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How can I deal with a team member who is always complaining?

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Re: How can I deal with a team member who is always complaining?

#41

Post by antonvs »

DonHopkins wrote: post #12

Sketchnote Bold is the new Comic Sans! (Not complaining, just observing. I shipped a top selling title that used Comic Sans exclusively!) https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/im-comic-sans-asshole https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=11466122

That first link is on point in calling out "uptight armchair typographer cock-hats."

Comic Sans' only sin was being such a good font that it became "too popular".

Really, Helvetica and Times Roman should get at least as much criticism, but they get a pass for being suitably boring.

Re: How can I deal with a team member who is always complaining?

#42

Post by PhilipRoman »

rafaelmn wrote: post #19
iambateman wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is true in some cases…but there are other people who just complain because they want attention. Good managers listen and try to understand the difference between a person complaining because they’re closer to the problem and a person complaining because they are the problem.

Also individual contributors often fail to grasp the big picture, what seems like an insurmountable issue to them is irrelevant or not a priority in the grand scheme of things. Or it's a pain point for them - but dealing with it will hurt the project overall. Can't even count the number of development/design/product bike shedding discussions, wasted effort on covering edge cases, etc. on features/products that get sc…

A lot of this can be solved just by telling that to the developers. Sometimes I feel like I'm in some sort of secret don't-let-your-right-hand-know-what-your-left-hand-is-doing style organization. I was trying to meet [artificial] deadlines and putting effort into handling every corner case while a project was doomed due to external factors (lawsuit).

My most productive time is when a manager is honest and willing to explain how the whole thing fits together.

Re: How can I deal with a team member who is always complaining?

#43

Post by vbezhenar »

varjag wrote: post #35
alphazard wrote: post #27

Most of the time, complainers are a exhibiting a personality trait (or learned behavior as the article says); let's call those "unserious complainers". Some of the time (maybe 10% IME), the person complaining knows how to fix a problem, and is confused why no one is taking them or their suggestion seriously. It could be that the problem has existed for so long that the team has a cognitive blindness, or the team is s…

As an obscure stand-up comedian once said, "initiative has to be punished with following it up".

There's rude, but precise Russian saying: "Initiative f*ks the initiator". This approach is a good way to ensure that there will not be initiative people in the team.

Re: How can I deal with a team member who is always complaining?

#44

Post by alphazard »

jacquesm wrote: post #29
alphazard wrote: post #27

Most of the time, complainers are a exhibiting a personality trait (or learned behavior as the article says); let's call those "unserious complainers". Some of the time (maybe 10% IME), the person complaining knows how to fix a problem, and is confused why no one is taking them or their suggestion seriously. It could be that the problem has existed for so long that the team has a cognitive blindness, or the team is s…

That's a great call but it should be paired with a promise: you present your great plan and then we'll put it to a vote. Otherwise you are just trying to get rid of them with busywork.

I've found that it's enough to just widely circulate it. As you point out, it's important to have some guarantee, so that the writing seems worth it.

If it is really a good idea, it will attract the attention of other serious people and become common knowledge in the organization. The shift in common knowledge is the most important change because the problem goes from something that many think they have to live with, to something that has a solution. At that point it becomes something to prioritize against everything else.

This does present some risk to leaders, it's much easier to seem incompetent when there are solutions available that are not being put to use. Leaders need to specifically address why known solutions aren't being implemented yet, and rationalize the decision.

Re: How can I deal with a team member who is always complaining?

#45

Post by jacquesm »

sam_lowry_ wrote: post #40
jacquesm wrote: post #29

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's a great call but it should be paired with a promise: you present your great plan and then we'll put it to a vote. Otherwise you are just trying to get rid of them with busywork.

Vote? By the same people who created this mess in the first place? It's a sure was to demotivate a serious complainer. He knows the vote will be turned against him. The only was to give him confidence is to promise that the plan will be judged objectively, not democratically.

Well, that's part of politics. To get people on board the complainer will then have to try to build some consensus. If you start out from the premise that the vote would be turned against him then he should simply leave for a company that is worthy of his talents instead.

Objectivity in tech is more often than not in the eye of the beholder.

Re: How can I deal with a team member who is always complaining?

#46

Post by varjag »

vbezhenar wrote: post #43
varjag wrote: post #35

Earlier quoted context omitted.

As an obscure stand-up comedian once said, "initiative has to be punished with following it up".

There's rude, but precise Russian saying: "Initiative f*ks the initiator". This approach is a good way to ensure that there will not be initiative people in the team.

Yeah, that's a later vulgarization of what Zhvanetsky said.

Re: How can I deal with a team member who is always complaining?

#47

Post by IshKebab »

dakiol wrote: post #32

Am I the only one who doesn’t care if the team has one individual with such traits? Like, if it slows down execution, well, I’m not into squeezing the last drop of speed of everyone. Also, people like that always give you the chance to show how good you are (supposedly): you can support them with potential fixes, you can support the team by saying perhaps that the complaint is not a big deal because data says so, wha…

It's fine if you can ignore them and don't have to work with them. If you do it's really draining. Constant negativity is not fun to be around.

I have only worked with one person in my life who was really like this though, so maybe you're just lucky and haven't experienced a truly committed negative Nancy.

Re: How can I deal with a team member who is always complaining?

#49

Post by lesuorac »

The article really does a great job of setting up Survivorship Bias and then completely drops the ball.

Of course chronic complainers complain about stuff out of their control. They've fixed (at least in thier eyes) the items within their control. Asking them "what would they do" is but itself entirely ineffective unless anybody is going to act on it.

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