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Do engineers really make better spouses?

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Re: Do engineers really make better spouses?

#41

Post by onion2k »

zelos wrote: post #7

"The article also purports that the higher level of communication inherent in engineering jobs may be vital. A healthy communication in a marriage is vital for its survival." Yeah, us software engineers are renowned for our communication skills.

Communication in a relationship is eminently hackable. On the first month 'anniversary' of seeing my girlfriend I bought her a book (one she'd mentioned wanting to read) and wrote a couple of lines in the front about how well it was going. From there on we've bought each other a book every month and written a short note in the front. We've been seeing each other for almost three years without any 'communication problems'. There are advantages to this approach - namely we get time to think about what to write and we both get lots of books.

The fact you're not great at vocalising your feelings on the spot (something I am definitely not good at) shouldn't be a barrier to communicating. You just have to find an approach that works for you.

Re: Do engineers really make better spouses?

#43

Post by scoggs »

xexers wrote: post #40
zelos wrote: post #7

"The article also purports that the higher level of communication inherent in engineering jobs may be vital. A healthy communication in a marriage is vital for its survival." Yeah, us software engineers are renowned for our communication skills.

I suppose engineers do tend to be direct and to the point. I can't think of any engineers that are manipulative in social situations.

I think this is something I laughed at at first and then very suddenly realized it's actually probably one of the bigger points driving home the lower divorce %'s for engineers. If you can initially put up with the courting of an engineer and you are willing to marry them then you are prepared for their pragmatic and direct approach to almost every situation. Honestly, after being young and playing the run around game that sounds absolutely refreshing.

Re: Do engineers really make better spouses?

#44

Post by [deleted] »

pconner wrote: post #19
zelos wrote: post #7

"The article also purports that the higher level of communication inherent in engineering jobs may be vital. A healthy communication in a marriage is vital for its survival." Yeah, us software engineers are renowned for our communication skills.

You do need good communication skills to be an effective software engineer.

[deleted]

Re: Do engineers really make better spouses?

#45

Post by MollyR »

UnoriginalGuy wrote: post #29
Fuxy wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If I had to guess I would say it's the cause of 2 factors: 1.Certain professions attract certain personality types so you won't see a lot of extroverted social people choosing engineering as their profession Extroverts social as they are will always have more options and are less likely to stick around if things get sour. 2.Financial stability means that even if the woman is unhappy in the relationship she is more li…

> 2.Financial stability means that even if the woman is unhappy in the relationship she is more likely to stick around because it offers stability. There's so many assumptions made in that sentence... 1) Women care about money more than happiness 2) Engineers are awash with money 3) Women aren't engineers 4) Men are engineers.

After I got fired from my first job, I had to move back in with my parents because I couldn't pay my rent, and . . . it was miserable.

I was forced to care about financial issues over my own happiness.

Money matters. Money matters to everyone.

Re: Do engineers really make better spouses?

#46

Post by dhimes »

GFK_of_xmaspast wrote: post #35
ckozlowski wrote: post #4

If you look at the Myers-Briggs personality types listed at TypeLogic, you'll see for the INTJ type (most often associated with engineering types) as being said to often "Work at" a relationship. This is, I know, a weak argument at best, but I would toss out as something to ponder that perhaps there's a higher incidence of analytic types to dissect and improve their relationship. ...or simply inclined to remain with…

If you look at the Zodiac, most engineers are earth signs, and you know how hard it is to get along with them.

So that your point is not lost:

http://skepdic.com/myersb.html

Re: Do engineers really make better spouses?

#47

Post by meric »

tormeh wrote: post #21
Disruptive_Dave wrote: post #13

I'm reminded of a scene from Scrubs where Turk tells JD: "I love how kids of divorced parents swear they have the market cornered on family dysfunction...". Point being - I don't view "not divorced" as a significant metric for a successful / happy marriage.

With a few exceptions, divorced marriages are all moderately unsuccessful marriages. The truly horrible marriages are the ones that last, but shouldn't.

Exceptions: Parent suicide, Parent murder + prison, Divorced parent suicide, Divorced parent assault + prison, Divorced parent murder + prison.

And particularly horrible ones:

Parent murder + no prison, Divorced parent murder + no prison.

Re: Do engineers really make better spouses?

#48

Post by eloff »

UnoriginalGuy wrote: post #29
Fuxy wrote: post #20

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If I had to guess I would say it's the cause of 2 factors: 1.Certain professions attract certain personality types so you won't see a lot of extroverted social people choosing engineering as their profession Extroverts social as they are will always have more options and are less likely to stick around if things get sour. 2.Financial stability means that even if the woman is unhappy in the relationship she is more li…

> 2.Financial stability means that even if the woman is unhappy in the relationship she is more likely to stick around because it offers stability. There's so many assumptions made in that sentence... 1) Women care about money more than happiness 2) Engineers are awash with money 3) Women aren't engineers 4) Men are engineers.

Nevertheless those assumptions are true more than false, which is what matters if you want to make broad sweeping statements about a diverse population. Well I don't think #1 is true, but it's also a straw man. Women do care about money and stability, surprisingly much depending on the culture.

Re: Do engineers really make better spouses?

#49

Post by ryan-allen »

GFK_of_xmaspast wrote: post #35
ckozlowski wrote: post #4

If you look at the Myers-Briggs personality types listed at TypeLogic, you'll see for the INTJ type (most often associated with engineering types) as being said to often "Work at" a relationship. This is, I know, a weak argument at best, but I would toss out as something to ponder that perhaps there's a higher incidence of analytic types to dissect and improve their relationship. ...or simply inclined to remain with…

If you look at the Zodiac, most engineers are earth signs, and you know how hard it is to get along with them.

INFP engineer chiming in. While MBTI is not scientifically credible, nor is Freudian psychoanalysis but it was a big deal in it's time. But hey, you're a fire sign.

You can't throw the baby out with the bathwater, and while we're at it, check out the FFM [1], it's got stats and everything!

[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Five_personality_traits

Re: Do engineers really make better spouses?

#50

Post by emodendroket »

Disruptive_Dave wrote: post #13

I'm reminded of a scene from Scrubs where Turk tells JD: "I love how kids of divorced parents swear they have the market cornered on family dysfunction...". Point being - I don't view "not divorced" as a significant metric for a successful / happy marriage.

While not all unhappy marriages end in divorce, it's at least safe to say that almost all marriages ending in divorce were not happy.
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