Take this personal anecdote for what it is worth. My office used to be next door to a childcare centre looking after around 40 children. I was able to watch what happened throughout the day and what the staff and children did. After a few months I swore no matter what the financial cost I would not let my children ever end up in childcare.
Evidence of Advantages for Children of Working Mothers
41–50 of 69 posts
Re: Evidence of Advantages for Children of Working Mothers
#42"In a new study of 50,000 adults in 25 countries, daughters of working mothers completed more years of education, were more likely to be employed and in supervisory roles and earned higher incomes" - TLDR, children will imitate what you do, not what you tell them to do. This is good for certain values of good (depending on how you define a 'good' adult). The title of the article (Mounting Evidence of Advantages for C…
How about we rephrase this. Daughters of those mothers that earn enough to make putting their children in childcare are more likely to earn more than mothers who's wages are too low to afford childcare. Phrased this way we come to the startling conclusion that the children of the middle class grow up to be middle class. I am shocked.
This doesn't explain why the relationship holds true even in countries with free or heavily subsidized daycare. Or why only daughters are affected, along many variables.
Picked these from the HBS post @ http://www.hbs.edu/news/articles/Pages/mcginn-working-mom.as...
Anyone have a link to the paper?
Re: Evidence of Advantages for Children of Working Mothers
#43I never understood the idea that having mom (or dad) at home is the best thing for kids. When our daughter is at daycare, she's in a very stimulating environment staffed by energetic 22-year olds on 6 hour shifts. When she's at home with me my instinct is to bribe her with some ice cream and park her in front of her iPad. My wife has slightly more desire to engage with the kid, but no more energy for it--she's pretty…
Nobody will care for or about a child more than that child's mother (barring psychological abnormalities in the mother). Father a close second. Even the best daycare is going to devote only a fraction of the instruction/attention to any individual child. If your approach as a parent is to give "the kid" ice cream and electronic distractions, I think you should seriously reevaluate your priorities.
> Nobody will care for or about a child more than that child's mother (barring psychological abnormalities in the mother). Father a close second.
That statement is useless because it is a tautology. If the parents don't care about or for their children (and trust me, many, many don't) according to you by definition they must have a "psychological abnormality." Being a selfish dick is a bad trait but "psychological abnormally" is going quite far. There's plenty of selfish dicks in the world who couldn't give a rat's ass about their children, including deadbeat dads (or moms) and others. Only in an idealistic, fantasy world do parents universally care for and about their children.
Many people who care about their children are very aware they don't have the ability to care for their children. That's a big reason why adoption (family adoption and stranger adoption) exists. The gender role assumption is pretty weird too. Some people have two fathers and an unknown egg donor for example - do these children have less care than someone with two heterosexual parents? Or do two moms trump a mom and a dad?
Re: Evidence of Advantages for Children of Working Mothers
#44Earlier quoted context omitted.
Down voting because the op didn't saying anything about 'cares more about engaging' or 'cares about his daughter'. That's blatant misrepresentation of the what the op did write.
No it is not. I asked a question on how the op thinks a 22 year old paid to look after his daughter is more engaged with her than either him or his wife.
Oh really? Let's examine the text of this post, and one other in this same branch of the thread:
>> I am curious why you think a 22 year old on near minimum wage cares more about engaging with your daughter
>> I am still surprised that rainier thinks that a 22 year old paid to look after his daughter cares more about her than him and his wife.
Maybe that's what you thought, but that's not what you wrote.
Re: Evidence of Advantages for Children of Working Mothers
#45Earlier quoted context omitted.
I have three children aged 10, 9 and 6. I work and my wife stays home with the kids. I don't pretend to know what is right for everyone and their kids but I found your comment oddly disturbing. When I'm home with my three kids, my instinct is to think of the skills that will aid them later in life and work on that through various levels of play. Often that's sports - practicing basketball, baseball or whatever sport…
" ...working with them on crawling, walking, talking and... This amuses me. With things like that (crawling/walking/talking) I let my kid find his own way, in his own time. I have no intention of helping him with anything like it, or from school, ever - unless he asks . What I do do with my son is play. Building radio control cars. Jumping on car hoods/bonnets in a scrapyard. Lego. Jumping in puddles. Flying kites. M…
Play might just be the natural (path of least resistance) way for children to learn. Play is not something that is overly scheduled. We don't have to make a curriculum for it. We don't have to track their play-progress. It's just something that kids tend to do.
