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STFU

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Re: STFU

#421

Post by reincarnate0x14 »

acomjean wrote: post #413
inlined wrote: post #405

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There was a coffee shop ages ago in SF that would every few hours play a cacophony (e.g. multiple songs at once). I assume it was to drive away people camping on their laptops to rotate tables. Understand but super annoying to people like me who had a timer to but food or drink no less than hourly to be a good citizen

We had a friend who would play Metal when the ice cream store he worked at was closed but the customers were lingering too long. It generally worked, as he was immune.

I introduced my local restaurant owner to Mongolian Techno and the late night bar flies and some of the kitchen staff have never forgiven me. He won't admit if he plays it for himself, or because of them :)

Re: STFU

#422

Post by throwaway150 »

user- wrote: post #35
connorgurney wrote: post #31

I might be in a minority saying this - and particularly so here on HN - but I struggle to understand why you'd be willing to use a tool like this, as OP did, but not to politely ask someone to keep it down?

I mean, he took a picture of the guy posted it on his twitter calling him a 'fat uncle'. I don't think he cares about being polite.

You have to understand though that this is X (rip twitter) we are talking about and from the verified account, the 14k follower count, it is evident that this person either is or is trying to be a tech "influencer". Posting controversial rage-baits is pretty much the pattern every influencer follows today to stir up discussion, increase their visibility, and get more followers.

> I don't think he cares about being polite.

If you're polite, debate civilly, say reasonable things and act like a normal person, you are a nobody on X. Nobody will see your tweet. Nobody will engage with it. You might as well have not said anything.

Re: STFU

#423

Post by echelon_musk »

Spooky23 wrote: post #302
xattt wrote: post #174

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How do you deal with the small possibility that the offending person is unhinged (since they’ve already chosen to throw out societal mores out the window) and could physically hurt you?

It’s a two-way street. I used to have to deal with unhinged people on the regular and one of the techniques that keep the peace and stay safe is to present an edge that gives the vibe that you may be more unhinged. My dad used to run housing projects, and my uncle was an assistant principal at one of the most violent schools in New York City. They were like Jedi masters of presence. They had stories that were absolut…

> They had stories that were absolutely insane.

Don't leave us hanging.

Re: STFU

#424

Post by pvtmert »

tra3 wrote: post #28

In the style of cheap tiktoks: "There are two types of people...". My wife loves listening to her phone on max volume, but it sounds so bad compared to half decent speakers. Also what's up with the people hiking (by themselves) with a bluetooth speaker. You're by yourself, in nature. If you want to listen to music wear headphones!! Also why are people using speaker phones in public places at max volume. The speaker i…

there are many sibling/child comments here touching the bluetooth speaker topic.

obviously there are numerous people blasting those in public places in waay too high volume.

sometimes when I ride bicycle in non-car road (cycle/hiking paths around luxembourg) i put not-too-loud music playing on phone speaker (about 70% volume) both for vibes and also for safety. -- as there are people walking which may be obstructed by the bushes or other oncoming cyclists.

for the vibes part, i am really hoping smart-glasses or similar equipment to be more common, as i got echo frames last year, i am quite happy about the vibe it adds when i play background music (just to myself) in different occasions. (even though quality is not great)

many people mentioned headphones & earbuds, but i do not see them as the solution for nature/hiking related situations;

- (partial) blocking of external sounds, even if there is no noise cancellation, it dims outside sounds like bike bells, engine sounds, other people yelling at you because you are in danger, ie. may cause accidents

- comfort & compatibility issues with other equipment. like hearing aid (maybe that's the reason some people blasting away such high volumes? -- maybe never hearing loss haven't diagnosed properly!). if you have a helmet, over-head headphones usually dont work, stuck with ear-buds. fit and comfort of these are quite difficult. even if you use over-head ones, cushions usually go bad quite fast due to mild sweating or contact with external air & humidity.

i really hope price of bluetooth-speaker or bone-speaker glasses will go down significantly in the future. this way, you don't obstruct external sounds, not add heavy or squishy things to your ear while adding your theme song on a moment.

---

obviously i mention these as a reasonable human being, who keeps their phone in silent 7/24, and all videos muted all the time (i also mute my laptop, as i hate hearing other people's zoom/chime calls constantly ringing throughout the day!)

Re: STFU

#425

Post by tkel »

nozzlegear wrote: post #124
connorgurney wrote: post #31

I might be in a minority saying this - and particularly so here on HN - but I struggle to understand why you'd be willing to use a tool like this, as OP did, but not to politely ask someone to keep it down?

