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Re: undefined

#41

Post by jyothi »

A good working relationship - be it with family, friends or spouse will keep you happy from the start of the hour to making you feel good at the end of the day no matter what.

Now the involuntary chain is - Relationships (good ones) -> Happiness -> Better productivity.

Now there is a bit of back and forth dependencies with all 3, which needs to be maintained voluntarily. Essentially you ensure you are not wasting time so that u can be happy and satisfied abt your results, you ensure your spouse/parents/friends are feeling great too so that they in return the same spirit back to you, which will make you happy and so on.

In conclusion, its all how you drive. Involuntary chain does help.

Re: undefined

#43

Post by sho »

adammarkey wrote: post #16
shdon wrote: post #5

The initial phase of being in love or going through a breakup, I can't concentrate and my work suffers. When a relationship is working, it has a positive influence on my well-being and that in turn positively affects my creativity and productivity.

Love is like a TCP connection. Startup and teardown are expensive, but once you're past that, you're in the butter-zone.

So does that make casual sex UDP?

Re: undefined

#44

Post by ahoyhere »

sho wrote: post #40
ahoyhere wrote: post #26

time_management has a history of posting misogynistic, and generally sexist (for both sexes) comments. One needs to take this into account when responding. Just read his comments here about 85% of women in the US being too low-quality, etc., etc. before you upvote.

Downvoted. Attempting to discredit someone by labelling them in this way is a distasteful and intellectually bankrupt way to argue. You play the "sexism card" like this far too often and it grows tiresome. No matter if what someone says is right or wrong, it should stand by itself and be judged on its merits regardless of the larger trends in their opinion or their posting history. And for what it's worth, I strongly…

I'm calling his comments sexist, and he's calling 85% of American women worthless.

Who's the distasteful and intellectually bankrupt one here?

So what you're saying is, that I'm a bad commentor because I used a label like "sexist" to apply to someone's publically, voluntarily, and vociferously stated opinions...

...but it's just fine to apply the label of "unmarriagable," "selfish," "crass," "immoral," "low quality," etc, to millions of people who have committed the sin against this man of simply existing and not doing what he wants?

Re: undefined

#45

Post by ahoyhere »

colins_pride wrote: post #34
knowtheory wrote: post #30

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Wow. Misogyny alert on top of inductive reasoning fail. While i, myself, am married to a wonderful Canadian, i know quite a number of wonderful American girls of a wide variety of dispositions, and even geekiness, whose relationships are not fundamentally based on selfishness. To be honest, having read through your comments on this thread, i have to question this whole endeavor. If your main concern is having a relat…

Misogyny is a lack of respect for all women. He has an issue with American women. There is a big difference between those two. We need to be careful when we accuse people.

It's still racism if you think something good about an entire group of people based on skin color...

...and it's still sexism if you limit your "judgment" to only the 150 million women around you, rather than in other countries.

Re: undefined

#46

Post by edb »

randomwalker wrote: post #13

I've been in a friends-with-benefits situation for the better part of a year. I wasn't the one who suggested it, and I was initially reluctant, but it's been pretty awesome. This is very different from unattached casual sex, mind you. We're very good friends, we care about each other and so forth. But we've been able to keep this up long term with no romantic attachment at all. Technically we're both free to see othe…

but since we're both busy and pretty satisfied with the arrangement that hasn't happened I guess.

I hate to break it to you, but you're in a relationship. Try sleeping with someone else, you'll see what I mean. :)

Re: undefined

#47

Post by anon87 »

It really depends what your goals in life are. If you're like me, and at some point want to have sex with many very beautiful women (before maybe getting married at some later point) then being single pushes me to work extra hard. I know that in order to have relationships, encounters and just a great time with high-quality, intelligent and good looking women, you need to be on the top of your game. And I believe the more successful you are in your business, the more witty you'll become, the more confident etc. In fact I think these things are correlated; You'll be more successful business-wise if you are more confident and have better social skills.

So I think you need to figure out what you really want in life. (Wealth, Abundance of hot women, Fame, spiritual fulfillment, intellectual fulfillment, friends etc). Then do the things that in the LONG TERM will bring you those things.

A working relationship can be one the best things that ever happened to you; maybe that's worth being financially successful one or two years later.

Re: undefined

#48

Post by time_management »

ahoyhere wrote: post #45
colins_pride wrote: post #34

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Misogyny is a lack of respect for all women. He has an issue with American women. There is a big difference between those two. We need to be careful when we accuse people.

It's still racism if you think something good about an entire group of people based on skin color... ...and it's still sexism if you limit your "judgment" to only the 150 million women around you, rather than in other countries.

My adversity is toward a culture (Sex and the City) that encourages women to be selfish, oversexed, mean-spirited, uncultured, and unladylike, even when such behavior is usually against their own interests. I don't consider it sexism because I don't believe that there's any intrinsic reason to consider one gender "better" than the other.

Unfortunately, though, there's a lot of rot in our popular culture with regard to sexuality and human relationships. I have no idea if the effects on men are as bad as those on women; obviously, I'm inclined to notice the damage it does to women, but it could be equally damaging to men. It's quite possible that 85+% of American men are unfit for long-term romantic partnerships as well.

Re: undefined

#49

Post by mattknox »

The correlation of relationships and achievement probably varies from profession to profession. As I understand it, physicists nearly always do their best work before marriage, while businessmen often do theirs after. There are a bunch of related effects that would have to be teased out to make the correlation clean (eg., physicists tend to do their most interesting work very young, and tend not to get married young), but it seems solvable.

One thing I wouldn't rely on in trying to answer this question is asking people whether having a relationship makes them happier/more creative/more productive. Anything related to reproduction is probably viewed in an unrealistically positive light, and probably has a bunch of taboo protection. ( for example, see http://www.newsweek.com/id/143792 for people's reactions to a sociologist who wrote that having children doesn't make people happier. ) It's in our genes' best interests for us to think that having kids is a tremendous joy, whether it is or not, and the same is probably true for relationships.

I'd imagine the research has already been done for whatever field you're in, so you can just look it up.

Re: undefined

#50

Post by ahoyhere »

time_management wrote: post #48
ahoyhere wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's still racism if you think something good about an entire group of people based on skin color... ...and it's still sexism if you limit your "judgment" to only the 150 million women around you, rather than in other countries.

My adversity is toward a culture ( Sex and the City ) that encourages women to be selfish, oversexed, mean-spirited, uncultured, and unladylike, even when such behavior is usually against their own interests. I don't consider it sexism because I don't believe that there's any intrinsic reason to consider one gender "better" than the other. Unfortunately, though, there's a lot of rot in our popular culture with regard…

OK, ok, I know I've been fighting it but I can't hold out any longer...

Thank you so much for telling us who is and isn't fit for marriage!

I know it's so hard for you to pick a marriage partner for yourself, much less for all of the rest of us, so your tireless work is very appreciated.

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