Hacker News Board Hacker News, browsed like a classic message board
Live data from Hacker News

Ambitious but at peace

jugheadjones10.github.io

Post reply on HN
Print view View original

41–50 of 66 posts

Re: Ambitious but at peace

#41

Post by [deleted] »

worldsayshi wrote: post #35
arvinjoar wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"it would be cool if ..." runs into "but effort" and dies, while "it sucks that ..." is something that gnaws at you

Effort seems to be a quite malleable kind of experience. It can be enjoyed or despised depending on how you've trained your impulses around that certain kind of effort. This further speaks to using the "it would be cool if ..." narrative. Trying to build upon "it sucks that ..." seems to create a bunch of weird self sabotaging behaviours in my experience. Since I tried moving away from that I've found it easier to mo…

[deleted]

Re: Ambitious but at peace

#42

Post by delichon »

worldsayshi wrote: post #35
arvinjoar wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"it would be cool if ..." runs into "but effort" and dies, while "it sucks that ..." is something that gnaws at you

Effort seems to be a quite malleable kind of experience. It can be enjoyed or despised depending on how you've trained your impulses around that certain kind of effort. This further speaks to using the "it would be cool if ..." narrative. Trying to build upon "it sucks that ..." seems to create a bunch of weird self sabotaging behaviours in my experience. Since I tried moving away from that I've found it easier to mo…

> carrot instead of a stick

But wanting the carrot and not wanting to get hit are both kinds of discontent. The donkey is dissatisfied at not having the carrot so it pulls the cart that would otherwise be still.

Re: Ambitious but at peace

#43

Post by saalweachter »

wrs wrote: post #38

I will humbly restate this advice slightly based on 2-3X the life experience: Don’t have “end goals”. There’s no way to be satisfied with that approach. Either you reach the end and haven’t achieved them (you’re a “failure”), or you achieve them but aren’t at the end (now what?). Instead, have a direction , or preferably more than one. Strive to make progress in those directions and celebrate your progress. If you en…

"Journey before destination"?

Re: Ambitious but at peace

#45

Post by munificent »

delichon wrote: post #17

This attempts to disassociate fuel from acceleration. Your dissatisfaction is the fuel. You can't dump fuel and maintain the same potential energy. If you manage that it would be the motivational equivalent of a reactionless drive. As is, our propulsion is found in our discontent. Most of us can burn it a lot more efficiently though.

Going with that analogy, there are a lot of different fuels you can use. Using dissatisfaction or self-loathing may be an effective fuel, but it tends to be like putting NOS in your engine. You can go really fast, but you are likely doing long-term damage to the engine or risking catastrophic failure. Perhaps a good strategy for a 30-second street race, but not a good one for a cross-country road trip.

Most things in life are more like the latter than the former, and most people eventually figure out that it's better to motivate yourself using compassion for yourself and others instead of anger.

That being said, most people who accomplish much do seem to mix some amount of nitrous in their tank. Just don't overdo it.

Re: Ambitious but at peace

#46

Post by bedobi »

reminds me of this essay, a favorite of mine

> ...there’s a deeper reason... so many people don’t have hobbies: We’re afraid of being bad at them. If you’re a jogger, it is no longer enough to cruise around the block; you’re training for the next marathon... When your identity is linked to your hobby — you’re a yogi, a surfer, a rock climber — you’d better be good at it, or else who are you? Lost here is the gentle pursuit of a modest competence, the doing of something just because you enjoy it, not because you are good at it... It steals from us one of life’s greatest rewards — the simple pleasure of doing something you merely, but truly, enjoy.

https://archive.is/2I3T4

it's about hobbies but frankly many people can probably use adopting a similar mindset about work, relationships etc (if you love and enjoy your partner, what does it matter they're not perfect?) (if you're competent in your work and it pays the bills, what does it matter if you're not the "rock star" of the company or the CEO of Google or what have you?)

there's nothing wrong with ambition and having goals, but social media is constantly shoving the best of the best in everything in our faces and implying we need to be that person or we're less than

but we don't and we're not, lol

Re: Ambitious but at peace

#47

Post by ericmcer »

"I'm glad I chose mediocrity, but how am I to say what reward might have come with the other? None of my children will be great either, except perhaps Tom. He's suffering over the choosing right now. It's a painful thing to watch."

- East of Eden

That whole book is filled with passages about the exact conflict this article is addressing.

Regarding the article: Life is sprinting sometimes, other times its crawling and sometimes you might just be sitting still. That is just how it goes, it will definitely not be a marathon or any other consistent or predictable metaphor.

Re: Ambitious but at peace

#48

Post by smusamashah »

wrs wrote: post #38

I will humbly restate this advice slightly based on 2-3X the life experience: Don’t have “end goals”. There’s no way to be satisfied with that approach. Either you reach the end and haven’t achieved them (you’re a “failure”), or you achieve them but aren’t at the end (now what?). Instead, have a direction , or preferably more than one. Strive to make progress in those directions and celebrate your progress. If you en…

I have learned some time ago that goals are mere milestones. I have found myself not being happy/excited enough (as in how I see others get excited on things) when I get something. It's very short lived, I find myself more excited 'before' getting it then 'on' getting it. I get the thing, it may or may not have changed the world for me at all, now what, repeat.

Re: Ambitious but at peace

#49

Post by feynman69 »

ericmcer wrote: post #47

"I'm glad I chose mediocrity, but how am I to say what reward might have come with the other? None of my children will be great either, except perhaps Tom. He's suffering over the choosing right now. It's a painful thing to watch." - East of Eden That whole book is filled with passages about the exact conflict this article is addressing. Regarding the article: Life is sprinting sometimes, other times its crawling and…

Wow, I've had that book on my to-read list for as long as I can remember. I guess I should read it.

Re: Ambitious but at peace

#50

Post by gottorf »

wrs wrote: post #38

I will humbly restate this advice slightly based on 2-3X the life experience: Don’t have “end goals”. There’s no way to be satisfied with that approach. Either you reach the end and haven’t achieved them (you’re a “failure”), or you achieve them but aren’t at the end (now what?). Instead, have a direction , or preferably more than one. Strive to make progress in those directions and celebrate your progress. If you en…

> Don’t have “end goals”.

> Instead, have a direction, or preferably more than one. Strive to make progress in those directions and celebrate your progress.

I like putting the same concept in these terms: most things in life are a process, not a state.

Post reply on HN