Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

You are not your job

jry.io

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

401–410 of 443 posts

Re: You are not your job

#401

Post by MiiMe19 »

asdff wrote: post #373
Tor3 wrote: post #176

The focus on "what you do" is very US-centric (or possibly North American). When you meet someone then one of the very first things asked is "what do you do" or something to that extent. What your job is. But it's not like that at all elsewhere in the world. It varies a lot. I myself never ask that question, unless it's for a very specific reason. And _never_ as part of an introduction. I've known people for decades…

Americans have this culture of killing the individual in adulthood I've noticed. It seemingly starts with parenthood. Parents are sold the myth that they ought to have no time for themselves, that they ought to drop all their hobbies and anything that made them them, and turn into this machine that either works or putts around with the baby the whole time. The idea of childcare or babysitter seen as "missing out." Th…

I don't have enough energy and am not skilled enough to write a rude enough hate comment to respond to this, so just imagine I did.

Re: You are not your job

#403

Post by elevation »

serial_dev wrote: post #206
helloplanets wrote: post #153

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> We are in fact very disposable and replaceable. To your friends and family as well? Or just your employer? You're describing things that may well be true for a lot of employers, but fall apart outside of that context.

For some rare once-in-a-lifetime friendships, you are not disposable, and if anything were to happen to you, you would be missed. I can count those on one hand. For most casual acquaintances (that some people incorrectly label as friends), it's certainly true. On the family's side: only parents, siblings, children, maybe some aunt or grandparent. Second distant cousin you saw 3 times in life?

> For most casual acquaintances

You may feel this way, but it feels a lot different when you learn that one of your acquaintances has died.

I enjoyed a brief intellectual conversation with a professor at the end of a semester. When I returned the next academic year, I stopped by his office for a quick chat, but his name was no longer on the door. The department administrator told me "Oh, he's no longer with us."

My heart sunk. I didn't know him well, he may not have remembered my name, but I wanted to thank him, and now he was gone. Cut down in his prime? He was just an acquaintance to me, he was not my friend. But I still felt that shock and grief deeply.

I asked the administrator how he'd died, and she quickly clarified: he was still alive! He had just been a guest lecturer visiting for one semester from a Scandinavian university and had now returned home. This has taught me not to delay expressing my gratitude for the acquaintances in my life.

Re: You are not your job

#404

Post by jryio »

aanet wrote: post #369

I was prepared for another fluffy post... But this resonated with me 100% > The people who love you don't love you because you're good at your job. They love you because of something else entirely. Maybe it's your humor. Maybe it's that you actually listen. Maybe it's that you remember things about their lives and ask about them. Maybe it's simply that you show up. You're present. You don't extract a conversation and…

Thanks for the great feedback. There's a link to find some time when you're passing through. Otherwise shoot me an email! Cheers.

Re: You are not your job

#405

Post by pnt12 »

> You are not your job

Fully agreed.

>You're beginning to feel less-than-useful.

Nope, not at all. Or maybe I do feel a bit useless against the AI slop and FOMO that gets pushed around. But the field is still gonna need engineers to do the non-slop work, or to fix it when it goes wrong.

(I use AI daily BTW.)

As someone said: AI will take our jobs when the execs are able to state their requirements precisely. We're safe!

Re: You are not your job

#406

Post by turtlesdown11 »

abcde666777 wrote: post #122

Being able to see ourselves as something beyond our job (our means of survival) is a luxury. If a person can't provide for themselves the rest goes out the window fast. The only way to ease the anxiety in people isn't with fluff about their 'human worth', but rather to help them envision other tangible and plausible ways in which they can provide for themselves. The cold reality, in my opinion, is that the things we…

[flagged]

Re: You are not your job

#407

Post by brailsafe »

elevation wrote: post #403
serial_dev wrote: post #206

Earlier quoted context omitted.

For some rare once-in-a-lifetime friendships, you are not disposable, and if anything were to happen to you, you would be missed. I can count those on one hand. For most casual acquaintances (that some people incorrectly label as friends), it's certainly true. On the family's side: only parents, siblings, children, maybe some aunt or grandparent. Second distant cousin you saw 3 times in life?

> For most casual acquaintances You may feel this way, but it feels a lot different when you learn that one of your acquaintances has died. I enjoyed a brief intellectual conversation with a professor at the end of a semester. When I returned the next academic year, I stopped by his office for a quick chat, but his name was no longer on the door. The department administrator told me "Oh, he's no longer with us." My h…

There's a been a few similar instances in my life that have led me take up the personal practice of "Always say hi or wave to friend when the chance comes around, because there may not be a next time". It came about because I tend to see a lot of close friends and looser acquaintances on a day to day basis physically in the world, and there used to be more times than not where I wouldn't bother crossing the street or stopping for a minute to chat. Later I realized this costs me almost nothing, and even for less-close relationships, I'd prefer to have put in the tiny amount of effort to walk up and show them they're worth even that much before they overdosed or moved away or committed suicide. It's not always opportune, but what else is life for?

Granted, in retrospect, there's not really ever a sufficient amount of interaction you could have had, but if I see someone inside a cafe that I'm walking past, it's worth popping in and at least saying hi or waving from outside.

Re: You are not your job

#408

Post by joquarky »

This advice is not as useful if you have a high ACE score and have been severely conditioned to not trust people.

The tech industry used to be a refuge for analytical people who have severe social anxiety, but now it has been completely overrun by gold rush bros.

Re: You are not your job

#409

Post by henry2023 »

SkyeCA wrote: post #290
namelessone wrote: post #278

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That depends a lot on your social circles, no? I’ve met plenty of people who never cared about or knew my job title or salary, and whose job titles and salaries I never cared about or knew.

I've been in circles where I thought it didn't matter and I've had people in my life who I thought didn't care...and then they find out (because good luck hiding the thing you do for 40+ hours a week) and the relationships permanently change.

If life is a game, are you playing it right?

Re: You are not your job

#410

Post by nuancebydefault »

> But warmth. Empathy. The ability to sit with someone in their confusion and make them feel understood. The ability to crack a joke at exactly the right moment and remind someone that they're not alone. The capacity to be fully present with another person, to see them not as a role they're playing but as a whole human being… that cannot be automated away and hopefully never will.

To me, that describes for me a human capability that is often overlooked but is in fact at our core. All the rest is almost futile in comparison.

Post reply on HN