Get Your Shit Together • Hacker News Board

Re: Get Your Shit Together

#41

Post by jcadam » Tue, May 19, 2015, 4:04 PM UTC

jobu wrote: post #30

pzxc wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There are a few grammatical errors in these documents as well that do not inspire confidence. Also, you better be damn sure that you can trust the person you give power of attorney to -- the document provided here assigns power of attorney immediately, not on incapacitation/death, and allows the person you designate to gift themselves up to $13,000 a year of your own property without your consent. Considering the law…

> Frankly I don't see why the HN crowd would upvote a site like this -- I'd bet it was ring votes that got it to the front page. Or maybe it was just the snarky domain, who knows. My guess is it struck a chord with people similar to myself - young family and minimal EOL planning. (although the snarky domain definitely helps) For us, the biggest problem has been deciding who should take care of the kids if something h…

I'm in a similar situation. The other members of both sides of our family are all either flaky, dirt poor, or too old to take care of our kids.

And one of our children is autistic and will likely need long-term care when she's an adult. Maybe one of our other children will step up when the time comes, but I can't count on that.

My plan is to live forever.

Re: Get Your Shit Together

#42

Post by someear » Tue, May 19, 2015, 4:04 PM UTC

some other general advice from my experiences - make sure you handle the case where you go missing. I know I'm drilling down into a bunch of conditional situations (missing for how long? under what circumstances?), but the last thing you want is to do is leave loved ones in situation where they can't get anything done.

I had a friend who committed suicide, but his body was never found and since there was no note, he was never officially declared dead. Even though that was years ago, his family still doesn't have access to his assets.

Re: Get Your Shit Together

#43

Post by napoleond » Tue, May 19, 2015, 4:06 PM UTC

jobu wrote: post #30

pzxc wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There are a few grammatical errors in these documents as well that do not inspire confidence. Also, you better be damn sure that you can trust the person you give power of attorney to -- the document provided here assigns power of attorney immediately, not on incapacitation/death, and allows the person you designate to gift themselves up to $13,000 a year of your own property without your consent. Considering the law…

> Frankly I don't see why the HN crowd would upvote a site like this -- I'd bet it was ring votes that got it to the front page. Or maybe it was just the snarky domain, who knows. My guess is it struck a chord with people similar to myself - young family and minimal EOL planning. (although the snarky domain definitely helps) For us, the biggest problem has been deciding who should take care of the kids if something h…

In the Roman Catholic tradition, this problem is solved with godparents. I'm not Catholic (and I don't have kids yet), but the model seems to make sense. Forgive me for stepping way beyond the bounds of "internet stranger's business" but if your close friends' lives are so full that they would not care for your children if you became incapacitated, you need better friends.

Re: Get Your Shit Together

#44

Post by aasarava » Tue, May 19, 2015, 4:06 PM UTC

pzxc wrote: post #21

courtewing wrote: post #13

This is great advice all around, but get a local lawyer involved to prepare your will. Even in US, there is not a single set of laws that apply to wills and power of attorney. It varies state by state. With a generic template pulled from the internet, you could just be doing a whole lot of work and ultimately be ending up with a document that has little legal basis. Do your loved ones a favor - hire a lawyer to do it…

There are a few grammatical errors in these documents as well that do not inspire confidence. Also, you better be damn sure that you can trust the person you give power of attorney to -- the document provided here assigns power of attorney immediately, not on incapacitation/death, and allows the person you designate to gift themselves up to $13,000 a year of your own property without your consent. Considering the law…

RE ring votes: There are a suspicious number of one-sentence / add-no-value comments on this all posted about an hour ago.

Re: Get Your Shit Together

#45

Post by vtbassmatt » Tue, May 19, 2015, 4:08 PM UTC

mootothemax wrote: post #36

My father died in extremely unexpected circumstances, and as much as a will would've been handy (understatement of the year), there are other bits that save heartache and frustrated compromise. For example: - do you want to be buried or cremated? And where? Any thoughts on coffin design? - do you want a church service or something else? What songs, how big, as many details as possible. It's morbid stuff, but by writi…

Absolutely +1 to this. My dad also died extremely unexpectedly, and while nothing about the process was easy, having his last wishes known to us was a relief. He and my mom had each prepared a "farewell letter" to the family. My dad's was characteristically brief, poignant, and hilarious - which itself served to make the situation a tiny bit brighter as we could almost imagine him there with us one last time.

And in other news, I still owe him a trip into the Great Smoky Mountains to scatter his ashes.

