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Why Loneliness Matters in the Social Age

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Re: Why Loneliness Matters in the Social Age

#41

Post by panacea »

judk wrote: post #38
noname123 wrote: post #12

Related but an off-shoot question, people who are "settled down," in your late 20's/30's/40's/50's/60's, have families and various obligations, how do you deal with loneliness? As someone who is on the precipice of turning 30 (27 currently), speaking strictly for myself - I've found that loneliness for me and my older peers is different from the angst of adolescence a la Holden. Tbh, younger people tend to think in m…

You embrace the evolutionary biological imperative. Mate, have kids, and make them your life.

And just wave away, via cognitive dissonance, the fact that the kids you produce are likely to be badly fucked over by climate change and an overpopulated world in their lifetime?

Re: Why Loneliness Matters in the Social Age

#42

Post by gaius »

erikpukinskis wrote: post #15
iterationx wrote: post #4

There was an interesting article recently about teens and social networking, and insight of the article was that teens want to socialize IRL, but there is nowhere for them to go without parental supervision. I would argue that this approximately true for adults, American cities don't have pedestrian-only town squares, the public transit is abysmal (because long ago they ripped out all the streetcars, which led to the…

I would expand your hypothesis: the goal of business is to take away all of our abilities to take care of ourselves--whether it's socialization, food, shelter, or anything else--so that they can sell those things back to us. Our culture, increasingly dictated by commercial interests, is taking this strategy to the extreme. The result is a world which appears humane to the wealthy.

The goal of large organizations - the government is in on this racket too, indeed is the master of it.

Re: Why Loneliness Matters in the Social Age

#43

Post by auvrw »

dschiptsov wrote: post #32

Because nothing could be accomplished without avoiding constant distractions which comes from society. When Sartre said his famous "the hell is other people" he probably meant this too. Others, like Mishima, Rand, Nabokov, Hesse also emphasized if not loneliness but certain safe distance from so-called society. It is perfectly ok to be alone from all that socially constructed reality they created for themselves. Like…

or just view things as a spectrum rather than a two-state decision. even tibetan people who have to live in remote areas in order to farm can still get together with friends and race horses and so on every year. similarly, software development might require extended periods of focused time, but that doesn't mean you ought to be socially isolated all the time.

Re: Why Loneliness Matters in the Social Age

#44

Post by iterationx »

judk wrote: post #39
iterationx wrote: post #11

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My suburb used to have an arcade/bowling alley, but my parents didn't want me to go there (I did anyway), but then even that closed down. I guess I was one of the lucky ones. Consider the following, most parents are driving their children to sports, therefore the children are not playing in the neighborhood, therefore if you are a child and not in sports there is no one to socialize with since all your peers are "at…

Do activities like "at hockey" consume the majority of American kids, or just a few rich kids?

Its possible that more of them are playing video games than at team sports, but in any rate they are not roaming around the neighborhood.

Re: Why Loneliness Matters in the Social Age

#45

Post by mesaaz »

panacea wrote: post #41
judk wrote: post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You embrace the evolutionary biological imperative. Mate, have kids, and make them your life.

And just wave away, via cognitive dissonance, the fact that the kids you produce are likely to be badly fucked over by climate change and an overpopulated world in their lifetime?

I up-voted you. So many people -- including people prone to gloominess -- seem to reproduce without thinking of the fact that they are forcing another human into existence who may not enjoy life very much.

Re: Why Loneliness Matters in the Social Age

#46

Post by mitochondrion »

panacea wrote: post #41
judk wrote: post #38

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You embrace the evolutionary biological imperative. Mate, have kids, and make them your life.

And just wave away, via cognitive dissonance, the fact that the kids you produce are likely to be badly fucked over by climate change and an overpopulated world in their lifetime?

There have been several mass extinction events in the last 500 million years that resulted in the disappearance of the majority of animal life. We're here today through the virtue of our (500 million years of) ancestors who picked up, moved on, and got right back to fucking. They probably weren't enjoying half-starving and watching their children die, but they kept at it. Biological imperative doesn't give a shit.

Re: Why Loneliness Matters in the Social Age

#47

Post by logangilmour »

iterationx wrote: post #24
logangilmour wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Also worth a read is 'A Pattern Language: Towns, Buildings, Construction' if you're interested in an architectural look at how humans might live together better.

Thanks for the link, I will probably read it. Are you familiar with Bjarke Ingels over at BIG, I thought his TED was super interesting, http://www.ted.com/talks/bjarke_ingels_3_warp_speed_architec...

Thanks, that was great! I've only very recently started exploring urban design - I spend my days building software. I have this vague notion that living in a city could be nicer, so I'm trying to familiarize myself with what the people who know what they're doing say about it. I'll look further into Ingels and BIG. Are there any other starting points you'd suggest?

Re: Why Loneliness Matters in the Social Age

#48

Post by logangilmour »

saraid216 wrote: post #28
logangilmour wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Also worth a read is 'A Pattern Language: Towns, Buildings, Construction' if you're interested in an architectural look at how humans might live together better.

Happy City is one of the better "published in the last year" books on the topic: http://www.amazon.com/Happy-City-Transforming-Through-Design...

Thanks, I'm looking forward to reading it! I'm only just getting my feet wet with urban design, so I appreciate the link.

Re: Why Loneliness Matters in the Social Age

#50

Post by gruseom »

logangilmour wrote: post #18
iterationx wrote: post #4

There was an interesting article recently about teens and social networking, and insight of the article was that teens want to socialize IRL, but there is nowhere for them to go without parental supervision. I would argue that this approximately true for adults, American cities don't have pedestrian-only town squares, the public transit is abysmal (because long ago they ripped out all the streetcars, which led to the…

Also worth a read is 'A Pattern Language: Towns, Buildings, Construction' if you're interested in an architectural look at how humans might live together better.

I love that book. Just browsing through it brings relief to the soul. Imagine if all buildings were alive like that!

Alexander's critique of modern architecture is devastating, but his later, hugely more ambitious work is somehow less compelling. Perhaps I should give it another chance.

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