Why aren't smart people happier?

Post by matheusmoreira » Wed, Aug 10, 2022, 8:19 PM UTC

nescioquid wrote: post #358

throw__away7391 wrote: post #272

I have noticed that a lot of/majority of "regular people" tend to coast along on the back of others as a way of life. If "smart people" are perceived by friends and family as being problem solvers, many will route their problems to a "smart friend", someone who seems to have their life somewhat in order or always have the answer to everything. I used to get an endless stream of requests for everything from technical…

> "regular people" tend to coast along on the back of others as a way of life...many will route their problems to a "smart friend" The human animal's basic survival strategy is cooperation. I'd imagine your "regular people" friends should be willing to help you out with something not readily in your power (e.g. house-sitting). Because you are intelligent, you get a certain kind of request; if you had a big truck or b…

Post by daniel-cussen » Wed, Aug 10, 2022, 8:22 PM UTC

Post by dmerrick » Wed, Aug 10, 2022, 8:25 PM UTC

migro23 wrote: post #415

Many people conflate hedonistic pleasure with happiness. This is a big mistake that leads to addiction, selfishness and inevitable dissatisfaction. Even happiness as a sustainable state may be an unrealistic or unattainable goal. For me the answer to this puzzle is a finely tuned balance between self growth and contentment with perhaps a heavier emphasis on contentment. Regular and consistent periods of reflection an…

Post by nickelcitymario » Wed, Aug 10, 2022, 8:35 PM UTC

slothtrop wrote: post #356

nickelcitymario wrote: post #310

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"Don't try" != "inaction". It means letting go of expectations. The wind blows to and fro with incredibly amounts of energy, but there's no "try". The lion doesn't try to hunt. It simply hunts, and sometimes that results in a meal. It doesn't sit around wondering why it's such a failure as a lion. And it doesn't gather trinkets to prove how successful it is. In other words, it doesn't obsess about its own happiness.…

Doing, unless we've already instilled a habit on auto-pilot, requires effort to varying degrees. That is trying. It's impossible to divorce. I think letting go of expectations is a positive, but I think the aphorism in question does not translate to it. Cognitive trappings have nothing to do with effort. Effort in itself can be rewarding.

Post by kinos » Wed, Aug 10, 2022, 8:37 PM UTC

matheusmoreira wrote: post #424

landryraccoon wrote: post #417

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don’t see what the problem is. If you have helped someone a lot, and then call in a favor and the ghost you, you didn’t lose a friend. You lost a parasite. It’s like when you lend money to someone and they avoid you to never pay you back. Depending on the amount that can be money well spent.

> I don’t see what the problem is. The problem is the transaction is unbalanced. They got help when they needed and refused to help when called upon. Someone took more than they gave and there's no real way to address the issue so the only sensible thing to do is to avoid putting oneself in such a position in the first place.