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Starting Hospice

jakeseliger.com

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Re: Starting Hospice

#41

Post by dthrowaway819 »

jseliger wrote: post #2

Hacker News, thank you for all the links and all the great reading. Now I have to say goodbye. I’m with my wife Bess ( https://bessstillman.substack.com/ ) and my brother Sam, and crying, but it is okay. At the end of Lord of the Rings Gandalf says to the hobbits, "Go in peace! I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil.” And that is how I feel now. Ending prematurely hurts, but all things must end, a…

Hey this might be kind of a weird thing to say but screw it. I’ve been suicidal recently and seriously considered ending my life. One reason I have decided to hold on and get help is inspiring stories like your own. I look at how much dignity, energy, and love you have espoused even while having a terminal illness and I feel ashamed. Some people out there have been given so little and done amazing things with it, and I’ve been given so much and done nothing. In this strange way I feel like I owe you something even though you’re a stranger on the Internet. I want to be someone like you who is strong. Just wanted to let you know that.

Re: Starting Hospice

#42

Post by swombat »

dthrowaway819 wrote: post #41
jseliger wrote: post #2

Hacker News, thank you for all the links and all the great reading. Now I have to say goodbye. I’m with my wife Bess ( https://bessstillman.substack.com/ ) and my brother Sam, and crying, but it is okay. At the end of Lord of the Rings Gandalf says to the hobbits, "Go in peace! I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil.” And that is how I feel now. Ending prematurely hurts, but all things must end, a…

Hey this might be kind of a weird thing to say but screw it. I’ve been suicidal recently and seriously considered ending my life. One reason I have decided to hold on and get help is inspiring stories like your own. I look at how much dignity, energy, and love you have espoused even while having a terminal illness and I feel ashamed. Some people out there have been given so little and done amazing things with it, and…

With love, please consider - the "shame" you're describing is really something else in a mask.

Perhaps... a longing? Maybe this stranger has helped you find the place where you do truly long for life.

Let the feeling be. Don't label it shame. Don't label it longing. Just let it be. Give it space. Cry if you feel like it. Laugh if you feel like it. Just feel it.

And when you're ready to speak about this with others, there will be many, many willing to be there for you. You are loved.

Re: Starting Hospice

#43

Post by mjdiloreto »

swombat wrote: post #42
dthrowaway819 wrote: post #41

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Hey this might be kind of a weird thing to say but screw it. I’ve been suicidal recently and seriously considered ending my life. One reason I have decided to hold on and get help is inspiring stories like your own. I look at how much dignity, energy, and love you have espoused even while having a terminal illness and I feel ashamed. Some people out there have been given so little and done amazing things with it, and…

With love, please consider - the "shame" you're describing is really something else in a mask. Perhaps... a longing? Maybe this stranger has helped you find the place where you do truly long for life. Let the feeling be. Don't label it shame. Don't label it longing. Just let it be. Give it space. Cry if you feel like it. Laugh if you feel like it. Just feel it. And when you're ready to speak about this with others, t…

Another perspective: shame can be good. Feel it. Shame for who you are can light a fire in you, can propel you into transformation. Shame for one's past self is normal, if one has undergone any growth, and in time one may forgive himself. But not now, not when you know yourself and you see all the ways you are lacking. Not when you are so wholly disappointed in your life that you want to end it. _Longing_ for a different life will not result in change. Shame, and deeply ruminating on it can. In time you will transform and can forgive the past self you are ashamed of, but not now in your time of desperate need.

Re: Starting Hospice

#44

Post by A_D_E_P_T »

jseliger wrote: post #2

Hacker News, thank you for all the links and all the great reading. Now I have to say goodbye. I’m with my wife Bess ( https://bessstillman.substack.com/ ) and my brother Sam, and crying, but it is okay. At the end of Lord of the Rings Gandalf says to the hobbits, "Go in peace! I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil.” And that is how I feel now. Ending prematurely hurts, but all things must end, a…

Your fighting spirit and clarity of mind have been an inspiration. Very few patients struggle on their own behalves as you and Bess have done -- and in such a flawed and labyrinthine medical-regulatory environment. Thank you for writing about it... I only wish they had made things easier for you. And I hope that the coming days bring peace and comfort.

Re: Starting Hospice

#46

Post by [deleted] »

dthrowaway819 wrote: post #41
jseliger wrote: post #2

Hacker News, thank you for all the links and all the great reading. Now I have to say goodbye. I’m with my wife Bess ( https://bessstillman.substack.com/ ) and my brother Sam, and crying, but it is okay. At the end of Lord of the Rings Gandalf says to the hobbits, "Go in peace! I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil.” And that is how I feel now. Ending prematurely hurts, but all things must end, a…

Hey this might be kind of a weird thing to say but screw it. I’ve been suicidal recently and seriously considered ending my life. One reason I have decided to hold on and get help is inspiring stories like your own. I look at how much dignity, energy, and love you have espoused even while having a terminal illness and I feel ashamed. Some people out there have been given so little and done amazing things with it, and…

[deleted]

Re: Starting Hospice

#47

Post by toomuchtodo »

jseliger wrote: post #2

Hacker News, thank you for all the links and all the great reading. Now I have to say goodbye. I’m with my wife Bess ( https://bessstillman.substack.com/ ) and my brother Sam, and crying, but it is okay. At the end of Lord of the Rings Gandalf says to the hobbits, "Go in peace! I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil.” And that is how I feel now. Ending prematurely hurts, but all things must end, a…

Take care Jake. It was a privilege to follow along, and I wish you peace on your journey.

Re: Starting Hospice

#48

Post by j_bum »

Rest easy. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Your words have made a wide impact on this corner of the internet, and I’m lucky to have experienced them.

Re: Starting Hospice

#49

Post by dredmorbius »

jseliger wrote: post #2

Hacker News, thank you for all the links and all the great reading. Now I have to say goodbye. I’m with my wife Bess ( https://bessstillman.substack.com/ ) and my brother Sam, and crying, but it is okay. At the end of Lord of the Rings Gandalf says to the hobbits, "Go in peace! I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil.” And that is how I feel now. Ending prematurely hurts, but all things must end, a…

Thanks for everything you've written, it will be a useful legacy to many.

Take care of you and yours as you can. My thoughts are with you and Bess who has been a true champion through your ordeal.

Re: Starting Hospice

#50

Post by zuckerma »

popupeyecare wrote: post #38
jseliger wrote: post #2

Hacker News, thank you for all the links and all the great reading. Now I have to say goodbye. I’m with my wife Bess ( https://bessstillman.substack.com/ ) and my brother Sam, and crying, but it is okay. At the end of Lord of the Rings Gandalf says to the hobbits, "Go in peace! I will not say: do not weep; for not all tears are an evil.” And that is how I feel now. Ending prematurely hurts, but all things must end, a…

Thank you. You don't know me but your story and life has had a profound impact on my perspective on what’s important. Thank you.

Amen.
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