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The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café
421–430 of 456 posts
Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café
#422[dead]
A life hack I'm trying for 2026 is to stop setting an alarm clock in the morning, and set a bed time alarm instead. Yes, even when I have an important meeting in the morning. This does two things:
- provide a strong incentive to go to bed at the correct time for my body every day because that's the only way to not over sleep
- enjoy the joy of waking up without an alarm every day
- provide some of this clear thinking time. Either at night when I'm sitting in bed not quite super tired yet, or in the morning when I woke up a bit early before everyone else
Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café
#423Too many negative comments here. This is just someone discovering something new and sharing it very excitedly. Almost 6-7 years ago, I read about a 30min challenge to sit upright without doing anything in a chair challenge. That changed how I think about distractions. If I had written about it, there surely will be people who would just like here say... What is so crazy about it? I do that all the time... To me, this…
Thanks for the perspective. I was looking for it in the comments.
The thing with a café is. OK, it exists. But it just isn't for me. I like being on my own, and you don't go to a public place for that. I got coffee at home (not as good as in a half decent café). If I really do need coffee on the go it is while travelling, and then I don't sit inside (no, not on a crowdy terrace either).
I could write you a post about the the unbearable joy of listening to hypnotic music while on a train or bus ride.
I could write a post about sitting stoned in a squat with everyone going to bed slowly but surely, and this girl still playing her guitar smiling friendly at me, and eventually guiding me to a place where I could sleep. Cause at this point, I had no clue where to go.
But in the end, it boils down to mindfulness and meditation.
Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café
#424Too many negative comments here. This is just someone discovering something new and sharing it very excitedly. Almost 6-7 years ago, I read about a 30min challenge to sit upright without doing anything in a chair challenge. That changed how I think about distractions. If I had written about it, there surely will be people who would just like here say... What is so crazy about it? I do that all the time... To me, this…
I wonder how many of them have read xkcd's Ten Thousand.
Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café
#425Earlier quoted context omitted.
A great exercise while being still is to put your attention to various parts of your body: what does the air smell like? What do you hear? How does the chair under your butt and the ground under your feet feel like? Try not to think too much, let the thoughts come and go like cars on a motorway, but observe closely in and around you.
My ADHD brain recoils at the thought of this, which probably means I would benefit even more from doing so.
There's a pretty good video from HealthyGamerGGG (think I got his name right) on YouTube titled something like: Is ADHD A Superpower for Meditating? It sounds click-baity but I find him quite appealing. As a lifelong ADHDer, meditation has been more beneficial to me than any medicine or other practice.
Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café
#426Having kids allows you to somewhat similarly step out of your usual behavior patterns. Obviously not in the "I'll spend two hours watching someone move porcelain cups around" sense, but today I spent an hour standing barefoot ankle-deep in a muddy puddle holding an umbrella over my kid as they played with a Lego figurine and a plastic cup. I got soaked, but it wasn't too cold and if standing outside feeling the rain…
Similar experience here. I'm like those chimps set free after a life of captivity in a roofed enclosure. I just stare at the sky or maybe at the trees in the distance.
Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café
#427I didn’t quite understand why sitting alone in a café makes you a weirdo (is it an American thing?), but the piece was very well written. We all should learn how to be without electronics for every now and then, accompanied only our thoughts. It is good for the soul. I think the important part is leaving your phone and other devices home. Be alone, without even a possibility of connecting (apart from the old-fashione…
> I think the important part is leaving your phone and other devices home. The annoying part is that this becomes increasingly difficult to impossible. For example, I can't use public transport without my phone anymore, because my ticket is bound to my phone and the provider does not issue paper tickets or smartcards anymore. Less severe but equally frustrating, many restaurants choose to use QR codes for menus rathe…
Surely you can turn your phone off when you get to the cafe, and leave it off for half an hour?
Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café
#428Earlier quoted context omitted.
Part of my job, is that I design protocols to help young children lie in MRI scanners for a living. We have all sorts of techniques to help with this. However, for each new scanning protocol, I like to have had it myself - so I know what the children go through. And, at times lying inside a MRI scanner, detached from the world, with only the noise of the scanner (very reduced with our new noise cancelling headphones)…
This reminds me: I experience a similar "welcome escape" sensation when I'm hospitalized. My work responsibilities are manifold and tend to intrude into my thoughts even when I'm at leisure. But when I'm in the hospital, there seem to be some sort of physical and psychological clean break. Hard to describe.
Yes, it makes me not feel guilty for not thinking about work. I love being super sick lol.
Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café
#429Earlier quoted context omitted.
Why?
you do not need a gym to work out so it is just a waste of money. I used to have membership at Bally’s when I was single but that was for meeting girls, not for working out. I don’t understand people paying money to go to gyms these days for the purposes of working out
Such a weird take. I should deadlift 400 pounds in my apartment? And where do I put the barbell and weights when I am done destroying my floor and freaking my neighbors out?
(and don't say just do an alternative; there is none at those weights and I enjoy it)
Re: The unbearable joy of sitting alone in a café
#430Earlier quoted context omitted.
It can be at first until you get used to it. You can observe your surroundings, make up stories about what is happening. Ask yourself questions. Listen to yourself. This is a bit like excercise. When you first start, 30 minutes of exercise can be torture as your is out of shape and not used to the effort. Keep doing it and it feels better and you feel better. Work on becoming a source of thoughts rather than a consum…
> You can observe your surroundings, make up stories about what is happening. I had to sit still a lot as a child, since I wasn't allowed to have friends or go anywhere. I read a lot, but a lot of the time I was to tired or bored to read, so I'd just defocus my eyes, and disappear into my imagination. It would look like I'm reading, so I wouldn't get punished. In hindsight I'm not sure it's terribly healthy, as I now…
I’m just curious about the “wasn’t allowed to have friends or go anywhere” part. Can you elaborate?
Why not? Is this some form/culture of parenting I’m not familiar with?
This idea of not allowing a child to have friends or go anywhere just sounds like actual emotional abuse.