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STFU

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Re: STFU

#401

Post by stavros »

onethought wrote: post #382
pseudosavant wrote: post #345

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've recently become a convert to this kind of thinking. The person invited the public to join in when they decided to have a public speakerphone call. If they don't want my responses or laughter, they get annoyed and stop the behavior I was finding annoying in the first place. I don't even have to act like I'm bothered by it, or that I find their behavior offensive. They change their behavior because they are bother…

How is that different than two people talking in person? Do you interrupt them as well?

Do you think having your conversation on speakerphone in public is the same as talking to someone?

Re: STFU

#402

Post by sergiomattei »

connorgurney wrote: post #31

I might be in a minority saying this - and particularly so here on HN - but I struggle to understand why you'd be willing to use a tool like this, as OP did, but not to politely ask someone to keep it down?

Seriously, this is as easy as tapping the dude next door and telling him to tone that volume down.

Negative social skills on that Twitter thread

Re: STFU

#403

Post by stavros »

nailer wrote: post #371
jcbe wrote: post #340

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Kind of a funny day to post this (WMATA just released data showing crime rates at a 25-year low)

I have do idea about DC but I don't trust crime rate stats - a lot might be unreported. In NYC last year someone burnt someone else to death while they sat, relaxed and watched, and in a seperate incident a person died died and someone else had sex with them afterwards. It could that be crime is lower or it could be that insane brutality has become normalized.

But do you have reason to believe that crime is reported less often now than in the past?

Re: STFU

#404

Post by sergiomattei »

user- wrote: post #35
connorgurney wrote: post #31

I might be in a minority saying this - and particularly so here on HN - but I struggle to understand why you'd be willing to use a tool like this, as OP did, but not to politely ask someone to keep it down?

I mean, he took a picture of the guy posted it on his twitter calling him a 'fat uncle'. I don't think he cares about being polite.

Real courageous from that guy calling someone a "fat uncle" on a Twitter thread. Could've applied that same energy IRL and told him to tone it down.

Re: STFU

#405

Post by inlined »

indrora wrote: post #385
athenot wrote: post #143

This is a fun app. One way I deal with people talking on speakerphone, is inviting myself into their conversation and making comments as if I were an active participant. That usually earns me a weird look, and then they go off speaker so I can't hear what's been said. Success. Similar with folks watching reels on speaker, I fake a laugh or make comments about the content. It's awkward enough that they usually stop be…

A friend of mine works AV at shows that have rotating DJs and one of the things she has on her mixer board is "The Suck Button." It causes a mic at the other end of the room to get cut into the DJ's live feed monitor with a semitone shift down and some reverb. This causes all sorts of inner-ear chaos and usually clears a DJ off the stage when they're over time within a few minutes at most -- usually under 30 seconds.…

There was a coffee shop ages ago in SF that would every few hours play a cacophony (e.g. multiple songs at once). I assume it was to drive away people camping on their laptops to rotate tables. Understand but super annoying to people like me who had a timer to but food or drink no less than hourly to be a good citizen

Re: STFU

#406

Post by prmoustache »

devin wrote: post #107
tra3 wrote: post #28

In the style of cheap tiktoks: "There are two types of people...". My wife loves listening to her phone on max volume, but it sounds so bad compared to half decent speakers. Also what's up with the people hiking (by themselves) with a bluetooth speaker. You're by yourself, in nature. If you want to listen to music wear headphones!! Also why are people using speaker phones in public places at max volume. The speaker i…

I am with you on speakers on a nature hike, but I think the line blurs a bit in a city context. As long as it's not extremely loud, I find it slightly more difficult to hate on the person playing some music and moderate volume while trucks and loud motorcycles go by. If we had less of a car culture, I might feel differently about it, but there's so much noise already that in that context I kind of shrug my shoulders…

TLDR it feels better to announce yourself with some (non aggressive) music than triggering a bell.

I wouldn't use that when hiking but it is true that I sometimes use a bluetooth speaker when riding my bicycle in the city.

