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No one expects young men to do anything and they respond by doing nothing (2022)

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Re: No one expects young men to do anything and they respond by doing nothing (2022)

#421

Post by ToucanLoucan »

portpecos wrote: post #366

> Amy, a white thirty-year-old mother of three, ages six, five, and three, had a boyfriend who worked steadily but insisted on spending on selfish pursuits. This is what eventually broke the young couple up. ‘He wouldn’t spend money for the kids’ food. I had to send my kids across the street to my mom’s to feed them and stuff. That’s what I got fed up with. I shouldn’t have to live like that…I said it’s time for him…

> Translation: “I was impregnated by 3 other guys, and they all left me, and now I finally found a boyfriend but it turns out he doesn’t want to spend his money to feed my kids.”

This just in, when you date a single mother, you will probably end up being involved in her children's lives and supporting them. Didn't think we needed to spell that out but here we are.

Re: No one expects young men to do anything and they respond by doing nothing (2022)

#422

Post by 9dev »

portpecos wrote: post #366

> Amy, a white thirty-year-old mother of three, ages six, five, and three, had a boyfriend who worked steadily but insisted on spending on selfish pursuits. This is what eventually broke the young couple up. ‘He wouldn’t spend money for the kids’ food. I had to send my kids across the street to my mom’s to feed them and stuff. That’s what I got fed up with. I shouldn’t have to live like that…I said it’s time for him…

When dating someone with children, but you don’t want to go all-in with that person, please just leave: you’re not only making the life of your partner miserable, but also destroy their child’s or children’s. You will invariably end up walking away at some point, and the children will witness all of the ensuing mess.

If, however, you have an intention to stay, there is no reason to make a distinction between their money and yours, and you will come off bigoted and thrifty.

And of course you can also choose to be a sexist like the parent commenter, but that only makes you look like a fool.

Re: No one expects young men to do anything and they respond by doing nothing (2022)

#423

Post by nradov »

tacticalturtle wrote: post #98
quacked wrote: post #79

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A 4.5M unit shortage wouldn't be present if the past several administrations hadn't allowed huge amounts of immigration in the past decade. Reality isn't constrained to "you have to build as fast as possible since your population is going to increase very quickly and there's nothing you can do about that". If every person who came to the US in the past ten years went home, there would be a colossal increase in housin…

> Reality isn't constrained to "you have to build as fast as possible since your population is going to increase very quickly and there's nothing you can do about that". If all of the job growth is happening in select metro areas around the country, the existing domestic population is going to move into those areas, regardless of the level of immigration

Fortunately there is a lot of job growth outside the major metro areas. Look what's happening now with oil and gas extraction in North Dakota or plastics manufacturing in Ohio.

Re: No one expects young men to do anything and they respond by doing nothing (2022)

#424

Post by dsign »

Doches wrote: post #229
nikanj wrote: post #200

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Being emotionally available, participating in chores, providing a comfortable lifestyle while not working all the time, being reasonably well-read and good conversationalist, etc. Have you not noticed how much more we expect from men as partners? NB I’m not saying we shouldn’t expect more from them. I’m saying many are seeing the list of demands, and opting out of even trying

> Being emotionally available, participating in chores, providing a comfortable lifestyle while not working all the time, being reasonably well-read and good conversationalist, etc. I...honestly cannot tell if this is meant ironically. Those things seem like table stakes for being an adult. It's not "expecting more of them" to simply expect people to...grow up, and help care for the other people in their lives. You w…

> Being emotionally available

My dad taught me boys do the opposite. My schoolmates told me that emotions were not for boys. I'm pretty sure I'm not a unique snowflake.

> participating in chores

Dad said that boys don't do domestic chores. If a couple lives inside an apartment, all chores are domestic.

> providing a comfortable lifestyle while not working all the time

Jesus, this is not exactly trivial for most of us.

> being reasonably well-read

Very few of my friends, family and acquaintances are well-read. I'm pretty sure they don't even know what table stakes are. But it's not a hard requirement, they have kids anyway.

> good conversationalist

Not a trivial thing either. Incidentally, being well-read doesn't help if your partner is not, or if your partner is onto serious books and you like to read horny gay romps.

Re: No one expects young men to do anything and they respond by doing nothing (2022)

#425

Post by whamlastxmas »

criddell wrote: post #302
whamlastxmas wrote: post #154

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Mine cost me $1k up front, health insurance didn’t cover a penny. It’s really silly.

When you think about it, it is kind of crazy. If a person can't afford that, then they definitely can't afford kids.

