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Experience: We found a baby on the subway – now he's our 26-year-old son

theguardian.com

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Re: Experience: We found a baby on the subway – now he's our 26-year-old son

#41

Post by probably_wrong »

throwaway2046 wrote: post #38

Inspiring to see the couple accomplish this and in the early 2000s no less. Wishing them all the best. If you haven't already, watch the animated short film[1] by Zombie Studio. It was my introduction to this case before reading the article. [1] https://vimeo.com/1092249009

I just watched the short and I'm not a fan. I understand that they are trying to make a point and the presentation is great, but the way they paint the social worker and the judge (who, based on the story, seem to be a cool dude) feels so far away from the facts as to be entirely made up.

Also, the Vimeo web player in Android sucks so much. This is in no way related to the previous point, but I couldn't not bring it up.

Re: Experience: We found a baby on the subway – now he's our 26-year-old son

#42

Post by nonameiguess »

Digit-Al wrote: post #19

I find this story slightly odd. I'm not trying to suggest it's not true, I have trust in the Guardian not to print falsehoods; but do they really offer abandoned babies to just anyone in America? Here in the UK, I used to work with a guy many years ago who was trying to adopt. He and his wife had to go through months and months of vetting and paperwork to be allowed to become adopted parents. You basically have to pr…

It's changed over the years and depends quite a bit on the state, but generally family court prefers placing wards of the state with birth parents if they're alive and known and legally able to care for a child, and if not, then either kin or "fictive kin," which is any stable adult that already has a pre-existing relationship with the child. If a child is completely abandoned and has no known family, then whoever found them is probably the best thing going all else being equal.

But no, it is not generally that easy anywhere in America. My wife and I tried for six years and it never happened. Texas completely privatized foster care licensing years back, so standards can be pretty arbitrary. Some agencies are thinly-veiled scams requiring you to purchase books or parenting classes from the founder.

Re: Experience: We found a baby on the subway – now he's our 26-year-old son

#43

Post by rafram »

Digit-Al wrote: post #19

I find this story slightly odd. I'm not trying to suggest it's not true, I have trust in the Guardian not to print falsehoods; but do they really offer abandoned babies to just anyone in America? Here in the UK, I used to work with a guy many years ago who was trying to adopt. He and his wife had to go through months and months of vetting and paperwork to be allowed to become adopted parents. You basically have to pr…

https://nypost.com/2025/07/04/us-news/nycs-famous-subway-bab...

> The process actually ended up being surprisingly quick, thanks to a short-lived pilot program that was meant to cut through red tape and quickly place healthy, abandoned infants in permanent homes.

Re: Experience: We found a baby on the subway – now he's our 26-year-old son

#44

Post by perfmode »

> Not everything has been easy. When he was a teenager, he had a lot of questions about his birth mother. He wanted to put up posters in the subway, and we would notice him looking at strangers’ faces to see if they looked like him. He’s made peace with the situation now, though.

Felt this deeply.

Re: Experience: We found a baby on the subway – now he's our 26-year-old son

#45

Post by Balgair »

II2II wrote: post #36
wood_spirit wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Many of us could easily imagine, once chance puts us in the position of the person who can’t walk past, taking a concerned interest in the outcome and, realising that the baby would go into the care system, stepping up and doing the massive step of talking it upon ourselves to provide that home?

Imagine, perhaps. Stepping up and doing it, that's more difficult. Then consider this scenario: two young men taking in a child when they did not have financial or social security. I'm not sure what the situation was like for gay men in NYC at the time, but it would be years until they could legally marry. Heck, they weren't even living together at the time. That takes a whole lot of bravery. (I will acknowledge that…

> I have known people who have adopted the children of strangers after reporting their family for abuse.

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” ― Fred Rogers

Re: Experience: We found a baby on the subway – now he's our 26-year-old son

#46

Post by throwaway2046 »

probably_wrong wrote: post #41
throwaway2046 wrote: post #38

Inspiring to see the couple accomplish this and in the early 2000s no less. Wishing them all the best. If you haven't already, watch the animated short film[1] by Zombie Studio. It was my introduction to this case before reading the article. [1] https://vimeo.com/1092249009

I just watched the short and I'm not a fan. I understand that they are trying to make a point and the presentation is great, but the way they paint the social worker and the judge (who, based on the story, seem to be a cool dude) feels so far away from the facts as to be entirely made up. Also, the Vimeo web player in Android sucks so much. This is in no way related to the previous point, but I couldn't not bring it…

I see what you mean, but ultimately the video shows both the social worker and the judge were on the couple's side, despite the first impression... The social worker was painted as this very bureaucratic person who follows the rules to a tee, while still being sympathetic to the couple's situation. And the judge was painted as the intimidating figure with the final say, who eventually rules in favor of the couple and gives the child a permanent home. I agree with the other commenter who said the story was too good to be true, so the film making some artistic decisions for dramatic effect doesn't sound too bad.

Re: Experience: We found a baby on the subway – now he's our 26-year-old son

#49

Post by declan_roberts »

zemike wrote: post #32
Digit-Al wrote: post #19

I find this story slightly odd. I'm not trying to suggest it's not true, I have trust in the Guardian not to print falsehoods; but do they really offer abandoned babies to just anyone in America? Here in the UK, I used to work with a guy many years ago who was trying to adopt. He and his wife had to go through months and months of vetting and paperwork to be allowed to become adopted parents. You basically have to pr…

You can search for articles and you will find more info dating from the year 2000. IIRC, there was a lengthy court “battle” to allow them to adopt, as the parents are a gay couple and that was not as openly accepted at the time. That’s why this story was so big back then and is still relevant today, it was a unique case.

It sounds like the judge had a lot of discretion in this case and used their discretion for a speedy adoption.

Re: Experience: We found a baby on the subway – now he's our 26-year-old son

#50

Post by frutiger »

zamadatix wrote: post #39
throeididkf wrote: post #12

Earlier quoted context omitted.

[flagged]

God bless the woman who felt they had no other choice & give them help rather than punishment. We will never know the circumstances but we can obviously assume they weren't very much better than the baby's to have done this. Nobody doing something like this out of disdain for the child would have carried it to delivery (regardless of their stance on abortion).

At least in NY State, babies up to 30 days old can be left for care by the state.

> New York State's Abandoned Infant Protection Act allows a parent to abandon a newborn baby up to 30 days of age anonymously and without fear of prosecution, as long as the baby is abandoned in a safe manner.

> A parent is not guilty of a crime if the infant is left with an appropriate person or in a suitable location and the parent promptly notifies an appropriate person of the infant's location. A hospital or a staffed police or fire station are examples of safe and suitable choices.

> A person leaving an infant under this law is not required to give his or her name.

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