The truth about being a manager • Hacker News Board

Re: The truth about being a manager

#41

Post by jaggederest » Tue, Jun 23, 2026, 7:05 PM UTC

MarceliusK wrote: post #34

jkingsbery wrote: post #25

Mostly agree with this article. When I mentor people about managing, some other bits I also usually mention: 1. 'You’re not “part of the team” anymore.' - You're not part of the software dev team, but if you're doing things right, you're part of a team, just a new one. I encourage manager mentees of mine to read a book "Five Dysfunctions of a Team" which talks about figuring out who your "first team" is. Even in envi…

In a way management should be treated more like a role change than a one-way promotion

The limited amount of true people management I've done has felt like a really valuable educational process, even if I never embrace wearing that hat exclusively.

Re: The truth about being a manager

#42

Post by jawns » Tue, Jun 23, 2026, 7:06 PM UTC

smcg wrote: post #31

jawns wrote: post #12

I think this might scare some people off from management unnecessarily. A lot of what's being described here is important for new managers to understand, but eventually, once you find your footing, you can start to determine where the rules can bend. For instance, a lot of new managers struggle because they want to keep a foot in the IC world. I think most new managers would benefit from stepping away from the code f…

It confirmed that management would be a bad choice for me. If anything I think that the article is going to give people the ability to say "no" if they are on the fence. I don't want to sell. I don't want to politic. I don't want to know about re-orgs before the employees whom it actually affects. I don't want to lay off someone because my team's profits are being siphoned by others. I don't want to carry upper manag…

Those are definitely the down sides. As a manager who has had to let people go, no matter how deserved, it is a part of the job that I wish I didn't have to do, and it does disturb my sleep and peace.

But there are some very meaningful upsides as well, and the one that rises above all the rest is that I genuinely love working with teams and helping them grow.

Based on your list of things you don't want to do, I would say that if you can enjoy the success and stability you wish to have while avoiding all of those things, then more power to you! But keep in mind that in most businesses, _somebody_ has to do those less desirable things, or the business isn't going to stay afloat.

Re: The truth about being a manager

#43

Post by kaycebasques » Tue, Jun 23, 2026, 7:08 PM UTC

I will never forget my dad's response to me telling him that I was becoming a people manager: "Everyone else's problems are now your problems."

Re: The truth about being a manager

#44

Post by Esophagus4 » Tue, Jun 23, 2026, 7:11 PM UTC

MarceliusK wrote: post #34

jkingsbery wrote: post #25

Mostly agree with this article. When I mentor people about managing, some other bits I also usually mention: 1. 'You’re not “part of the team” anymore.' - You're not part of the software dev team, but if you're doing things right, you're part of a team, just a new one. I encourage manager mentees of mine to read a book "Five Dysfunctions of a Team" which talks about figuring out who your "first team" is. Even in envi…

In a way management should be treated more like a role change than a one-way promotion

Absolutely.

This is the hardest part of the transition to manager: your engineering skills alone won’t make you a manager. It’s a different role.

Re: The truth about being a manager

#45

Post by greybcg » Tue, Jun 23, 2026, 7:14 PM UTC

sam_lowry_ wrote: post #29

jkingsbery wrote: post #25

Mostly agree with this article. When I mentor people about managing, some other bits I also usually mention: 1. 'You’re not “part of the team” anymore.' - You're not part of the software dev team, but if you're doing things right, you're part of a team, just a new one. I encourage manager mentees of mine to read a book "Five Dysfunctions of a Team" which talks about figuring out who your "first team" is. Even in envi…

Back in Soviet times there was a trend in Sci-Fi depicting the bright communist future when people changed professions every few years or so, often between manual and intellectual, to stay sharp.

Interesting parallel I was unaware of. On a personal level I have found it very useful to alternate between mental and physical work for the sake of endurance. If I was mentally tired I could usually still do physical work. This was helpful within the scope of a day or week and I imagine that such alternating also aids longterm endurance.

