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Why I am leaving the best job I ever had

maxschireson.com

41–50 of 56 posts

Re: Why I am leaving the best job I ever had

#41
A very brave decision to make, especially given the growth MongoDB is experiencing at the moment.

With that said I would like to add that as an early adopter of the technology (read; most of our company's software is built with MongoDB as the storage tier) I'm less than impressed with the technical leadership shown there. In other words, I'm not overly familiar with Dev Ittycheria and I'm sure he's a capable replacement for Max Schireson but what they really need is a new technical leadership. There are some properly questionable technical decisions being made or postponed that damage the reputation, maturity and usability of their tech.

Re: Why I am leaving the best job I ever had

#43
post #14
post #3

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I recently confronted a similar situation (though the stakes were vastly smaller when viewed externally). I am moving from being a full time employee to a contractor where I can control my hours and spend time with my children as they grow up. At least that's the plan! I've always been of the opinion that once you have X dollars (for some definition of X, which fluctuates), time is worth far more than money. This opi…

To me that X is the amount needed to just survive, maybe a little more. Right now I'm working far more that I'd like, that is, making far more money than I need, since I'm far from being a big spender but I love having time for studying or for long walks at the beach (my most expensive vice is in fact studying, which is far cheaper in my country than in the US). It sucks that in practice there's no way to work less t…

My X varied wildly over time, but definitely has grown since I got married, bought a house, had a family, etc.

I'm not sure what your career is, but that's a real bummer that the 40 hour a week grind is your only choice. Maybe a different career would be a better fit?

Re: Why I am leaving the best job I ever had

#44

I predict a society where men, women, couples work until age 60-70 and then retire and have children (assuming medical advances).

Sure, frozen embryos, frozen sperm and something like the "uterine replicator" from the Vorkosigan Saga (Bujold) [1] may allow this to happen.

I really doubt 60 or 70 year old women will gestate their babies [2].

[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vorkosigan_Saga#Technology [2] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pregnancy_over_age_50

Re: Why I am leaving the best job I ever had

#45
post #2

At some point, after basic needs are met, every working person is forced to answer the following question with respect to the toll work takes on his or her family: is it worth it? It takes courage to say "no" and make a clean cut. Kudos to this gentleman for doing what his family needs him to do.

> every working person is forced to answer the following question with respect to the toll work takes on his or her family: is it worth it?

Really? You are just brainwashed into the 'cult of family' .

Re: Why I am leaving the best job I ever had

#46
post #9

I'm not a CEO, but a working dad. I find that I have met little resistance when I get up to pick up my kids at 5:30 or refuse travel (video chat is cheaper than airfare). Being constantly connected is really helpful. I have my work email and IM on my phone. I can respond to a message in between dinner and bath time. I don't think I'd ever accept a job that didn't let me get away with those things.

You'd be surprised how many places I've heard of that would give push back on that. They tend to be small startups that haven't had to "grow up" yet.

It probably depends quite a bit on the people starting the company. Our CEO, myself (CTO), and one of our developers are all fathers with children under 3 years old at home. A woman on our sales/support team recently took a chunk of time to have a baby, and has returned to working initially very few, now slowly-increasing hours.

We all work remotely, and sometimes at rather odd hours, to make this balance possible. It's not always easy, of course, but we figure it out.

If you're trying to actually have a presence in your kids' lives but no one else at work seems to have that facet in their lives, you're on your own, and your work (and peace of mind!) are going to suffer as you try to pass for a non-parent. But if you're working for people who know what you're dealing with, they can offer flexibility that non-parenting employees wouldn't need, share strategies and options, and trade stories.

This week, I've interviewed two candidates for senior developer roles who both have small children at home; I'm actually not sure if they were specifically interviewing with us because we're getting a rep for being parent-supportive, but that'd be interesting.

I can remember the other side of this; long before I ever thought about having kids, I remember when a fellow developer had his first child. He only took off for a week or so (we had 10 days vacation a year, and he stuck to that!), but then he would stumble into the office looking pale and his work went to hell. And of course his wife was home with the baby by herself all day, while he was at the office being mostly useless.

It didn't occur to me at the time that there might be a better way to handle it; though of course at the time it wasn't up to me anyway.

Re: Why I am leaving the best job I ever had

#47
post #46

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You'd be surprised how many places I've heard of that would give push back on that. They tend to be small startups that haven't had to "grow up" yet.

It probably depends quite a bit on the people starting the company. Our CEO, myself (CTO), and one of our developers are all fathers with children under 3 years old at home. A woman on our sales/support team recently took a chunk of time to have a baby, and has returned to working initially very few, now slowly-increasing hours. We all work remotely, and sometimes at rather odd hours, to make this balance possible. I…

If your company wasn't in the UK I'd be tempted to apply.

You're probably right that they are coming to you because you may have a reputation of being parent friendly.

Re: Why I am leaving the best job I ever had

#48
post #37

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Because that would imply that the grand parents are the bread winners in the family, instead of "enjoying their golden years".

Instead, we could make "the golden years" between 25 and 45.

Try convincing the Baby Boomers that, aside from not having a retirement any time soon, and aside from having their kids moving back home, they will be moving back with their significant other and get their own families started on Boomer's dime.

It's like that pop-psi tale about the guy who never knew what chicken breast tasted like. When being a child, his mother reserved the breast for the father because "he's the one who keeps us fed and clothed". Later when he was a grown up, his wife reserved the breast for the children because "they deserve the very best".

Re: Why I am leaving the best job I ever had

#50
post #2

At some point, after basic needs are met, every working person is forced to answer the following question with respect to the toll work takes on his or her family: is it worth it? It takes courage to say "no" and make a clean cut. Kudos to this gentleman for doing what his family needs him to do.

> every working person is forced to answer the following question with respect to the toll work takes on his or her family: is it worth it? Really? You are just brainwashed into the 'cult of family' .

What exactly is this comment supposed to mean? I'm reading a severe level of disdain for valuing one's family, and I strongly disagree with that, but I don't want to get into that discussion if that's not how you meant that comment.
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