The sillier part is that it has to save the insurance company sooooo much money to reduce the number of parents, you think they’d be knocking on doors to see if people want them for free

Re: No one expects young men to do anything and they respond by doing nothing (2022)

#426

Post by dsign »

smegger001 wrote: post #413
hnthrow289570 wrote: post #320

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>What are the rising standards though? If you're on a dating app, that's one impression of the dating pool, so it's no wonder some dudes take the 6'0"+, $100k+, abs or gtfo lists seriously And if you are wondering why they are being heavily influenced by that, gestures to article

Its not wrong the 80/20 rule applies to the dating apps in a real way, a small minority of males on them sweep the majority of matches and anyone not it the upper quartile may as well not even apply. When your part of the 80% of males in compilation against eachother for the lower 20% of matches it can be daunting. You can choose free porn, play games, drink, and hang with friends or fight the constant rejection, and…

To what you said, I will add this is not only about guys. I've female friends who are in the same situation (bottom 80%) and who have opted out. And if you are gay...

I think we should subsidize weight-loss medications.

Re: No one expects young men to do anything and they respond by doing nothing (2022)

#427

Post by Fire-Dragon-DoL »

klyrs wrote: post #419
Fire-Dragon-DoL wrote: post #408

Earlier quoted context omitted.

1-2% of having permanent pain between my legs sounds like an ENORMOUS amount

Right. That's actually less than the failure rate of condoms used as intended. But you'll never experience childbirth, postpartum pain, and you can just walk away from a family if your partner's vagina is a source permanent pain for her.

The condom failure rate might be higher, but the result of an undesired pregnancy because of condoms failure is not that rate. Childbirth is limited in scope and postpartum pain will not last permanently.

Permanent chronic pain will last until the end of your life, that's heavy in my book.

That being said I assume this statement is country specific, because for example in Italy if you walk away (as a dad) from your family, most of your income will go to the mother. Not only that, it is basically guaranteed that as a dad, you will not get child custody (unless the mother gives that up voluntarily), so if you actually wanted to be a dad, SORRY, you are not going to enjoy your kids. And yes the mother can walk away from you, with your money and your kids.

That being said, I'm seeing this through the lense of a stable couple with children (my case). Both me and my wife discuss our options and we don't like any contraceptive options right now. Either diminished feeling (which I have to assumes vary drastically per person), or some damage to the body (external hormones for female, chronic pain for male).

Terrible across the board

Re: No one expects young men to do anything and they respond by doing nothing (2022)

#428

Post by mcBesse »

anal_reactor wrote: post #359
mrguyorama wrote: post #351

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I know plenty of gay people and autistic people in relationships. Get off the internet and touch grass.

Ah yes. Whenever someone asks me what can we do about poverty I'll just reply "I know plenty of people with lucrative jobs, get off the internet and touch grass". We've been telling people for years already that them being lonely is their personal failure, not some systematic problem, yet people, on average, keep getting even more lonely. What makes you think that continuing to present loneliness as a personal failur…

Hahaha IKR I keep hearing that advice and like has it EVER worked for ANYONE? If someone doesn't believe things can get better, then you can't make a depressed horse drink or however it goes. The thing that needs to be learned CANNOT be communicated.

I discovered it for myself after like 6 months of therapy. Give it a shot if you can. Trust me, being smug about it to people online is so worth it.

Re: No one expects young men to do anything and they respond by doing nothing (2022)

#429

Post by dsign »

anal_reactor wrote: post #310
nikanj wrote: post #108

We expect young men to grow up and become "husband material". Due to various changes (standards for husbands rising, economic opportunity diminishing), this goal has become clearly unreachable for many. I would opt out if I was a poor young man today, and focus on enjoying the small pleasures (drinking with my buddies, playing PS5). The hill they are expected to climb is ludicrous, and I am not surprised they respond…

I'm gay and probably slightly autustic so for me the very natural goal of having a partner is indeed unreachable. The society doesn't give me any other goal to pursue, so I'm stuck just smoking weed and watching YouTube, which is depressing.

> the very natural goal of having a partner is indeed unreachable

It is not. Plenty of gay men in the world. About one in ten, last time I checked the statistics. But I'll admit it's real tough for most of us out there, not because we are few, but due to all the other reasons. You don't need no goals given by society; make some of your own.

Re: No one expects young men to do anything and they respond by doing nothing (2022)

#430

Post by criddell »

whamlastxmas wrote: post #425
criddell wrote: post #302

Earlier quoted context omitted.

When you think about it, it is kind of crazy. If a person can't afford that, then they definitely can't afford kids.

The sillier part is that it has to save the insurance company sooooo much money to reduce the number of parents, you think they’d be knocking on doors to see if people want them for free

It's the opposite. Insurance companies are regulated and the portion of the premium that they can keep as profit is limited. If they want to make more dollars, they have to increase the amount we spend on healthcare which lets them increase premiums. They would rather keep 20% of $10k than 20% of $1k.
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