Earlier quoted context omitted.
Is it not rude to separate couples?
probably depends, but couples already have all the other times they can be with each other
Until kids show up lol
Facts about throwing good parties
421–430 of 431 posts
Re: Facts about throwing good parties
#422Earlier quoted context omitted.
I don’t think this is a specific cultural thing, in my experience some people host more curated gathering, some more relaxed and informal - doesn’t matter where you’re from. People just tend to think the way their social group does it is the ‘norm’.
I think there's a cultural element to how much of it people will know to do without being explicitly told what to do. In the US successful gatherings tend to require a fair bit of wrangling - I've been to more than one potluck where everyone showed up with roughly the same dish...
I think that goes everywhere though, I’ve been to at least one of every type of party described in this discussion thread in the last year and I’m not American.
Re: Facts about throwing good parties
#423Earlier quoted context omitted.
there are no "general habits" in a culturally heterogenous population of 340 million people
You're not going to be a very good statistician or data scientist if you have that mentality. Facebook became a trillionaire over the ability aggregate seemingly unoqie data of billions and provide value to adverts with it. Like any other engineering, it's not about perfection. Being able to peedict that even 10% of these 340m people do a certain thing a certain way is enough to capture and establish a trend. That's…
ok. can you share your methods for the statistical analysis you performed on American culture then?
Re: Facts about throwing good parties
#424Earlier quoted context omitted.
You're not going to be a very good statistician or data scientist if you have that mentality. Facebook became a trillionaire over the ability aggregate seemingly unoqie data of billions and provide value to adverts with it. Like any other engineering, it's not about perfection. Being able to peedict that even 10% of these 340m people do a certain thing a certain way is enough to capture and establish a trend. That's…
ok. can you share your methods for the statistical analysis you performed on American culture then?
Of course. When I'm done with my job search I'll be sure to resume work on my thesis on American party composition.
Any sooner: my going rate for my findings is $3000 up front to resume and finalize my findings.
Re: Facts about throwing good parties
#425Earlier quoted context omitted.
#4 has been tough for me - I take it semi-personally, as a sign of disrespect. I get that everyone has things going on. That said committing to an event where the host spends time + money to prepare forand then not going just seems so rude to me. I try not to give folks a hard time, but after a couple strikes I just won't invite them anymore. It's not worth accomodating people who regularly flake, they can hang out w…
Usually, people who don't want to go to your party will find an excuse as early as possible to decline your invitation in order to avoid unpleasantness and awkwardness for themselves. Assume that the vast majority of people you properly invited and that RSVP you DID want to go, even if they flaked at the last moment. Yes, there are some inconsiderate bastards out there, but there's a big subset of flakers that do fee…
> You need to understand
The least persuasive phrase in English
Re: Facts about throwing good parties
#426Earlier quoted context omitted.
Or you live in a society where people are naturally inclined to go to parties because it’s normal to do so frequently.
This dismissive tone does not encourage pleasant conversation. Mind the website’s guidelines.
I don’t see how it’s dismissive. It’s adding a perspective the GP hasn’t considered.
Re: Facts about throwing good parties
#427Earlier quoted context omitted.
> Of course you're missing something, probably the most important thing in the world after rich parents is being smart. I cry a small tear for that limited world view, if it even was meant seriously or just as sarcasm.
Maybe you were just never surrounded by dumb people. The amount of damage they make to their own quality of life is almost unbelievable. I sure as hell think it's the biggest lottery we play with the most impact on the course of our lives. Intelligence and wealth of parents. What you do with that after is up to you, but those two factors will make for the easiest lives.
This is not my experience.
I know people from different walks of life, some severely mentally disabled (Down syndrome etc) that are the most open and cheerful, to millionaires that are stuck in continuous streams of unhappiness and negativity.
Most people one would consider “intelligent“ with university degrees and such I know seem stuck in unhappy relationships and work and negative stress, worried about big and complex topics such as climate change and politics, people one would consider “dumb“ or “plain“ that work as cleaning staff or at supermarkets and such that are fairly happy living their simple lives. They think they are too stupid anyway to understand politics so why even bother with things like that. They’re not chasing personal/career “growth“ and achieving “more“ every day. Those with money can afford luxury goods but it doesn’t seem to make them feel more content that some that get the leftover foods from foodsharing networks. And yes, maybe a factor are things like fairly functional universal healthcare in this country, in terms of basic needs and security.
I know homeless people and also they seem generally happier than, say, the doctors I know. A few cans of beer a day and not-shittiest weather are totally sufficient to make them enjoy the day. They have no bosses that they need to report to, no alarm clocks, no calendar. I may not want to trade places with the “dumb“ or “poor“ but I don’t use my own judgment of their lives to determine if they are okay, I let them speak their own. Yes, I see them make decisions that I consider to be at least suboptimal given their situation, but that is my problem, not theirs.
The homeless/unemployed I know have a strong support network, meet up every day with maybe a dozen equals, very simple interactions, nobody intelligent enough to majorly fuck the other over. And why, if there’s nothing to gain from that. Their problems are simple, day to day, nothing too complex. The millionaires I know have to deal with highly “intelligent“ manipulative people every day, and deal with all sorts of complex bullshit, which understandably can be very exhausting, especially if there is no end in sight. It will go on like that for the rest of their lives. And on top of that unfortunately they are intelligent enough to see that.
Re: Facts about throwing good parties
#428Earlier quoted context omitted.
Dave Barry is a humor writer. I've followed him for 20 years and this is absolutely his style of writing, perhaps even paraphrased from one of his pieces. Hats off to OP if this is their original writing, it nails his style.
Dave Barry caused me to write the original Exploding Whale article on Wikipedia. I got the first oddball barnstar, which was made just for me. I’m now banned.
This is the kind of minor celebrity Internet encounter that delights my day but is impossible to explain to anyone else. :-D
Re: Facts about throwing good parties
#429Earlier quoted context omitted.
On the flip side, is there such a thing as a good, quiet party? Only if it's very small.
I attended "The Whisper Club" once in NYC, where the music performance was female performers whispering to soft muted horns and piano, and anyone who spoke in a normal or louder tones was asked to leave. Instead of clapping to the music, people snapped their fingers. It was kind of subversively wonderful.
That actually does sound amazing! That has to be one of the best parts of living in NYC, that there is literally something for everyone.
Re: Facts about throwing good parties
#430Love all of these tips. I've hosted dozens of events since moving to NYC and figured I'd add 5 more: 1. If this is a dinner party (or people are all seated), force people to get up and move in a way that they'll meet new people. Do this when you're about 2/3 of the way through the party. Some will complain - do it anyway. 2. Plan 1 (ideally 2) interludes. It can be a small speech, moving people around, changing locat…
I don't understand the idea of the host forcing interactions like this. I think the best party is when the host is just another attendee.
As someone with a medium amount of social anxiety: for the love of god, arrange for excuses for me to talk to people. I cannot just walk up to people and start a conversation. If your party does not have reasons to talk to people I will not and just end up feeling like a third wheel.
I'm sure there's plenty of people who are naturals at parties, but for those who are not it's very nice if the deck gets stacked in favor of new interactions.