Any idea which dating app Paul Gonsolin is talking about here? This is a lot of data.
What really happens inside a dating app
41–50 of 373 posts
Re: What really happens inside a dating app
#42Interesting data in the article though nothing unexpected for people who follow this space. Some notable points: > The other thing that interests you is the like ratio, or the openness, among 100 profiles that the user sees, how many of them does he like? (The median for men is 26% and for women is 4%.) >The like ratio of a girl is almost independent of the profiles she sees. For example, if a girl has a like ratio o…
I have a theory for the swiping behavior of women. When they swipe right, it will most likely be a match, and they mentally don't want more than X active conversations at a time. This strikes me as rational and reasonable. For men, most swipes will not be a match, so less reason to ever think about swiping left to maintain a certain swipe pecentage. Just a theory!
Another theory: when you swipe and don't get a match, that could be considered a rejection and women are worse at handling rejection (probably due to never having to learn to deal with it). Men, on the other hand, have to learn to accept rejection so little is felt when almost all swipes don't match.
Re: What really happens inside a dating app
#43The data here falls in line with the infamous OKcupid study (which got cancelled and taken down because men and women are identical, donchaknow?) The takeaway is that humans best date by meeting people in person through mutual acquaintances. Without the forced direct social interaction, women are only interested in the top 10% of guys, and guys are just aimlessly running at anything that moves regardless of their act…
Men are dying of thirst in the desert and women are dying of thirst in the ocean. (not my analogy, but IMO very succinct)
More like dying of thirst in lake Baikal, if the analogy meant abundance of choice. Desert and ocean both contain no drinkable water.
Re: What really happens inside a dating app
#44This is such a detailed article but it's giving me weird vibes. For instance there are all these drops to near-zero in the histograms at .28, .46, .56 for no clear reason, and the article doesn't even consider that noteworthy. The "Men Like ratio (y) vs ratio (x)" has an inexplicable wall around .33 which I could only explain with some sort of product limitation maybe? But I really wish it was explained what artifact…
Definitely points to some rounding error, aliasing in the data. It would be fixed by making the buckets larger. No reason for the buckets to be that small.
Re: What really happens inside a dating app
#45There is a truly fascinating talk by a data scientist who "hacked" the "algorithm" of a dating site and became the most matched person in californina. Highly recommended. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJod9kRYyao
Yea, hacker mindset is what I applied with Tinder. It worked wonders, went from 1 to 100 matches per month. I feel like having a hacker mindset with dating in general works wonders. Oh, and not having social anxiety of course.
It took a long time to not have that.
Re: What really happens inside a dating app
#46This is really really cool insights into the industry and consumer behavior in general.
Going to save it to my google docs so I never lose it.
Re: What really happens inside a dating app
#47Earlier quoted context omitted.
Ugly by most standards is simply not being desired by anyone. You don't have to be an acid victim like two-face to be ugly. I'd say someone is definitely ugly if you swipe on a few hundred average looking people and get zero matches back. That's ugly.
> if you swipe on a few hundred average looking people and get zero matches back. That's ugly. What's ugly is using an anemometer to measure a distance. I mean, using number of matches in a dating app, to measure uglyness. Dating apps are products designed by psychologist and built by engineers to generate frustration and make people pay, not to serve as a measurement stick of the average person's attractiveness. Dat…
Can confirm from personal experience. Do not even think of installing Tinder as a male with intention not to pay. Tinder with platinum is frustrating enough for a male. In revenge, every relationship initiated with gold and platinum I threw out to the bin after some sex.
Re: What really happens inside a dating app
#48I'm not going to go into details as I don't want to create a throwaway account for HN, but I can attribute a lot of people's feelings in dating apps to a few things. I got an email from Bumble a few years ago that said I was in the top x percent of people swiped on. If you try to brute force stats your way to dating apps, you will fail.... to some extent. A lot of this comes down to looks that you can control, and lo…
>I've heard horror stories from both men and women from online dating, and I've only had great exeriences from it. Some people find me attractive, and at the time I was very active and fit, so I usually got past the swipe test.
How old are you / how long ago was this? I've been active on-and-off on the apps for the past year; and once you are over the hump of getting consistent matches I feel like the apps create poor behavior that really isn't measured by these companies.
I think being stuck in "situationships" is something that doesn't come out of the data but is caused by dating apps. It's very hard for me to get people to commit (or worse, just give me a hard no), which led me to casting a wider net. Potential partners are reluctant to tell me "I don't like you", and will either ghost or just keep playing along because it's something to do. I started to adjust my behavior by dating multiple people at a time - this eased the sting of wasting time on someone but then I became less sure if I wanted to commit to someone (e.g. I need a date to event X, I'll give Alice 2 weeks, and she doesn't respond so I ask Bobette day of, which pisses Bobette off because she feels like a second option).
I've also had issues where women rarely advertise upfront what they want is a hookup (for obvious reasons), but then I spend 2-3 weeks courting a woman who doesn't have the guts to tell me she didn't see a future with me.
If your goal is a long term relationship, even if you get matches, it's still a mess and I feel the whole rating curve distracts from that.
Re: What really happens inside a dating app
#49> To me, if you are a guy on a dating app and your pictures are not taken by a professional photographer then you are losing your time, and if you are paying you are also throwing your money. Don't do this. You need good pictures that convey attractiveness (looks, as well as personality). Using professional photos conveys neediness & a level of desperation hidden under a shell of an ego the shot tries to portray. So…
What you really want is candid pictures taken in good light with an 85mm lens. I had a few like that taken by friends and they were successful. Paying someone to take plandid pictures seems lame, but if you don't have a friend with a good camera then what are you going to do?
Re: What really happens inside a dating app
#50Earlier quoted context omitted.
Men are dying of thirst in the desert and women are dying of thirst in the ocean. (not my analogy, but IMO very succinct)
More like dying of thirst in lake Baikal, if the analogy meant abundance of choice. Desert and ocean both contain no drinkable water.
the implication is that they have a lot of water but it's unpalatable or toxic most of the time and needs filtering I think - easy matches but most of them bad?