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Don't Just Say "Hello" in Chat

nohello.com

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Re: Don't Just Say "Hello" in Chat

#41

Post by Chris2048 »

gregoriol wrote: post #15
Chris2048 wrote: post #7

The other person isn't necessarily waiting for the response. At the least, its a communication that you are about to ask them something, i.e. check back here in the next minute or so while I type out my question. Also, "Hi" is a good way of finding out if a person is present, sometimes you might ask to call them instead of typing your question. It also might be the case there are multiple people who can answer the qu…

Chat is natively async: you don't need to know if people are there to ask a question, they might answer at any point in the next few minutes or hours. If you do post just "hi" in a message, your question should come within seconds after.

true, but the same is true for email.

I use IM as more informal, (AND/)OR conversations with likely back-and-forth, that may require the other person to be present to be of use.

Re: Don't Just Say "Hello" in Chat

#42

Post by smeej »

ano-ther wrote: post #21

I think the problem is that the receiver wants to be polite and answer. And the sender wants to be polite and not interrupt[1]. So the extended etiquette is: if you don’t have time, it’s ok to not reply. [1] There’s also the concern that your message appears on someone’s shared screen during a video call.

Person sharing the screen is 100% responsible for making sure such notifications are turned off, not the other person sending the message.

Re: Don't Just Say "Hello" in Chat

#44

Post by dimask »

mysterydip wrote: post #36
pavlov wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How do you know it takes three seconds for the other party to continue the conversation they started? It can just as well go like this: - Bob writes "Hi" and I get a notification - I enter the chat and wait for Bob - 30 seconds later the indicator shows he's typing something - 30 seconds later, still nothing - 30 seconds later the typing indicator goes away - I go away. Eventually Bob follows up with the actual conte…

While I agree that's frustrating, you can be doing something else in that 90 seconds, can't you? Normally chats give a notification of some sort when there's a response. And by taking that long, Bob can't be expecting an immediate reply.

> you can be doing something else in that 90 seconds, can't you?

If I get distracted from my task, not really, or at least not as focused as I was before the "hi". Except if it is something like the beginning of the day, where it does not matter much.

Re: Don't Just Say "Hello" in Chat

#45

Post by smeej »

supermatt wrote: post #17

I much prefer when people acknowledge my availability first. Otherwise, if i am busy or unavailable and they then end up answering their own question, i would be wasting more cognitive effort to answer it than i would than to respond to a "hello".

The whole point if async messaging is that you'll reply when you're available. It's built into the system itself.

There's no reason to add delays on both sides so people can hope they finally overlap and can have a synchronous chat. If that's what you want, just ask for a time for it in the initial message.

Re: Don't Just Say "Hello" in Chat

#46

Post by reg_dunlop »

Chris2048 wrote: post #32
smeej wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you might ask to call, just ask to call. "Hi! I have a question about X that would be easier to explain on a call. Do you have time to hop on a call for 5 mins?" is a better way to start the conversation by a factor of about 10,000. You can even send this to 3 or 4 people and let anyone who doesn't respond first say you caught so-and-so first and are good to go now. Or just delete the message.

I would not send out multiple "Do you have time to hop on a call for 5 mins?" b/c then they might call me before I delete the message.

You don't have to answer every call you receive.

Then, you could send another completely Async communique detailing why you did not answer, which would then teach the other person to respond with a yes/no/silence/emoji, etc

Re: Don't Just Say "Hello" in Chat

#47

Post by vundercind »

throwaway598 wrote: post #4

> It's as if you called someone on the phone and said "Hi!" and then put them on hold! Typically you both say a greeting then a conversation starts. > Instead of being polite, you are just making the other person wait for you to phrase your question, which is lost productivity. Please don't count every second of your life in productivity lost to someone else. The root of the problem might be frustration with not gett…

If you just write “hi” I can’t tell at a glance if this is something I need to respond to as soon as I notice it, or if it can wait a few minutes while I finish something else. I can’t tell if it’ll probably take 20 seconds to sort out, or if I’m likely to be derailed for an hour, which may also affect how and when I respond.

That’s why it’s a shitty thing to do.

Re: Don't Just Say "Hello" in Chat

#48

Post by CipherThrowaway »

throwaway598 wrote: post #4

> It's as if you called someone on the phone and said "Hi!" and then put them on hold! Typically you both say a greeting then a conversation starts. > Instead of being polite, you are just making the other person wait for you to phrase your question, which is lost productivity. Please don't count every second of your life in productivity lost to someone else. The root of the problem might be frustration with not gett…

The difference is absolutely not 3 seconds. That's just the lower bound.

In the case that both people are present and available in the chat at the same time, sure, it's 3 seconds. If not, that extra "hi" can add latency of hours or more. Days if schedules and availability line up badly enough.

In the delay introduced by "hi", you've created uncertainty and ambiguity for your counterpart. They have no idea whether your "hi" is the prelude to something trivial, or something important, or whether it might might be relevant to work they were about to start.

"Asking to ask" is far from the biggest communication issue in the workplace, but it is bad etiquette and a very easy behavior to correct - so why not just make the barest effort to adjust the way you communicate to better fit the medium? Save the "Hi"s and "How are you"s for synchronous communication like calls or meetings. Chat has a different set of pleasantries.

Re: Don't Just Say "Hello" in Chat

#49

Post by [deleted] »

throwaway598 wrote: post #4

> It's as if you called someone on the phone and said "Hi!" and then put them on hold! Typically you both say a greeting then a conversation starts. > Instead of being polite, you are just making the other person wait for you to phrase your question, which is lost productivity. Please don't count every second of your life in productivity lost to someone else. The root of the problem might be frustration with not gett…

[deleted]
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