Quite a lot of factual inaccuracies here.
> He meant what we now call the middle class.
Capitalists according to Marx are those that own the means of production, not the middle class.
> larger land owners were mostly outside of cities, and were well on the way to inevitable bankruptcy
He saw them as a declining class that would eventually merge with the industrial bourgeoisie. He didn’t predict their inevitable bankruptcy.
> quite a few governments in his time were individuals or families, but he didn't see them as the enemy, kind of, but not as the "source" of the evil of capitalism
Again, inaccurate. His view is that the state is an apparatus of the capitalist class structured to protect its property and interests. The state and the uber-rich are the primary enemies of the working class, in his view.
> Soviets initially offered to make Tsar Nicolas II the leader of international socialism. Only when he kept refusing did he become the enemy.
Citation needed. Are you just fabricating things? The Bolsheviks ideology was based on the idea that there would be a proletarian revolution that would dismantle the old capitalist and aristocratic order, which the Tsar represented.
> that wasn't true communism" argument!
There are many different varieties of socialism and communism. In fact many societies long into pre-recorded history have been peaceful, leaderless and without money - communist. Yet it would be a mistake to call those societies Stalinist for example.
> get everyone to work and back each day on rocket powered trams. Seriously.
Soviet plans were never that fantastical. Fabrication.
> the godess Gaia is a Titan who massacred, and then ate people. Men, women, children. Especially children
Gaia isn’t typically represented that way. She is not a Titan but mother of the Titans. Maybe you are thinking of Kronos.