I think this is a basic “being an adult” skill to be honest.
We all know those friends that you can’t criticize because they’ll take it poorly.
All managers make mistakes; good managers acknowledge and repair
41–50 of 134 posts
Re: All managers make mistakes; good managers acknowledge and repair
#42Implementers are not babies and managers are not our mothers. I think the management skill nobody talks about is how managers should realize they are part of a team and their focus should be on whatever the team's goal is, not in finding the perfect way to apologize. As the article says: "Your job is to ship working software that adds real value to users, to help your team grow, and to create an environment where peo…
The book referenced is not wrong, but it is too narrow. Repair isn't the core attribute of parenting. It's the core attribute of human relationships. This is generally accepted as common knowledge - it's not about the rupture, it's about the repair.
Good for you if you consider yourself so emotionally detached from work that you can let go of the fact that work relationships are still human relationships. However, you sit comfortably in the minority. Most people carry the human aspect of their work relationships into work. Ignoring that is step 1 of being a really bad manager.
This doesn't mean we don't set appropriate boundaries or avoid giving feedback. It does mean that a great manager navigates the nuances of work relationships and work itself. It also means a great manager will adjust their approach depending on the personal needs of each employee. For instance, if I was your manager and truly believed what you're saying here*, I'd just give you the brass tax feedback and keep everything about the work itself.
* And I don't. From my experience most people who take this stance have been conditioned that emotions are bad. We are big emotional bags of meat. The people I've managed with this mindset tend to be the hardest to manage. Eventually something hits their feels, they can't handle it, and the erratic behavior begins. I much prefer people who are forward with their emotions. When something happens they can vocalize it appropriately allowing me to address it. When they have feelings about feedback received, making a mistake, or doing something bad I can easily acknowledge and validate those feelings while maintain the feedback & boundaries.
Re: All managers make mistakes; good managers acknowledge and repair
#43My first boss told me that it's the primary role of a good manager to keep bullshit away from your most competent staff and 'manage' everyone else. I've worked for a number of organizations with different ideas of management since then, but that has been my guiding principle.
This meshes nicely with another comment that resonated with me about how it’s seniors that need to act like what the article talks about.
The senior ICs are the squad leaders on the frontline with the rest of the team, knee deep in the same shit they are. It’s really THOSE people doing the constant day-to-day trust building, team leveling, shit getting done-ing, repairing…
And so yeah, a good manager lets those seniors just go be good at that, not bogging them down with work that is a complete waste of their potential. It’s a bit of a symbiotic relationship really, because a manager with no such seniors on the team won’t have the firepower to crush goals, and a senior without a good manager will never be allowed to excel.
Re: All managers make mistakes; good managers acknowledge and repair
#44I think the problem is that there's a difference between a good manager and a manager who keeps their job.
despite talk of "great flattening" I've found that management seems to be strangely immune from layoffs compared to ICs. enterprises just love layers and layers of management. can't get enough of it. No CEO has ever seen a management layer he didn't like.
> management seems to be strangely immune from layoffs compared to ICs.
This is super common and a very bad sign. As an employee, you are disposable in this type of culture, though it should go without saying.
> enterprises just love layers and layers of management. can't get enough of it. No CEO has ever seen a management layer he didn't like.
Bc more warm bodies in your org looks better on the resume. Managing 200 people on paper is more impressive than managing 20.
Re: All managers make mistakes; good managers acknowledge and repair
#45Oh no. Not another LinkedIn insight from a new dad about how managing humans in corp is just like parenting. Just fucking enjoy being a parent and don't apply your obvious empathy epiphanies to your career out loud.
Wowee! What an unpleasant response. As both a parent and an employee, I found the article extremely useful and shared it internally at my org. Maybe step back from the computer a bit.
Re: All managers make mistakes; good managers acknowledge and repair
#46This is not just about management but life overall. You will mess up with the people you love -- and repair is the way to go there as well.
Re: All managers make mistakes; good managers acknowledge and repair
#47I think this goes for Engineers as well. In fact, I say the biggest skill I want from a SENIOR developer regardless of years of experience is humility. Someone who "cannot do wrong" and is a toxic about it will poison the rest of the team with their toxicity. But the seniors who are more open to feedback even from Junior developers, those are the ones everyone else follows to hell and back because they're there with…
One thing I watched closely for in interviews is the moment when an applicant said “I don’t know.” I have not had great experiences with tech co-workers who are incapable of saying that.
Yea, this is a great one. I've had a lot of success in the past using the backpack problem / box packing as an interview question for problem solving / pair programming parts of the interview. It has "I don't know" built right in. It also has "I don't know, I'm going to make this decision for now but I expect it's wrong" built in.
Re: All managers make mistakes; good managers acknowledge and repair
#48My mantras in management:
Love Your Errors
It's not a failure, it's an opportunity for improvement
No shame, no blame
Re: All managers make mistakes; good managers acknowledge and repair
#49Implementers are not babies and managers are not our mothers. I think the management skill nobody talks about is how managers should realize they are part of a team and their focus should be on whatever the team's goal is, not in finding the perfect way to apologize. As the article says: "Your job is to ship working software that adds real value to users, to help your team grow, and to create an environment where peo…
> I couldn't give a rat's ass if a manager doesn't apologize to me in a way that makes my eyes water, admitting his humanity in the process, if that manager doesn't insist on making the same mistake and getting in my way all the time.
But this is part of the point, while for you that might not matter, your manager cannot assume this. Other people DO care.
One of the ways your manager can mess us is by assuming you don't care about that...
Re: All managers make mistakes; good managers acknowledge and repair
#50This is not just about management but life overall. You will mess up with the people you love -- and repair is the way to go there as well.
Absolutely, EVERYONE needs to figure out how to benefit from their mistakes rather than try to sweep them under the rug. This is one recurring theme I bring up with my kids: If you don't learn from your mistakes, you've made two mistakes. It is really hard to say "I messed up", but you can't live your life acting like you don't make mistakes. Learn from your mistakes, and then move on.