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I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

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Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#411

Post by paulcole »

CRConrad wrote: post #404
paulcole wrote: post #156

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If that’s how a person without kids feels, isn’t having kids just creating another person who has to have kids to find meaning in their life (and on and on and on)? With the certainty of climate change, it feels like adoption is the only moral/ethical way to do this.

> If that’s how a person without kids feels, isn’t having kids just creating another person who has to have kids to find meaning in their life (and on and on and on)? OK, so the meaning of our lives is to perpetuate the species. Not too bad; if it's good enough for (the other) animals, why not for us too? Ya want anything beyond that, it would logically have to be to make mankind of the future a better species than r…

> if it's good enough for (the other) animals, why not for us too?

My cat drinks from the toilet.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#412

Post by cko »

wing-_-nuts wrote: post #248
dangerface wrote: post #221

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> If you don't get much out of it - don't worry, they will. Im very selfish I get nothing out of helping others but I do it anyway and usually it ends up hurting the person I am trying to help, as the help is unwanted or the way I was helping was unwanted. You would think people would just be grateful for you trying but it turns out they are just as focused on themselves as myself. It seems most people don't really w…

Man come on. This sounds like you've tried to help some people you care about with issues that are down to a lack of discipline (addiction, financial problems, etc), and people resented you for it. Now you're writing off all charity and volunteerism because of it? Get real. This is just lazy nihilism.

I have had many examples in my life where helping friends have made them dependent on it and later take it for granted.

I didn't really set out to help them, either. Just kinda kept saying yes until they expected me to keep saying yes and became 'surprised' if I hesitated when they asked for too much. It was easy for me most of the time, having the freedom of being single and tons of free time.

And these are good people. People I like and am still friends with. Maybe not the most introspective people, but then again probably human nature at work.

My selfish motivation for helping was to be liked or respected more. And it made feel good. I got what I wanted but there is also a cost.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#413

Post by basq »

shard wrote: post #385
dgfitz wrote: post #374

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would hesitate to endorse Robbins. He’s had a litany of sexual abuse claims against him, among other legal problems

I despair at the modern trope of dismissing something of worth due to a person's thoughts/actions in an unrelated area (in modern parlance, "cancelling" someone). It seems like an ad hominem attack to me. How will this trend evolve in the future? Will the works of people like Beethoven, da Vinci, Einstein be cancelled due to them being meat eaters? (Substitute someone of equal stature if the people listed are actuall…

true words spoken by a false man, makes them false.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#414

Post by CRConrad »

paulcole wrote: post #411
CRConrad wrote: post #404

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> If that’s how a person without kids feels, isn’t having kids just creating another person who has to have kids to find meaning in their life (and on and on and on)? OK, so the meaning of our lives is to perpetuate the species. Not too bad; if it's good enough for (the other) animals, why not for us too? Ya want anything beyond that, it would logically have to be to make mankind of the future a better species than r…

> if it's good enough for (the other) animals, why not for us too? My cat drinks from the toilet.

It's water. I drink water too. I didn't lick my kid clean when he was a baby either, but on the level of having him in the first place your cat and I -- and you -- have more in common than not.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#415

Post by Apocryphon »

shard wrote: post #385
dgfitz wrote: post #374

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would hesitate to endorse Robbins. He’s had a litany of sexual abuse claims against him, among other legal problems

I despair at the modern trope of dismissing something of worth due to a person's thoughts/actions in an unrelated area (in modern parlance, "cancelling" someone). It seems like an ad hominem attack to me. How will this trend evolve in the future? Will the works of people like Beethoven, da Vinci, Einstein be cancelled due to them being meat eaters? (Substitute someone of equal stature if the people listed are actuall…

Now that’s moral relativism gone amuck.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#416

Post by DoingSomeThings »

This resonates. It feels like a cliche, but I genuinely feel like I've peaked in life. I excelled in HS. Top of class. Award winning marching band. Full ride to a decent state school. Helped run some student organizations, did great in classes. I took a total detour post-undergrad for a few years to do service work.

But now I'm in my 30's and 5 years into a "real career". I work long days in Operations at a tech marketplace. It's fun problems and I like working with data/product, but it hardly feels like I've living up to the potential I had thrown on me earlier in life. I'm far from the top 1% performer I was in High School / College.

