421–430 of 522 posts
This is your problem, or one of them. Stop judging people and seeing them as below you. Guess what — you may not be short or aged, but you are also lonely. Probably have more in common with them.
This attitude will poison you even if you meet "normal" people, you will find reasons to talk yourself out of meeting them.
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> Most people can't do it, and get weird about it. What? Definitely not my experience. > Its very expensive or you need to luck into a certain life style. Travel does not need to be expensive. Hostels are cheap. If you volunteer, you can even stay for free. Also many regions of the world are inexpensive. > No one is interested in seeing travel pics or talking about places ime. Again, not sure what kind of people you'…
Sure when I will travel I meet people interested in travel. I've gotten some cool info for futures trips from people. When I get back home, no one really cares. They're busy being broke or working high stress jobs. 40% of Americans never left the country. Of that how many do you think are just going on a cruise or a carribean resort? I'm pretty sure you live in a bubble. None of my friends are taking more then a trip…
I'd imagine most people here working well-paying jobs in tech living in cities like NYC/SF probably go on more than one vacation per year. In Europe, people get 1-3+ months of vacation, and it's very cheap to travel within Europe.
It's pretty sad if one doesn't spend more than 2+ weeks per year on vacation, unless one really enjoys their work that much, which I imagine probably is not the case for most employees.
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How did you meet people in the new place?
I moved into an area and apartment complex that was conducive to meeting people.
As for someone who has been living in the same city for their whole adult life, the thought of finding a place in a different country/city that would tick as many boxes as possible seems quite daunting.
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From a visitor’s perspective Portland seems cool and hip. What actually goes wrong when you live there?
New Orleans has one of the highest murder rates in the country. It's not a safe place.
Besides, NOLA is fine. Murders aren't evenly distributed; there are plenty of perfectly safe spots and lots of safe activities to do.
In my opinion, big cities like NYC can make it better or worse even. They make it extra hard to build community as everyone is minding their own business and people come and go without any attachment to anyone, but on the upside there's a lot more people, so the odds are obviously better.
I have often been told im good at making friends and I think you can make them anytime, anywhere, anyhow, the first thing to focus on is your personal mindset and build from there: 1. Just say yes. When someone asks for anything, say yes, no matter how big or small (help them move out, look after their dog) This will put you into novel situations. 2. Show genuine interest in things. Ask why, learn more, dig deeper, k…
As someone who has spent 3+ years backpacking around the world the Eat Pray Love life changing experience is 99% bullshit. Travel is fun. That's why I did it. But life changing? Nope. Came back and life was pretty much the same except that my job prospects were worse. The only concrete positive I can point to is a significant improvement in my online dating profile.
As the saying goes, "Wherever you go there you are".
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I moved into an area and apartment complex that was conducive to meeting people.
Any tips for finding such places? As for someone who has been living in the same city for their whole adult life, the thought of finding a place in a different country/city that would tick as many boxes as possible seems quite daunting.
This is extremely common. In their 30s, people get married, have kids, and move to the suburbs. Finding and keeping friends in your 30s is quite a challenge. Some tips: - move to a city - things are much much easier in a city as people are more transient, groups aren't as established, and new people arrive all the time - it sounds like you have some friends - ask them if they have any friends in your area you should…
You have 2 paths:
1. try to play catchup and fit into the norms that you have neglected and let bypass you. Sounds like you've already made an attempt here and are struggling. You know what it takes: self improvement, shared hobbies, therapy, talking to strangers, personal growth etc.
2. embrace that you are an outsider and lean into a degenerative life style. Really give up on fitting into the social norms. Embrace that you are a social degenerate and have fun with it. Start hanging in anti-social circles and engaging in risky non-normal behavior. Get a motorcycle, join a biker gang. Start frequenting punk rock bars and meet other outsiders. Pick up a casual drug habit and socialize through shared usage. Blow all your engineering salary on strip clubs and sex worker experiences. Is this "normal", no. Will you have more fun ? yes.
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Even supposedly "unattractive" or "aging" women can start to look more attractive as you get to know them. It's really amazing the transformation that can happen. So much of what is attractive is subjective. It's hard to see that when younger, but it's true. Besides, the attractiveness we associate with youth inevitably fades anyway.
Those aging women, how dare they get older, inconveniencing OP with their existence in the same timeline.
A sober look at how society judges people should remove all surprise surrounding this topic, unfair as it may be - men are judged primarily by financial / dominance success / physical indicators of dominance (e.g. height) and women are primarily judged on their appearance / youth.