436This might be super basic, but... assume positive intent. Your parent is not your enemy. Your teacher is not your enemy. Your boss is not your enemy. The other team at work is not your enemy. The corporation is not your enemy. The other political party is not your enemy. Or, more accurately, YOU are not THEIR enemy. At best, you're an NPC in their game. Many of them probably even want to help you, because you are ano…
Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life
#437I am going to cheat a bit and give you three things that have had a lasting impact on me: First is this quote from Lincoln, "I hate that man. I must get to know him better". This has helped me shed biases and prejudices that stop me from liking someone on the first few interactions. Instead of shunning them, I seek to know them better, in the hope that I see past the veil and reach out to the actual human on the othe…
Thank you for that Lincoln quote. I went to a very diverse University (Upstream, Red Team) and one of the hunches I've walked away with is that at the core of prejudice is a missing friend on the other side.
Forgive my ignorance, what does this mean in this context?
Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life
#438The idea that your mind is not you . That "thinking", as a process, is just a tool of your body, just like eyesight, for example. Listening to meditation and mindfulness practitioners like Jon Kobat-Zinn and Eckhart Tolle, I found it absolutely groundbreaking, for myself, to realize that the mind is an instrument that needs training and tuning, and sometimes can lead you astray, and can't be trusted unconditionally.…
I have an exercise I like to do when I experience pain, which is to tell myself that this sensation I'm experiencing is just a signal in some nerve. It does not actually hurt me in any way. Interestingly, this usually makes the pain a lot more bearable.
Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life
#439Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot o…
"Dude, sucking at something is the first step towards being sorta good at something." -- Jake the Dog
If it does for you too - I could not more highly recommend Pendleton Ward's latest project The Midnight Gospel.
"How did you almost know my name?"
"I have approximate knowledge of many things, child..."
Re: Ask HN: Name one idea that changed your life
#440The OODA Loop [1] Air Force Colonel John Boyd came up with the OODA loop as a simplified way to explain a very complex system of observability and feedback that he developed. I read about this in the early 2000s and ever since I've been totally obsessed with the concept of learning, iteration and optimization - and it's the prime mover in my research and work motivations to this day. There are many parallel theories…