Then well-meaning adults think to themselves, "how can I optimize this child's development? How can I make every hour spent with him be at least 70% utilized in order for him to develop fully? What can I do to make him better than my friends kids, and especially to avoid becoming an underachiever?"
Maybe children know best how to play. And indirectly know what's the path of least resistance for them to learn about themselves and the world.
Disclaimer: IANAP
Re: Evidence of Advantages for Children of Working Mothers
#46Earlier quoted context omitted.
How about we rephrase this. Daughters of those mothers that earn enough to make putting their children in childcare are more likely to earn more than mothers who's wages are too low to afford childcare. Phrased this way we come to the startling conclusion that the children of the middle class grow up to be middle class. I am shocked.
This doesn't explain why the relationship holds true even in countries with free or heavily subsidized daycare. Or why only daughters are affected, along many variables. Picked these from the HBS post @ http://www.hbs.edu/news/articles/Pages/mcginn-working-mom.as... Anyone have a link to the paper?
Even when childcare is heavily subsidised it use will still be dominated by the middle classes. If you are unemployed why go to the effort to cart the children you love down to some strangers even if you don't have to pay anything.
Re: Evidence of Advantages for Children of Working Mothers
#47Earlier quoted context omitted.
This doesn't explain why the relationship holds true even in countries with free or heavily subsidized daycare. Or why only daughters are affected, along many variables. Picked these from the HBS post @ http://www.hbs.edu/news/articles/Pages/mcginn-working-mom.as... Anyone have a link to the paper?
Even when childcare is heavily subsidised it use will still be dominated by the middle classes. If you are unemployed why go to the effort to cart the children you love down to some strangers even if you don't have to pay anything.
You were talking about low wage mothers, I responded to that. They are anyway more numerous than unemployed-for-reasons-unrelated-to-parenting mothers. (This can also make financial sense to subsidize, as otherwise they'll have a larger probability to go unemployed and permanently fall out of workfroce later when kids go to school)
Re: Evidence of Advantages for Children of Working Mothers
#48Are there any studies on working father's impact on children? (A quick google returns a few studies on father's impact but not working ones specifically.)
Damned if you do, damned if you don't. If you work, you're a neglectful parent. If you don't, you're sucking off the state. (UK stereotypes)
I have done the 3 main variants of parent-work balance (staying at home, working at home, working out of the home) with my 2 children and I'm not convinced that any one is better than the other, personally. But what does one little anecdote mean in the grand scheme of things...
Re: Evidence of Advantages for Children of Working Mothers
#49I never understood the idea that having mom (or dad) at home is the best thing for kids. When our daughter is at daycare, she's in a very stimulating environment staffed by energetic 22-year olds on 6 hour shifts. When she's at home with me my instinct is to bribe her with some ice cream and park her in front of her iPad. My wife has slightly more desire to engage with the kid, but no more energy for it--she's pretty…
I have three children aged 10, 9 and 6. I work and my wife stays home with the kids. I don't pretend to know what is right for everyone and their kids but I found your comment oddly disturbing. When I'm home with my three kids, my instinct is to think of the skills that will aid them later in life and work on that through various levels of play. Often that's sports - practicing basketball, baseball or whatever sport…
Micromanaging your children's lives is not doing them any good. They need alone free time and boredom to truly thrive and develop creativity. I think someone who has their life constantly guided by a parent will probably develop anxiety once the parent isn't there to guide them through life.
Re: Evidence of Advantages for Children of Working Mothers
#50Earlier quoted context omitted.
No it is not. I asked a question on how the op thinks a 22 year old paid to look after his daughter is more engaged with her than either him or his wife.
Oh really? Let's examine the text of this post, and one other in this same branch of the thread: >> I am curious why you think a 22 year old on near minimum wage cares more about engaging with your daughter >> I am still surprised that rainier thinks that a 22 year old paid to look after his daughter cares more about her than him and his wife. Maybe that's what you thought, but that's not what you wrote.
We have a statement from rainier that a 22 year paid to look after his daughter is more engaged with her than either him or his wife. What motivation does this 22 year old have for being more engaged than him and his wife? This is what I mean by cares.