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The days are long but the decades are short

blog.samaltman.com

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Re: The days are long but the decades are short

#41

Post by japhyr »

samsolomon wrote: post #3

Those of you on HN that are past the 30+ mark. What would you add to this list?

Work towards being satisfied, rather than being happy.

Happiness is fleeting; satisfaction is lasting. We all need to play and just be happy - I'm not arguing against that. But longer term, I've often felt we're better off figuring out what makes us satisfied at the end of each day. When I'm on my deathbed, I want to be satisfied with the way I spent my life. I know that my "deathbed" could come today, or it could come 50+ years from now. That's a wild range.

Re: The days are long but the decades are short

#42

Post by innguest »

MrZongle2 wrote: post #25
sz4kerto wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Having a child relativizes everything else and makes life so much easier because you don't need to figure out the meaning of your life anymore and you don't even need to be successful, neither personally nor professionally. This does not mean you won't be or you can't be, it just does not matter that much anymore. And this is friggin' liberating.

Father of two here. It's true that having a child forces any responsible adult into revisiting their priorities, and some things that seemed important before parenthood suddenly aren't . I don't think it eliminates a desire to be successful: I think that it changes the parameters by which you determine success. And having a child throw up/mess on your nice clothes and shower the inside of your nice car with food and…

> It is worth it, and anybody without kids who says otherwise knows not of which they speak.

That's some gross generalization. Any childless bachelor could know what the "path" is like by staying over with a friend that has a child and helping out for some time.

On the other hand, parents that walk the path and later find out they're not cut out for it, have to suffer quietly, and can't voice their true opinions, because it's taboo; because no one can dare fathom someone might not like kids, and so many get pressured into having them without having what it takes.

Re: The days are long but the decades are short

#46

Post by sz4kerto »

mikeg8 wrote: post #24
sz4kerto wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Having a child relativizes everything else and makes life so much easier because you don't need to figure out the meaning of your life anymore and you don't even need to be successful, neither personally nor professionally. This does not mean you won't be or you can't be, it just does not matter that much anymore. And this is friggin' liberating.

I have an amazing father and grandfathers, all of whom I am close with. I've dreamed of being a father for many years (26M) and think I'll make a great one someday based on the examples I was fortunate enough to have. But I don't like the thought that as soon as you have a child, you instantly have to be defined by that. Is reproduction really the meaning to life? (Biologists say absolutely). And saying you don't hav…

> But I don't like the thought that as soon as you have a child, you instantly have to be defined by that.

I'm glad you brought this up. There's nothing that's forced upon you, you are not defined by this. It just happens so that most people change their priorities voluntarily and happily when they have a child.

I personally continue pursuing professional success, of course. The difference is that if I become unsuccessful for any reason then the world won't collapse. So it just becomes much less important.

Re: The days are long but the decades are short

#48

Post by petercooper »

sz4kerto wrote: post #9
samsolomon wrote: post #3

Those of you on HN that are past the 30+ mark. What would you add to this list?

Having a child relativizes everything else and makes life so much easier because you don't need to figure out the meaning of your life anymore and you don't even need to be successful, neither personally nor professionally. This does not mean you won't be or you can't be, it just does not matter that much anymore. And this is friggin' liberating.

it just does not matter that much anymore.

I don't want to slam your well put, positive point, but this was not true for me at least. Getting married and having kids has motivated me to work hard and aim high - I could have (and did) sat around on my ass playing video games for the rest of my life. Different strokes for different folks, but I'm a far more driven person after gaining responsibilities than before.

Re: The days are long but the decades are short

#49

Post by magic_beans »

sz4kerto wrote: post #9
samsolomon wrote: post #3

Those of you on HN that are past the 30+ mark. What would you add to this list?

Having a child relativizes everything else and makes life so much easier because you don't need to figure out the meaning of your life anymore and you don't even need to be successful, neither personally nor professionally. This does not mean you won't be or you can't be, it just does not matter that much anymore. And this is friggin' liberating.

I can't tell if this makes me excited for parenthood or terrified of the demise it will bring to my own life.

Re: The days are long but the decades are short

#50

Post by ionforce »

JoeAltmaier wrote: post #33

I was 5 minutes late to work every morning, because of taking my son to school in the neighborhood where our new house was being built. I didn't want him to have to move schools in the middle of the year. Boss said "This won't do. You'll have to examine your priorities." I thought about it all day, that night. Next morning I got to work (5 minutes late), went in his office, said "I examined my priorities. Work is #12…

What a douchey boss.
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