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Things I Should Have Known at 20

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Re: Things I Should Have Known at 20

#41

Post by dredmorbius »

a_bonobo wrote: post #36

I'm not a fan of speed reading. In my experience, "gulping down" a book instead of "savouring" it leads to a rough comprehension of what the book is trying to tell you, so if someone asks you'll be able to give a brief summary. But if you take your time (with a pencil) you'll be able to actually follow the person's trail of thought that went into writing what you're reading, ultimately helping you in making similar c…

On "fixing": ultimately, people don't get fixed. My experience is that they tend to become more of who they are with age. Looking back over people I've known for three and going on four decades, it's amazing how early the fundamentals of personality are laid down, though there can be substantial changes especially during adolescence and early adulthood. Past that, traumatic experiences (war, violence, drugs, abuse) can literally leave brain (and emotional) scars.

There's a huge difference between enjoying the eccentricities of someone, and trying to change/fix them. There's a large class of eccentrics who are very interesting/entertaining if you keep them at a modest distance, though they can be explosive or toxic/harmful if you get them too close.

The corollary is, of course, you're broken too to many people. The key is finding someone who's no more or less broken than you.

Re: Things I Should Have Known at 20

#42

Post by srl »

> Get a reminder app for everything

While I agree with the thrust of this suggestion (that if you leave everything up to memory, you'll miss out on some important opportunities), I've found I'm most productive if I let my subconscious pick what to work on next (with a little artificial bias towards working on long-term projects to counter the inevitable fatigue).

Re: Things I Should Have Known at 20

#43

Post by dfc »

crusso wrote: post #39
dfc wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How many adults talk about Alice being cooler than Bob? Furthermore ambitious and laid back? am·bi·tious (adjective) 1. Having or showing a strong desire and determination to succeed. 2. Intended to satisfy high aspirations and therefore difficult to achieve. laid back (adjective) 1. Relaxed or unhurried. 2. Free from stress; easygoing; carefree.

That apparent contradiction is really what makes cool so hard. It's not just about being amped up at 10 or being a bump on the log at 0. It's about being a 10 at where you're going while you make it look like you're at 0. You kick ass, but you make it look like it's easy and you're not trying. One of the best entrepreneurs I've ever worked with had that quality. The guy was focused like a laser on where he was going,…

I guess one of the reasons that being a "cool kid" does not appeal to me is that I'm not as interested in appearances/image.

Re: Things I Should Have Known at 20

#44

Post by dfc »

bretthoerner wrote: post #25
rauljara wrote: post #18

The list is all phrased as commands. I can't stand that. There is no one way through life, and I wish people didn't act like just because it worked for them it will work for everyone. Find people that are cooler than you and try to be even cooler than them seems like a particularly terrible command to give in general. So many of the people I admire the most just don't care so much about image. And I've met too many p…

Given the "I" in the title I'm pretty sure he's trying to speak to his past self.

But since it is not in his private diary it seems obvious that he is speaking to others.

Re: Things I Should Have Known at 20

#45

Post by jseliger »

raldi wrote: post #3

#21: Floating navbars are an abomination and make your site incredibly frustrating to read on a mobile device -- especially in landscape mode. At least put an X button on that thing.

They are still annoying even on a 27" iMac. ARGH! Don't make your site so non-standard in a bad, pointless way.

Your content is or should be the most important part. The rest of your blog should be subservient to the content.

Re: Things I Should Have Known at 20

#46

Post by SquareWheel »

"Shyness is the belief that your emotions should be the arbitrators of your decision making process when the opposite is actually true."

This is the very opposite of how I've been trying to live my life. I do not know what to think of that.

Re: Things I Should Have Known at 20

#47

Post by meiji »

crusso wrote: post #39
dfc wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How many adults talk about Alice being cooler than Bob? Furthermore ambitious and laid back? am·bi·tious (adjective) 1. Having or showing a strong desire and determination to succeed. 2. Intended to satisfy high aspirations and therefore difficult to achieve. laid back (adjective) 1. Relaxed or unhurried. 2. Free from stress; easygoing; carefree.

That apparent contradiction is really what makes cool so hard. It's not just about being amped up at 10 or being a bump on the log at 0. It's about being a 10 at where you're going while you make it look like you're at 0. You kick ass, but you make it look like it's easy and you're not trying. One of the best entrepreneurs I've ever worked with had that quality. The guy was focused like a laser on where he was going,…

"Cool" is undefinable and you also need to consider one thing. Look a the number of cool people you've known who are unsuccessful because they view being cool as a priority rather than other things in their lives. A lot of people I went to school with 20 years ago are in basically the same jobs they got when they left school. They earned money at that time which seemed amazing to people with no income, got to do more fun stuff because they had the money etc.

Fast forward 20 years and they're in the same place. Just the "uncool" kids have overtaken them by a long way.

It's about finding the RIGHT people to hang out with not just ones who seem cool. If you're 20, your idea of cool is different to when you're 35.

MY advice would be to hang around with people that challenge you because that is really what people need.

Re: Things I Should Have Known at 20

#48

Post by LordJavathe3rd »

Here is my list. The other person has a small mind, but you guys should already know that.

1. Burn bridges to the ground. People you grew up with are not the relationships you made after having decided what you will do with your life.

2. Leave your family behind, they will only drag you down.

3. Reinvent your field of interest. The methodoligies used to progress it to it's current level most certainly weren't through, accurate, or designed from a large perspective.

4. After you grow up from asking questions for other people to answer, begin to ask questions no one knows the answer to. Find answers to those questions which are important to you.

5. Look around you, observe the people of your city, observe how it was designed, learn why it is dysfunctional. People are stupid, so don't let them have any say so in your life.

6. Computer Science is largely untapped. It's a great field for thinkers and builders to make their own. We will soon have an intelligence explosion and those who are controlling it will reign supreme. Be one of those people.

7. Never ever depend on the analysis of another person. If someone is influential to you and it is affecting your decisions in life. Stop. Learn enough of what you think they know in order to make better assessments.

Re: Things I Should Have Known at 20

#50

Post by jakejake »

DigitalSea wrote: post #28

The only way to succeed in life is to fail. This article reads like it is a definite list of commands and rules to abide by for a great life forgoing the fact that no two lives are the same. There are a few good tid-bits of info in this article, but if there is one thing in life you should know it's you will fail and thinking that learning from the mistakes of others will safeguard you from failure is a sure fire way…

That is true advice and you can actually accomplish a lot by adjusting your attitude about failure. I personally try to consider something a success as long as I attempt it - regardless of the actual outcome. If I don't even try, that is failure to me. If I try and it doesn't work - that's still a success because I made an attempt and most likely learned something along the way.
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