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I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

wave3.social

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Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#421

Post by profsummergig »

_zaey wrote: post #417

Bouldering (indoor climbing) is the most social sport I’ve tried, and I’d highly recommend going on your own as you will find opportunities to meet new people, and others will talk to you (as long as you’re not wearing headphones!). Bouldering provides an open space you can move freely in, with no inherent social hierarchy (no tutors, teachers), just people trying varying difficulties of bouldering routes. If someone…

Is it usually done in natural settings outdoors, or in a sort of gym, indoors?

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#422

Post by williamdclt »

JimDabell wrote: post #259
bcraven wrote: post #252

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You have selectively quoted that article. Note the last four paragraphs are: >Andrew McNerney, 70, admitted there was initially some resistance to becoming a mixed group. >He said: "There was apprehension, but in all honesty, it's turned out well. >"We [the men] escape now and again [to the quiet room] and have a chat and weigh things up." >But he added: "It's a lovely atmosphere, and it's been good."

Yes. I selectively pulled out the bits that I thought were relevant instead of quoting the whole thing. I know he said that it’s been good, but taken in relation to the rest of the article, I don’t place much weight on it. The women persistently pressured the men to join, the men were apprehensive, they allowed them in for one morning, one morning turned into all the time, women now comprise 50% of the group, and the…

> that’s not the story that the article was telling.

It is though? Reading the article, I'm fully getting a sense that its point is that it was an improvement for everyone (despite the article describing it as being triggered from nagging from the women).

Now you can choose not to believe that, but that _is_ the story the article was telling, or at least it's how I understand it.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#423

Post by the_gipsy »

vladvasiliu wrote: post #357
the_gipsy wrote: post #351

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[flagged]

I don't think you need to exclude homosexuals. As a straight male, I interact with my homosexual buddies the same way I interact with my straight buddies. Women, gay or straight, interact differently, including those in whom I have no sexual interest. If there was inappropriate behavior which wouldn't stop once called out, they would be excluded.

You specifically maybe don't, but homosexual (or bisexual) males do have sexual interest in other homo- or bisexual men. So it wouldn't be a "problem" as long as there exactly only one homosexual, or as long as they're a very small minority.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#424

Post by tonightstoast »

profsummergig wrote: post #421
_zaey wrote: post #417

Bouldering (indoor climbing) is the most social sport I’ve tried, and I’d highly recommend going on your own as you will find opportunities to meet new people, and others will talk to you (as long as you’re not wearing headphones!). Bouldering provides an open space you can move freely in, with no inherent social hierarchy (no tutors, teachers), just people trying varying difficulties of bouldering routes. If someone…

Is it usually done in natural settings outdoors, or in a sort of gym, indoors?

Both! Usually outdoor bouldering is a bit more of an undertaking to get into since you’ll have to travel and bring matts & additional gear. But look up “climbing gym” on google and you should be able to find some if you’re in a reasonably sized metro. Not sure if you’re in the USA but the southwest has a ton of great outdoor bouldering.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#425

Post by sigmoid10 »

profsummergig wrote: post #421
_zaey wrote: post #417

Bouldering (indoor climbing) is the most social sport I’ve tried, and I’d highly recommend going on your own as you will find opportunities to meet new people, and others will talk to you (as long as you’re not wearing headphones!). Bouldering provides an open space you can move freely in, with no inherent social hierarchy (no tutors, teachers), just people trying varying difficulties of bouldering routes. If someone…

Is it usually done in natural settings outdoors, or in a sort of gym, indoors?