Re: Get Your Shit Together

#46

Post by __z » Tue, May 19, 2015, 4:11 PM UTC

toomuchtodo wrote: post #29

jrs235 wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Good advice. I think this got upvoted because it offers a monthly email nudge/reminder and hopefully the site/service will stay on top of future issues related to staying on top of keeping your stuff together. But yeah, talk to a lawyer to ensure state specific issues are properly covered/handled.

Something I've always wish the Social Security Administration offered was an executor service of sorts. They're the canonical reference if you're dead or not, so upon my death, I could have configured in their web interface: * who to notify, along with documents for each person (personal letters, etc) * who to turn bank accounts over to * a whole long laundry list of other stuff I have to find someone I trust to do i…

You may set your beneficiary for almost all of your bank accounts and financial accounts. You just have to notify them of your beneficiary. EDIT: This may only be for retirement accounts?

Re: Get Your Shit Together

#47

Post by Red_Tarsius » Tue, May 19, 2015, 4:14 PM UTC

aasarava wrote: post #44

pzxc wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There are a few grammatical errors in these documents as well that do not inspire confidence. Also, you better be damn sure that you can trust the person you give power of attorney to -- the document provided here assigns power of attorney immediately, not on incapacitation/death, and allows the person you designate to gift themselves up to $13,000 a year of your own property without your consent. Considering the law…

RE ring votes: There are a suspicious number of one-sentence / add-no-value comments on this all posted about an hour ago.

I'm the original poster and I'm not affiliated with the author in any way. The core message of OP is not "we offer 100% legalese-proof papers", but "I'm a wake up call, now go and get things done".

Re: Get Your Shit Together

#48

Post by [deleted] » Tue, May 19, 2015, 4:21 PM UTC

mootothemax wrote: post #36

My father died in extremely unexpected circumstances, and as much as a will would've been handy (understatement of the year), there are other bits that save heartache and frustrated compromise. For example: - do you want to be buried or cremated? And where? Any thoughts on coffin design? - do you want a church service or something else? What songs, how big, as many details as possible. It's morbid stuff, but by writi…

[deleted]

Re: Get Your Shit Together

#49

Post by iamthepieman » Tue, May 19, 2015, 4:22 PM UTC

jobu wrote: post #30

pzxc wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

There are a few grammatical errors in these documents as well that do not inspire confidence. Also, you better be damn sure that you can trust the person you give power of attorney to -- the document provided here assigns power of attorney immediately, not on incapacitation/death, and allows the person you designate to gift themselves up to $13,000 a year of your own property without your consent. Considering the law…

> Frankly I don't see why the HN crowd would upvote a site like this -- I'd bet it was ring votes that got it to the front page. Or maybe it was just the snarky domain, who knows. My guess is it struck a chord with people similar to myself - young family and minimal EOL planning. (although the snarky domain definitely helps) For us, the biggest problem has been deciding who should take care of the kids if something h…

There's no easy answer. You just gotta talk with close friends about it.

Taking care of more children would be difficult for my wife and I but I would strongly consider it if we were approached by one of our friends or family members about it.

Our life with 5 kids is already full but we are stable, love each other and have the resources, both emotional and financial to provide for more.

We would have to change our life and make sacrifices but that's what love is all about.

This doesn't really answer your question, it's more about taking care of someone else's children than finding someone to take care of your own. But if you are thinking about these things the other side is that you need to ask yourself if you could make the sacrifice to take in more kids yourself.

My criteria for choosing who would take care of my children are simple:

1. their family is emotionally capable. 2. the family is willing - including both parents and any children they already have.

We're talking about an already incredibly bad situation. My goal wouldn't be to give my kids everything they would have if they still had their parents. It would be to minimize the risk of more horrible things happening to them - abuse, abject poverty etc.

Re: Get Your Shit Together

#50

Post by briandear » Tue, May 19, 2015, 4:22 PM UTC

toomuchtodo wrote: post #29

jrs235 wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Good advice. I think this got upvoted because it offers a monthly email nudge/reminder and hopefully the site/service will stay on top of future issues related to staying on top of keeping your stuff together. But yeah, talk to a lawyer to ensure state specific issues are properly covered/handled.

Something I've always wish the Social Security Administration offered was an executor service of sorts. They're the canonical reference if you're dead or not, so upon my death, I could have configured in their web interface: * who to notify, along with documents for each person (personal letters, etc) * who to turn bank accounts over to * a whole long laundry list of other stuff I have to find someone I trust to do i…

You trust the government to do that? You're braver than I am. I would expect the government would have a great time knowing about everyone's end of life plans. The IRS would certainly love it. I don't trust the government to wash my car let alone ensure my family is protected if I were to die.