My wife and I were sitting in the coffee shop/dining area of our grocery store not long ago, eating breakfast before we bought our groceries. There's a gentleman who's usually there on the same weekend days that we are, and he watches videos on his phone very loudly. It was clearly annoying everyone around, but this being Minnesota, nobody was going to bother him about it (instead they just do little glances over the…

Thanks for sharing your story about how simple normal requests lead to simple normal social outcomes.

The isolation and atomization of modern individualized living has led people to be so controlled by their anti-social anxieties, fear, and loathing of other people, that they and OP won't even try.

Re: STFU

#426

Post by cons0le »

mrexroad wrote: post #335
anigbrowl wrote: post #233

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Maybe go without headphones and pay attention to your surroundings instead. I have zero patience for such excuses from people who choose to impose their preferences on other people.

> Maybe go without headphones and pay attention to your surroundings instead. This. Even when you are seemingly quiet on a trail, 90% of wildlife are hiding from you. It’s amazing what happens when you stop and sit in complete silence for 5-10 minutes — a whole hidden world comes alive around you. 10/10, highly recommend. > I have zero patience for such excuses from people who choose to impose their preferences on ot…

To play devils advocate, telling other people to turn off thier music is also "imposing preferences on other people".

I do agree with what they're saying though.

Re: STFU

#427

Post by kstrauser »

socalgal2 wrote: post #251
kstrauser wrote: post #179

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I do not wish to hear anyone else's bathroom noises. Yes, we all use the bathroom. No, I still don't want to hear anyone else doing it.

Talk about a spoiled 1st world problem

What a weird take. If I'm also in the bathroom, I can tune out all the other noises around me because everyone's in there to do the same thing. If I were on the phone with someone, paying close attention to what they're saying, and then I'm treated to a thunderstorm of bowl challenges, I'm going to be annoyed.

Humans pee, fart, and burp. That's perfectly normal. And yet, it's considered basic politeness not to do those things in a freaking business meeting if you can help it.

Re: STFU

#428

Post by tkel »

boarsofcanada wrote: post #109
ecshafer wrote: post #78

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have seen fights break out in the subway over people being loud. People playing loud music in public often seem to be the types to be looking for trouble, they want someone to tell them to turn it down, so they can say no and escalate. In a lot of cities this is a big risk.

To this point, there have been at least a few stories of elderly people being beaten on San Francisco public transit for politely asking people to turn their music down.

OK, I read about someone being murdered by their spouse. That doesn't mean it is going to happen to me. The media reports on sensational stories. That doesn't make them normal.

Re: STFU

#429

Post by pvtmert »

jraph wrote: post #408
ArnoVW wrote: post #355

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No. It delends on how you ask. Did you walk over? Did you say hi? Did you lower yourself to be around their height? Give them a second or two to get used to you? Tell them first that their noise is loud ? Ask them in a respectable tone if they would lower it, just a bit? Did you give the impression that you were asking, not demanding? Of course I won't ask a drunk or aggressive looking person. But there is a wrong wa…

I'm all for asking nicely in general but it doesn't work well with entitled people who don't give a shit about the people around them. The chances, regardless how nice you try to ask, that the person who elected to broadcast their tiktoks or calls to the whole wagon at full volume goes "oh, sorry, I'm so embarrassed, I'll turn this off", are very low. Last time I tried to ask "can you use headphones?", the guy answer…

i agree with this one, in this particular order, how things be in large cities & crowded areas:

- loud person does not care in the first place, that's why they do the loud act

- usually they are more than 1 person, outnumbering me

- although some places have public disturbance prohibited laws, unless there is a law enforcement/security around, chances of me being ending up in a hospital is higher than chances of stumbling on a decent person

- it is easier to act or play stupid

---

on a similar note, last time when i asked someone to lower their volume while having headphones on me, they demanded my headphones because they claimed they were too poor to buy one. -- i am talking about 20$ type-c earbuds vs 16" macbook size marshall speaker. -- as a result, i did not give my headphones and they continued to play music.

Re: STFU

#430

Post by charcircuit »

xattt wrote: post #174
athenot wrote: post #143

This is a fun app. One way I deal with people talking on speakerphone, is inviting myself into their conversation and making comments as if I were an active participant. That usually earns me a weird look, and then they go off speaker so I can't hear what's been said. Success. Similar with folks watching reels on speaker, I fake a laugh or make comments about the content. It's awkward enough that they usually stop be…

How do you deal with the small possibility that the offending person is unhinged (since they’ve already chosen to throw out societal mores out the window) and could physically hurt you?

It's illegal for them to hurt you.
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