Re: The truth about being a manager

#46

Post by steveBK123 » Tue, Jun 23, 2026, 7:15 PM UTC

hypfer wrote: post #35

> You will encounter business decisions you think are terrible but you still have to sell to your team. This is incorrect. You don't have to. In fact, you shouldn't. There can be situation in which stuff will need to happen regardless, yes, but that does not require lying and probably works even better when one does not lie. The post then continues with more such falsehoods and incorrect learnings one could deconstru…

Agree - If you think your team is below your intellectual level, then by all means lie and sell them on terrible decisions you don't believe in.

An honest manager who respects the intellect of their reports has more nuance in delivering requirements that must be met, without clowning themselves as a propaganda mouthpiece.

Re: The truth about being a manager

#47

Post by Esophagus4 » Tue, Jun 23, 2026, 7:15 PM UTC

smcg wrote: post #31

jawns wrote: post #12

I think this might scare some people off from management unnecessarily. A lot of what's being described here is important for new managers to understand, but eventually, once you find your footing, you can start to determine where the rules can bend. For instance, a lot of new managers struggle because they want to keep a foot in the IC world. I think most new managers would benefit from stepping away from the code f…

It confirmed that management would be a bad choice for me. If anything I think that the article is going to give people the ability to say "no" if they are on the fence. I don't want to sell. I don't want to politic. I don't want to know about re-orgs before the employees whom it actually affects. I don't want to lay off someone because my team's profits are being siphoned by others. I don't want to carry upper manag…

I know three really good engineers who have said the same for exactly those reasons. (eg “I don’t want to choose who gets laid off” etc)

I totally respect that, and the people I know who said that to me are typically very strong and experienced engineers.

Re: The truth about being a manager

#48

Post by siliconc0w » Tue, Jun 23, 2026, 7:18 PM UTC

The reality is that there is no escaping management. A high level IC is pretty much just an unofficial manager. You are responsible for a large technical area - it's your job to meet with stakeholders, design the roadmap, build durable team processes to maintain velocity, mentor and identify the right work for the right people. You may not have back to back meetings but between 1:1s, stakeholders, projects, and ad-hoc fires they're likely still a majority your schedule. You are expected to lead without authority. Leadership will change priorities and reorganize the teams every six months. If you're focused and deliberate, you can maybe get can your project landed before the next reorg.

Re: The truth about being a manager

#49

Post by Esophagus4 » Tue, Jun 23, 2026, 7:19 PM UTC

juancn wrote: post #28

All leadership is like that. Even if you're not a people manager. I'm an IC in a technical leadership position, all of these hold true with the added constraint that I cannot tell anyone what to do. I hold no carrot or stick. I have to persuade, convince and influence, I have no reports (nor I want them) so to get anything done I need to get people to align and understand the value on its merits.

The good news is those skills of getting people to believe in you and your thing are critical to leadership as an EM too.

I’m sure we all can think of managers who don’t have those skills but rely on the stick, and those managers are lousy at their job.

Good leadership skills have a lot of overlap between IC and EM.

Re: The truth about being a manager

#50

Post by gopher_space » Tue, Jun 23, 2026, 7:24 PM UTC

jms703 wrote: post #16

jawns wrote: post #12

I think this might scare some people off from management unnecessarily. A lot of what's being described here is important for new managers to understand, but eventually, once you find your footing, you can start to determine where the rules can bend. For instance, a lot of new managers struggle because they want to keep a foot in the IC world. I think most new managers would benefit from stepping away from the code f…

If it scares you off, thats a good thing. A manager who doesn't want to do these things might not be an effective manager. I think its better to go in eyes open to what it really means. I think the author did a good job of that. I was hoping for more upsides, but, I'm not surprised by the short list either.

It's a service-oriented job that attracts people who like to control other people. There are only so many upsides to a situation like that. Here's my favorite take on the subject:

> "Police business is a hell of a problem. It's a good deal like politics. It asks for the highest type of men, and there's nothing in it to attract the highest type of men. So we have to work with what we get—and we get things like this."

- Raymond Chandler The Lady in the Lake