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Talking to strangers at the gym

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Re: Talking to strangers at the gym

#41

Post by mghackerlady »

codeulike wrote: post #33
nate8bit wrote: post #7

I think picking up people at the bar is easier than making friends at the gym - what you want is to join a crossfit gym, or something that has a stronger community culture to it. Not the gym.

But I hear that with Gen Z and Alpha they dont really go to bars but they do tend to go to the gym, and so the gym is becoming a more social space. So maybe OP is on the right track? https://www.theguardian.com/society/2025/may/15/why-gym-plac...

at least in the US, gen alpha wouldn't really be allowed in any bars which is honestly part of the problem

source: I'm on the younger end of gen z and I can't drink yet

Re: Talking to strangers at the gym

#42

Post by b1temy »

It's obvious in hindsight but to me its really interesting you can collect data points on the community just by chatting with them. Maybe you could guess, by appearance or behaviour or something, whether most people at the gym are university students, or gym bros, or something else.

But by chatting with them, the world seems a bit bigger. And even if you don't see them again often, or don't chat again, its just nice that you have some level of familiarity and learn new things you wouldn't know unless you chatted with them. And although sometimes you have that awkward uncomfortable short conversation, every once in a while, you make a new friend. That is life, I suppose.

Re: Talking to strangers at the gym

#43

Post by GuB-42 »

setgree wrote: post #11

Good for you, OP! Climbing gyms are especially good for making friends because you are working on problems with people. My gym has a weekly meet up for people looking for belay partners as well as classes where folks talk. Crossfit might also do the trick, as might a running club. Good luck!

The other thing with climbing gyms, especially bouldering is that you only spend maybe 20% of the time climbing. With 80% time off, that's a lot of opportunities for socializing.

You don't get that with the high intensity training like Crossfit where you spend maybe 70% of the time working out and 30% of the time dying.

Re: Talking to strangers at the gym

#44

Post by Hobadee »

> activities suggested by r/Syracuse like volleyball ... require you to already have friends.

False! Find a gym with open hours and just show up! I used to do this all the time with my friends, but there were always a few people there on their own. There is always someone a couple players short for their team, so just ask around ("Hey, you need anyone else on your team?") and you'll find some people to play with. Keep coming back week after week and you'll make some friends eventually.

I assume this works equally well for most team sports that can be played casually such as basketball, soccer, and others.

Re: Talking to strangers at the gym

#46

Post by arowthway »

dandaka wrote: post #8
hfirkrrji wrote: post #2

[flagged]

wtf, how do you even get consent before contact?

Start by repeatedly occupying the same room and seeing if the other person doesn't leave. Then you can graduate to very brief eye contact. Then maybe 'hi' to the whole room and seeing if the person responds. Longer eye contact. A nod. Negative response at any point = back to square 1.

Re: Talking to strangers at the gym

#47

Post by brushfoot »

Wonderful! There's a lot of advice online about how essentially evil it is to talk to strangers: They're busy, they have headphones in, they might think you're hitting on them (God forbid; nothing could be more evil than attraction). Ignore it. It often as not boils down to fear and neuroticism from terminally online introverts (and sometimes plain old misanthropists) raised in a hyper-individualist culture and glued to devices sometimes from infancy.

Fair enough if an introvert just wants to be left alone; we should obviously never force our company on anyone (nor do the mentally healthy among us have any desire to do so, because we have empathy). However, people like that will let us know that they don't want to talk when we approach them, either directly or via body language and the nature of their replies. For many others, they're starving for social interaction, and it might make their day for you to reach out. This is what makes outreach worth it, in the end, despite the risk.

Re: Talking to strangers at the gym

#48

Post by rikschennink »

setgree wrote: post #11

Good for you, OP! Climbing gyms are especially good for making friends because you are working on problems with people. My gym has a weekly meet up for people looking for belay partners as well as classes where folks talk. Crossfit might also do the trick, as might a running club. Good luck!

+1 from me. I always find it very challenging to speak to strangers, but not at the Boulder gym. There's just so many opportunities to start a natural conversation:

- new climbers asks you for advise

- you can ask a new climber if they'd like some technique tips

- you finally top your project and someone commends you for it

- someone tops your project and you ask them for advise

- you're trying to top a boulder on a new set and are solving it with others

- you're _constantly_ in the gym so staff starts talking to you

Re: Talking to strangers at the gym

#49

Post by AureliusMA »

bluGill wrote: post #40
nate8bit wrote: post #7

I think picking up people at the bar is easier than making friends at the gym - what you want is to join a crossfit gym, or something that has a stronger community culture to it. Not the gym.

Bars are a common place, but do you really want to meet the type of person who hangs out in a bar? Sure if you only want a one night stand what they do with the rest of their life doesn't matter. However if you want a relationship you probably don't want to start with a high odds of finding a borderline alcoholic.

Not all bars have the same "type" of people. Also if you're looking for camaraderie or friendship, it's a pretty good place to have talks of all kind - the silly ones are the best!

Re: Talking to strangers at the gym

#50

Post by rabelais »

each place has different social dynamics. from my experience, working out at a gym isn't the exactly an easiest way to make friends. I've also frequented gyms in the past but there were moments that I needed to focus alone, otherwise couldn't get the gain I needed. the activity itself can become a social constraint in some cases.

when I've joined a social dance community, I was almost forced to talk and stand close with strangers. It is an emotional rollercoaster; it's all happy when I've met nice people but I've felt helpless when I had to dance/interact with people that I don't like, for whatever that is.

I've also practiced some type of acrobatics/solo dance for years and it is somewhere in between.

I think some type of intimacy heatmap can be made with all these activities.

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