I haven't abandoned Proxmox yet, but the take here resonates with me. I do not like configuring appliances. I prefer defining infra as code, having that diffable, assertable, etc. I have had pretty good luck managing Proxmox clusters with the Proxmox API ( https://pve.proxmox.com/pve-docs/api-viewer/index.html ) or just letting the agent shell in as root (lol). I built a very simple provisioning tool called vmfactory…
https://github.com/Telmate/terraform-provider-proxmox ... I run Ansible against Proxmox hosts to ensure the config on them is what I want, and then Terraform all VMs into place on them. It's not too far off from having your own mini-EC2, minus some of the nice trappings like load balancers.
No agentic stuff on our stack, as our security posture can't afford that currently.
As for the load-balancing, I think the later versions have supported targeting proxmox clusters vs a single node, and the newest Proxmox can do resource auto-balancing. That might get you what you need