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Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

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Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#41

Post by mikeash »

beenpoor wrote: post #28
ihsw wrote: post #5

* Say no. * Forward copies of emails to the company's leadership/HR department. * Keep printed copies of the emails handy in case he decides to retaliate with lawyers. * Keep your own legal counsel on speed-dial. * Move on with your life. There's not much you can do from a legal standpoint, with regards to grievance/redress. Escalating the situation through contacting his boss/HR carries a risk, even though you have…

Seriously ? All for asking her on a date ? I don't see any harassment or any kind of quid pro quo. Mistakes happen all the time.

What's wrong with what he suggested? The only active measure he proposed is telling the guy's bosses. Surely that's appropriate for a mistake. The rest is just stuff to keep in mind in the event that it turns out not to be a mistake.

Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#42

Post by bhayden »

ihsw wrote: post #5

* Say no. * Forward copies of emails to the company's leadership/HR department. * Keep printed copies of the emails handy in case he decides to retaliate with lawyers. * Keep your own legal counsel on speed-dial. * Move on with your life. There's not much you can do from a legal standpoint, with regards to grievance/redress. Escalating the situation through contacting his boss/HR carries a risk, even though you have…

I'm not sure responding at all to the man in question is appropriate. She needs to sever contact.

Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#43

Post by moonka »

beenpoor wrote: post #18

I will go out on my limb here. It was a mistake on his part. See if you are willing to let him go with a caution. I know everyone is crying for blood and it is justified. Going to HR will likely ruin his resume for life (possibly).

> In the email, he actually admitted what he was doing wasn't ok.

He knows it's wrong and did it anyways. I don't think I'd consider that a mistake.

Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#44

Post by justin66 »

borski wrote: post #11
mikeash wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Real men do not abuse a position of power to pressure women into accepting a date.

Not trying to cause a stir, but where does it say he pressured her? I read it as "he asked me out on a date," not "he told me if I didn't go on a date with him he wouldn't hire me and he'd kill my firstborn." She had already not gotten the job. Not saying this is ok, but it doesn't sound like much pressure was applied.

> She had already not gotten the job.

That's part of the point. If it were okay to ask a job candidate out after an interview, the incentive for an unscrupulous interviewer who encounters an attractive candidate is to scuttle the interview so he can ask the candidate out later on.

That's just part of why this behavior is so highly objectionable.

Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#45

Post by woof »

I don't see the drama, but then again I'm a guy (40+). If he just waited a few weeks with that second mail, we could hardly fault him for being unprofessional could we?

I don't believe she would have gotten then job with another interviewer (the "more experience" part sounds plausible).

And if she was a really interesting candidate, another tech screen or phone interview would be natural.

I'd tell any friend to say "thanks, but no thanks" and move on.

(If he's that creepy, he'd get her the job and hit on her then)

Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#46

Post by cglee »

codeduck wrote: post #17
slantedview wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yet somehow this guy wormed his way into interviewing her. Someone let that happen, and someone gave this guy interviewing responsibilities.

Small company, he's a programmer - primary interviewer is busy (something came up) - asks another technical person to cover for him. Happens all the time in startups / small companies.

Question isn't if it happens all the time in small companies. What's under discussion is whether this is what we want in our (the startup/tech) industry, whether this is ok, or if there's something we should try to do about it.

First step is awareness, then next step is recognizing there's a problem. Your comment stops at the first step.

Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#47

Post by kelukelugames »

archagon wrote: post #6
RDeckard wrote: post #4

I see nothing wrong with what he did. She was not hired for objective reasons. The fact that he asked her out after is completely orthogonal. Are there any MEN left on HN?

OK, I was willing to at least entertain your comment until that last sentence there. As a bona-fide MAN on HN, the anecdote reads as extremely slimy to me. And it's pretty clear that women have to deal with this kind of BS constantly.

His phrasing definitely can be improved. But a lot of people in the reddit thread are incorrect. There is a difference between what is illegal and what is slimy. What the interviewer did is inappropriate but there is no proof that discrimination occurred.

I think it's unethical to hit on co-workers, direct reports and especially interviewees, but there are two people on my team who met their spouses during an interview at previous companies.

Edit: I don't understand the downvotes. The people asking her to lawyer up do not understand employment law. Unethical behavior doesn't automatically mean it's illegal. The definition for discrimination is pretty strict. Unless you can prove the interviewer has a pattern of rejecting female candidates and then asking them for dates then there is no case here.

The other point I wanted to make is there are people who date their interviewers. Does that mean it's not sketchy? No. But the success stories serve as encouragement for this kind of behavior.

Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#48

Post by bhayden »

beenpoor wrote: post #18

I will go out on my limb here. It was a mistake on his part. See if you are willing to let him go with a caution. I know everyone is crying for blood and it is justified. Going to HR will likely ruin his resume for life (possibly).

Going to HR about this will not ruin his career. His harassment and unprofessionalism will ruin his career.

Re: Best way to handle interviewer asking me out on a date after tech screen?

#49

Post by beenpoor »

pm90 wrote: post #34
beenpoor wrote: post #28

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Seriously ? All for asking her on a date ? I don't see any harassment or any kind of quid pro quo. Mistakes happen all the time.

Its not a mistake, he admits in the email that what he's doing is not OK.

@pavel_lishin - You bring an important point and after thinking about it, I agree with you. For company's sake, HR should be involved to caution him.
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