I don't put it at full volume but a lot of pedestrians and their dog seem to be attracted by dedicated bicycle lanes when they are built on the same level as the sidewalk. It is a good way to warn people of my presence without using a bell. Using a bell sometimes sounds a bit rude because people associate it to the use of the car horn which has become a proxy for insults instead of the warning device it used to be.

[1] I used to think pedestrians were doing it to annoy cyclists on purpose but judging by their often suprised reaction. I think it is just an unconscious behavior. Apart from bicycle lanes which aren't well marked, it is probably because the bicycle lanes are usually a smoother surface and thus more agreeable to the feet than the sidewalk thus people tend to walk on them natually.

Re: STFU

#407

Post by sublinear »

closewith wrote: post #384
sublinear wrote: post #380

Earlier quoted context omitted.

And there it is. It's exactly as I suspected. The only people spreading the toxic advice about HR are the ones who benefit most from making the workplace suck for everyone else. I can only hope you just think HR is there to insulate you this way and haven't had to test it, because it simply isn't. You really don't want to be on the losing end of a wrongful termination suit. It's only because people rarely bother that…

HR insulates me and the rest of the heavy hitters from people like you. It's a Godsend, obviously. Surveilling co-workers in the bathroom is more than sufficient grounds for dismissal - gross misconduct.

It's obviously not surveillance, and if it's as common as OP made it seem everyone already knows.

HR isn't that dumb and doesn't need to find another squealer.

Re: STFU

#408

Post by jraph »

ArnoVW wrote: post #355
pixl97 wrote: post #68

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You mean "As with anything in life it depends on a huge number of variables such as location, number of allies the other person has, the threat potential you represent, the number of allies you have, your standing on the social ladder, if you're in a position of power, your ability to understand social clues, the exact method how you ask, yada yada"

No. It delends on how you ask. Did you walk over? Did you say hi? Did you lower yourself to be around their height? Give them a second or two to get used to you? Tell them first that their noise is loud ? Ask them in a respectable tone if they would lower it, just a bit? Did you give the impression that you were asking, not demanding? Of course I won't ask a drunk or aggressive looking person. But there is a wrong wa…

I'm all for asking nicely in general but it doesn't work well with entitled people who don't give a shit about the people around them.

The chances, regardless how nice you try to ask, that the person who elected to broadcast their tiktoks or calls to the whole wagon at full volume goes "oh, sorry, I'm so embarrassed, I'll turn this off", are very low.

Last time I tried to ask "can you use headphones?", the guy answered "I don't have headphones" and put the volume even louder.

A person who cared even a tiny bit would not have started to begin with. Asking is almost futile. These people simply seem to be used to get away with inflicting themselves to people around without consequences. The worse part is that if you do nothing, you participate in this.

What can you do.

I think it can only work if it becomes very socially unbearable, or if they got fined for this. Or, indeed, if it brought them nuisance. In that regard, this HN post's solution is interesting (not sure it's good though).

Re: STFU

#409

Post by [deleted] »

bonesss wrote: post #167
jonathanstrange wrote: post #130

My personal take is that having phone conversations at normal speaker volume is fine because people also talk amongst each other in public and there is no substantial difference, but watching videos or even listening to music on loud speaker is not okay because it's a public nuisance. However, it seems that the cultural norms differ a lot, I've heard of people who disapprove of almost everything and don't have much s…

There is a substantial difference between people talking amongst themselves and one person on a phone. Humans are social animals, we tune out conversations easily. Half conversations are just one interrupting, attention-grabbing … jarring start … … after … … … … another. It’s a series of unpredictable spontaneous one-sided outbursts, behaviours that otherwise belong to disturbed individuals. Listening to people in th…

[deleted]

Re: STFU

#410

Post by anotherevan »

athenot wrote: post #143

This is a fun app. One way I deal with people talking on speakerphone, is inviting myself into their conversation and making comments as if I were an active participant. That usually earns me a weird look, and then they go off speaker so I can't hear what's been said. Success. Similar with folks watching reels on speaker, I fake a laugh or make comments about the content. It's awkward enough that they usually stop be…

Sidled up next to the guy and said loudly, “Mr Smith? Mr Smith? The mistress is ready for you now!”
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