It ranges from high tech indoor and outdoor gyms with customisable holds all the way to a random rock somewhere in the middle of nature where local guys put a few mats under. If you start going to a gym you'll naturally learn about all the other places very quickly.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#426

Post by jajko »

flowingfocus wrote: post #364
keiferski wrote: post #173

This idea appears every once in awhile, as it’s obviously a major issue in modern life. The interesting thing though is how the solution is always location-agnostic. By that I mean it’s never really about a specific cafe or restaurant or soccer field, it’s always an app or service that organizes people to show up in various places. I bring this up because if you look at places that had lively social activities a few…

> The neighborhood cafe where locals can stop by at any time and see other locals This is still the norm in some places. When I was cycling through the Balkans, I was surprised how many people sit in public spaces, usually close to a kiosk, and play cards, throw dice, or just chatter

Whole southern Europe is like that (sitting now in a small trattorria in Liguria province in Italy, I see this everywhere, and ie Spain, Portugal or Greece is same).

The problem mostly arises in big cities where a lot of young move for work, I'd call those socially sterile places.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#427

Post by phrotoma »

mensetmanusman wrote: post #409
phrotoma wrote: post #373

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As is the case with everything, I'm certain it's more complicated than this, but I believe you've hit on a huge factor. I would encourage anyone who is interested in this (or skeptical of it!) to check out the work of Niobe Way, a psychologist who has been researching the social lives of adolescent boys for a couple decades. I would crudely summarize a key finding of her research as roughly: around 12-14 yrs of age b…

This is a natural response to the culture sexualizing everything and how lifestyles are celebrated.

I don't think I understand what you mean. If that were the case, wouldn't teen girls have the same issue? I know it's hard to convey sincerity by text so to be clear I'm not trying to be glib, genuinely curious about your ideas here.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#428

Post by bravetraveler »

bradlys wrote: post #108

I’m not the target audience but I wonder if I’m the type of individual it wishes would attend. (There is a caveat) I’m in my mid-30s, relatively successful, educated, friendly, outgoing, and so on. When I think of many men in my life, I am there for them emotionally and mentally. I’ve been there when times were good and bad. But, I have no interest in this even a little. If I wanted more male friends, it’d be trivial…

> I wonder if I’m the type of individual it wishes would attend

You are! A more complete person than myself... and people won't leave me alone! When I hear "Loneliness Epidemic" I can't help but feel it's projection. They're lonely [or not making enough money] and want to convince me, too.

Your relationship search is a good example. People take self-exclusion personally. Why?

A bit of a tangent, but I'm disgusted with the prevalence of Alcohol. I've smoked with homeless people outside of concerts. I don't drink with my coworkers. You might be surprised which has been more of a problem.

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#429

Post by _zaey »

profsummergig wrote: post #421
_zaey wrote: post #417

Bouldering (indoor climbing) is the most social sport I’ve tried, and I’d highly recommend going on your own as you will find opportunities to meet new people, and others will talk to you (as long as you’re not wearing headphones!). Bouldering provides an open space you can move freely in, with no inherent social hierarchy (no tutors, teachers), just people trying varying difficulties of bouldering routes. If someone…

Is it usually done in natural settings outdoors, or in a sort of gym, indoors?

In my experience people will start indoors and build experience before heading outdoors.

You could ask people in the bouldering gym whether they have any experience with outdoor bouldering and people will start sharing their favourite spots nearby, and might even invite you along.

Outdoors requires:

- your own climbing shoes

- someone with a bouldering mat

Whereas you will hire shoes from the bouldering gym as a beginner

You won’t need to bring anything to the bouldering gym other than a water bottle and some loose fit clothing

Re: I'm starting a social club to solve the male loneliness epidemic

#430

Post by potato3732842 »

kgwxd wrote: post #406
philipallstar wrote: post #328

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> The men are there to meet each other, not to avoid women. Gender segregation isn't the point - it's about building relationships. I'm not sure that's quite true. Men tend to talk and joke in a different way to women, which they then modify around women or be punished. The main difference between an old-school Personnel department and a modern HR department is HR is (self-)tasked with making sure the environment is…

[flagged]

Surely you see the irony in advocating for "just man up and comply"?

Imagine how this comment would come across if applied along any other demographic axis.

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