I play a lot of video games and read a never-ending stream of miscellaneous articles. I go to the gym a few days a week and . Maybe once a month I pull out my guitar. I checked off my "adult" milestones -- Married and have a house. But seems like lots of days I just wake up, work, then stare at a TV. It's not all bad -- But reading this list and the failure to start, so many possibilities but I never do anything idea just rings true to me.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#417

Post by DoingSomeThings »

Cthulhu_ wrote: post #79
moonchrome wrote: post #4

So either the author has a midlife crisis or they genuinely hate where they are in life. TBH, since they have no family/commitment and sound like they dislike where they got in life - I'd say discard the image of yourself and start doing radical things moving forward, sounds like a no lose situation to me, worst case scenario you die doing something risky - but that always sounded better to me than surviving in a hol…

The author seems to on the one hand have a lot of ambitions, but on the other a case of ADHD (or modern-day tech-caused attention deficit) where they end up hyperfocused down a rabbit hole on a regular basis. I have no answers for that, because even medication probably won't make people focus on their mid- to long-term goals. That said, being a New Yorker writer, theater troupe, and all the other things they mentione…

This is an interesting description of ADHD. I've long wondered if I met the diagnosis. I have an incredibly difficult time knocking out small tasks, but very prone to hyperfocused rabbit holes. They're just generally rabbit holes about topics totally unrelated to me "real" responsibilites, job, etc.

Is that actually a part of adhd? Obv not asking for a diagnosis online, but curious about the phenomenon.

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#418

Post by DoingSomeThings »

powersnail wrote: post #29

My disillusionment is not on a personal level, but rather, on a societal level. I thought that I would become successful enough to, well, make a lot of differences in how the society works. Now being an actual part of the society, I don't see how I could accomplish any of my childhood ambitions. Even if I'm 20x richer, with a much higher social status, they are beyond me. I suppose that the younger version of me have…

A small note - This podcast with Amanda Litman of "Run For Something" was inspiring for me. I know you aspired to make big change. But I wonder if running for a local political office would help scratch that itch? Those roles have direct impact on the lives of your neighbors, and don't have to be full-time gigs. There's whole orgs that provide resources to help make it happen.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/02/01/opinion/ezra-klein-podcas... https://runforsomething.net/

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#419

Post by powersnail »

DoingSomeThings wrote: post #418
powersnail wrote: post #29

My disillusionment is not on a personal level, but rather, on a societal level. I thought that I would become successful enough to, well, make a lot of differences in how the society works. Now being an actual part of the society, I don't see how I could accomplish any of my childhood ambitions. Even if I'm 20x richer, with a much higher social status, they are beyond me. I suppose that the younger version of me have…

A small note - This podcast with Amanda Litman of "Run For Something" was inspiring for me. I know you aspired to make big change. But I wonder if running for a local political office would help scratch that itch? Those roles have direct impact on the lives of your neighbors, and don't have to be full-time gigs. There's whole orgs that provide resources to help make it happen. https://www.nytimes.com/2022/02/01/opini…

Actually, I really do plan on running for something once I'm eligible! (Currently on a visa, though)

Re: I thought I’d have accomplished a lot more today and also before I was 35 (2020)

#420

Post by looshch »

GuardianCaveman wrote: post #176
Draiken wrote: post #135

This is always a tough subject for me because everyone seems to have at least an idea of what they want to achieve. When I was younger I had these silly dreams of moving to another country, getting married, becoming a programmer to make games, have my own company and get rich (haha). I did become a programmer and got married, but never left the country or became rich. Now on my 30s I know how limited my options are.…

What the point? Exceed your potential. Set goals like becoming rich, climb a mountain, start your company, fail many times if it takes it. Take 6 months off for around the world travel. You said you dont have the drive as before. That’s your choice. Drive is something we can choose and cultivate. If you’re happy the way you are then that’s one thing but I for one am not going to lean on my insignificance when compare…

> Drive is something we can choose and cultivate

oh really? How one can cultivate drive if she, for example, has had several burnouts from what she used to had a drive for and it was the only thing that ever interested her for whole life? Or if he reached the ‘plateau of sustainability’ and just bored and, again, it was the only activity that kept him from strong suicidal thoughts? There is a possible case when someone just don’t give a shit about nothing through his life, what’s then? Cultivate a drive along with unstoppable thoughts continuously going to your head like ‘There is no point in absolutely anything’. And please, don’t confuse these examples with psychological diseases

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