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Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

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Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#411

Post by tommypie »

kludgemaker wrote: post #280

I regret hearing the lies spoken during sex education when I was in fifth grade in 1987. The public school I was forced to attend brought in a sociologist to do the damage. She told us that we had to release our libido energy regularly - either by having sexual relations with another person or by masturbation, and that this was okay and healthy. Self control and abstinence were presented as being unrealistic. This pr…

I don't know if that helps ... but I didn't that without the sociologist and only with the help of the Internet.

I took me sometimes, I am much better on that. But it takes a shitload of work and just removing the blaming you put on yourself everytime your relaspe.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#412

Post by tommypie »

brianolson wrote: post #176

Romances that didn't happen because I chickened out, or that went badly because I screwed up in some way. Nothing to do with Hacker News, just Human stuff. I'm just a nerd who has been unlucky in love.

I sincerely enjoy this thread because it asks the harder questions to the audience. Human stuff are very hard.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#414

Post by missedthecue »

higeorge13 wrote: post #398
missedthecue wrote: post #327

Losing the relationship with my best friend and girlfriend when I was in my twenties. We had been friends ever since we were kids and then dated all through school and college. We both knew marriage was in the cards. But then she left. No one cheated. No broken trust. No drama. She told me she wanted to know what it's like to be alone, which I mean, fair enough after so many years of just us. Since then, many wonderf…

Did you ever hear what she did after you? Because the "i want to stay alone excuse" usually means something else. I don't think she deserves to be your biggest regret, you did nothing wrong.

She was in fact alone/single for at least 1 or 2 years after last I heard. I haven't stalked her... ha

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#416

Post by rchaud »

throwaway2722 wrote: post #396
tasuki wrote: post #392

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> as I believed early baldness would negatively affect people’s initial impressions of me I hope you know now, this is a mistaken belief. Also in romantic context.

There is plenty of survey data to show that baldness reduces a man’s attractiveness. The effect size varies with age. Anecdotally, it also appears to have especially dire consequences in modern online dating. However, this effect surely pales in comparison to the effect of the permanent sexual dysfunction finasteride can cause. It is frankly outrageous that regulators in the United States have adopted the drug compan…

You say you have not dated, so your skepticism is perhaps warranted due to lack of real life experience.

There is survey data that can prove, or at least strongly point to pretty much any conclusion you want.

And yet, bald people are out there dating. As are overweight people and everyone else that doesn't sit squarely inside society's beauty standards. Have they done anything differently?

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#417

Post by 1sembiyan »

reuben_scratton wrote: post #385

Having kids. I'm sure it's great for normies but my kids are mentally disabled and being their dad is grief and heartache without end. I have no close family to share any of it with - the little family I grew up with are all dead and I am looking forward to my own death. I hope that one day genetic research will advance to a point where 23andme et al can help future young couples avoid these kind of outcomes.

My sympathies. Are these issues that could have been flagged by the current genetic pre-screeners? Eg NIPT

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#418

Post by badpun »

uejfiweun wrote: post #373

I'm 25 and I've never really been in a relationship. I'm an attractive guy but I've consistently punched below my weight class with women. Most women that I've actually been interested in I've been too scared to actually make a move. Now I'm in the south bay and while my career is nice I just practically never have random encounters with women and it's getting me really down. I'm going to be moving to SF soon to hope…

> I hate the fact that something so grueling for me seems to be so easy and, well, fun for the other 99% of people out there.

In reality, that number is way, WAY lower, especially at your age? Perhaps 10-20%. The rest is struggling too, in one way or another (some may not realise it at the time).

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