So you've made a mistake and it's public • Hacker News Board

Re: So you've made a mistake and it's public

#401

Post by aflag » Thu, Nov 19, 2020, 6:16 PM UTC

Supermancho wrote: post #395

aflag wrote: post #126

Earlier quoted context omitted.

He was first elected with a minority and lost the reelection (which is uncommon in USA's history). Quoting the article: > But isn't it true that organization/individual X made a mistake and didn't follow this process at all? > Yes, it's true. And how did that work out?

It worked out fine, imo. The wikipedia page isnt about a popularity contest, per se but I can follow that parallel line of thinking. Trumps behavior hasnt changed before he was elected or after the last election. As PotUS Trumps behavior was a bit less popular than another choice (not a relative landslide like 1984, 1972, 1964, etc). Granted, the political money machines have a lot to do with spinning the viewpoint o…

Regardless of popularity, his strategy of denying his mistakes got him as far as the white house, which I'd say is pretty far, but probably cost him the reelection. Handling your mistakes poorly is not the end, but it does weigh you down more than otherwise. There are better strategies. That's the point.

Re: So you've made a mistake and it's public

#402

Post by [deleted] » Tue, Nov 24, 2020, 7:38 PM UTC

caymanjim wrote: post #79

ChrisMarshallNY wrote: post #8

I like that. I'm quite good at apologizing, because I need to do it so often. I get lots of practice. The American abhorrence for admitting fault and/or apologizing is quite mystifying to me. It's really corrosive. I've spent 40 years, promptly admitting mistakes, and repairing, where possible. WFM. YMMV.

> The American abhorrence for admitting fault and/or apologizing is quite mystifying to me. It's really corrosive. I don't accept this premise. Americans don't have a lot of the cultural baggage that leads to this. If anything, Americans are quick to admit fault and address root causes. We don't have a cultural history of beating around the bush, saving face, deferring to elders who are clearly wrong, etc. Individual…

[deleted]

Re: So you've made a mistake and it's public

#403

Post by filoleg » Wed, Nov 25, 2020, 5:21 PM UTC

mseepgood wrote: post #164

cowpig wrote: post #140

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> if you're actually dealing with a genuine person or group who you've genuinely wronged then a real apology is warranted A pitfall of this mentality, at least in my experience, is that people I hurt are usually much better judges of whether I hurt them than I am. Something I learned that helped is: you can hurt someone without being wrong. "I regret that my actions had this effect on you," is a good place to start a…

> "I regret that my actions had this effect on you," That's just a variation of "I'm sorry you're so impatient" or "It's too bad you have no sense of humor.": https://meta.wikimedia.org/wiki/Apology#Acknowledgment_of_th... https://www.msn.com/en-gb/entertainment/celebrity/people-are...

No, it isn't a variation of those two.

The two you mentioned are bad, because they implicitly shift the fault on the person on the receiving end, because they make qualifying statements about the person without addressing your own actions that led to it at all. Very similar to the badness of "I am sorry you feel that way about what I said", because it only addresses the person on the receiving end and makes it sound like there is something wrong with them.

"I regret that my actions had this effect on you" is not bad because it doesn't do that. It clearly just says that you are sorry for your actions causing such an effect, without making any qualifying statements about the person on the receiving end, leaving the possibility of your actions being wrong fully open.