They can have whatever values/virtues/etc that they pleaseSure---but how society responds to a woman's choice is a collective act that she has little control over. Nothing in my comment suggested putting women in a box, exactly the opposite. It's a spectrum, where not all men adopt masculine values and not all women adopt feminine ones. There are women who relate more to what are thought of as masculine values, like fighter pilots, and it's great that society is increasingly accepting of them. But just saying women can join the men's club is not real social change. Real social change is respecting values that are not typically associated with men. Values revolving around love and human relationships, for instance, rather than violence and mechanics.
Ask yourself why the military came to mind as an exemplary set of values for the modern woman. I'd suggest that it is because you regard military service as a desirable epitome of masculinity, and if women can achieve that same peak, then they can be regarded as equals in society. But to your own point about choice, even if no women choose to join the military, we should have female heroes who are regarded on par with any male war hero.