The Friendship Recession: The lost art of connecting

Post by nottorp » Sun, Apr 27, 2025, 4:51 PM UTC

fknorangesite wrote: post #404

ryandrake wrote: post #251

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's right. The whole "He is under no obligation to [do nice thing | be social | act friendly]" is a very Reddit attitude. Yes, it's technically correct: You don't have to be nice. But you are allowed to be nice, and that choice doesn't hurt or cost anything. If you go up to a fellow parent and say, "Hey, nice to see you again." and they just ignore you scrolling their phones, sure, they have a Constitutional right…

> "He is under no obligation to [do nice thing | be social | act friendly]" is a very Reddit attitude It's also a very Hacker News attitude, as you are witnessing in this thread. I don't understand why people HN talk down about Reddit so much when it's really no better here, either.

Post by aianus » Sun, Apr 27, 2025, 5:16 PM UTC

lazide wrote: post #141

9rx wrote: post #132

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The more interesting question is: If people in HCOL areas are so poor that they can't even afford to make time to bask in friendships with the people the city has to offer, why are they still there?

Stuck. Trying to move feels like an impossibly difficult situation.

Post by sureglymop » Sun, Apr 27, 2025, 5:38 PM UTC

dm03514 wrote: post #16

For the us, I feel like it’s late stage individualism. This is what happens I think when people prioritize themselves over their communities, I think we have less dependence on our communities than ever thanks to the internet and being able to physically avoid community. We have less interaction than before. We can order grocery pickup and not even have to be physically around people for basic life tasks. We order ne…

Post by queenkjuul » Sun, Apr 27, 2025, 6:19 PM UTC

redczar wrote: post #100

paulryanrogers wrote: post #62

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't deny white flight and red-lining happened, continues in some places, and is horrible. I'm not convinced that's the sole or even primary reason for modern loneliness. > Things like Elks Lodges went into long term decline when women and blacks had to be admitted. People don't need institutionalized racism and misogyny to make friends. They already have a right to be racist and privately associate / not associat…

I think you don’t understand what happened. When the laws were changed and forced communities to allow blacks to use municipal pools and when places like Elks Lodges were forced to accept women and minorities white men abandoned these things. Cities stopped funding municipal pools and membership in clubs drastically declined. White men gutted the idea of communal activity in response to civil rights.

Post by queenkjuul » Sun, Apr 27, 2025, 6:26 PM UTC

watwut wrote: post #354

somedude895 wrote: post #347

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Another factor I'd mention is, ironically enough, government social programs. Humans were always social because they needed each other. If you don't depend on your community or your family, you'll be much less inclined to invest in those relationships. It used to be if you fell on hard times you might rely on your community to help you out, which would however require you to take part in it, and contribute to it in s…

If this was true, Europeans would be much more lonely then Americans. It is not the case.