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The adult consequences of being bullied in childhood

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Re: The adult consequences of being bullied in childhood

#41

Post by rmason »

teeray wrote: post #10

Adults would be allowed to have restraining orders on their abusers. Children just have to see them every day.

We have a case locally where a high school boy assaulted a female classmate then tried a second time and was expelled. The boys parents were prominent county employees and they waged a campaign to have him reinstated and were successful.

The female student had a personal protection order against the boy. The school apparently feels that this doesn't apply when he is in school and it was the girls responsibility to avoid the boy.

https://www.lansingstatejournal.com/story/news/local/educati...

Re: The adult consequences of being bullied in childhood

#42

Post by alwa »

Areading314 wrote: post #30
d--b wrote: post #26

Is there a study that compares the difference in bullying between countries? I have a feeling that bullying was/is particularly common and more violent in the UK compared to the rest of the world. I am from France, and I always found the portraiture of bullying in English culture quite foreign to me. Repeated beatings, total humiliation, stalking, all these horrific behaviors did seem fairly established in the UK, wh…

Nope very common all over the world

I’m curious, what’s the basis for that claim? I’m surprised to learn that the constellation, incidence rate, and intensity of bullying behaviors don’t vary along sociocultural lines. Do you mean that there are no examples of areas or situations that have been more successful than others at addressing these kinds of youth behaviors?

Re: The adult consequences of being bullied in childhood

#43

Post by lowdest »

boringuser2 wrote: post #11
klipt wrote: post #9

There's the issue of correlation vs causation here. There is no controlled experiment where children are randomly assigned to control or test group and those in the test group are bullied (that would be unethical). It's plausible there are many root factors that contribute both to negative life outcomes, and also increase the chance of being bullied. E.g. being disabled, or autistic, or even just ugly. That would cau…

This is the obvious issue. It's reasonable to assume that kids whom are bullied have socially undesirable qualities vis-a-vis kids who are not bullied. Kids with socially undesirable qualities are obviously more likely to become adults with socially undesirable qualities. There's no reason to think those people wouldn't perform worse when they are literally selected for negative qualities.

Yes, socially undesirable qualities like being smaller than other children because they were pushed forward a year for being bright. Or because they wear a discount brand of clothing. Or because they were called a mocking name that rhymed and therefore stuck for years. Or because of jealously. Or because their father had to fire another child's father from their job.

Re: The adult consequences of being bullied in childhood

#44

Post by JackMorgan »

vundercind wrote: post #33
teeray wrote: post #10

Adults would be allowed to have restraining orders on their abusers. Children just have to see them every day.

Shit some kids pull would get them kicked out of even a very permissive and/or dysfunctional workplace. On the off chance it didn’t, adults can at least try to find another job, and likely can manage to if they really want to escape the most-unpleasant personalities. They’ve got options. Kids are stuck with the same assholes and abusers for years . Add an environment on par with the most infamous workplaces (“you hav…

This right here is why I'd never send my kids to a traditional school. It's absolutely horrifying what we make our most vulnerable, impressionable, and emotionally immature members of society go through.

I used to be a school teacher and quit because I could not stand to see the institutional cruelty. The crazy part to me is when I try to talk about this to other adults they just look at me like I'm crazy. Because it's free childcare. And, "well, I turned out just fine", spoken by an anxious, unhealthy drone who hates their life of quiet desperation.

See https://cantrip.org/gatto.html for more

Re: The adult consequences of being bullied in childhood

#45

Post by sublinear »

zepolen wrote: post #23
HeOwnsTwitter wrote: post #2

Yep, age 7 and 11 were peak bullying ages. Verbal and physical abuse, scapegoating. Ignored and blamed by administration. Parents from an era where “boys will be boys”. Now: Homeless and broke. Out of work for a long time. I let people shit all over me, even in adulthood. I was told that adulthood would be different. In fact, it was the same as childhood, but more insidious. I pray for death being unable to commit su…

[flagged]

You're not wrong. I get where you're coming from, but it's easier said than done especially if you didn't grow up with parents who teach that.

I used to be quite the doormat growing up. I wasn't bullied as much as just non-confrontational. I didn't grow up with much so didn't want to rock the boat. I didn't want my adult life to be like the broke and dumb people around me. That strategy worked okay for a while, but I was never happy.

It wasn't until I felt like I had accomplished something with my life that I could relax and trust my capabilities. The confidence came slowly and I still struggle with this. What keeps me working on it is realizing when I defend myself I'm usually also defending others around me. We should do more to help each other and stand up to bullies at every stage of life.

Re: The adult consequences of being bullied in childhood

#47

Post by gomijacogeo »

h4ch1 wrote: post #31

Not bullied in school since I could usually hold my own, but bullied by my father throughout my life. Being in a country where parental corporal punishment is normal, even encouraged, I was hit for minor to major (getting bad marks, staying out late to play with friends) events all throughout my life till I could save up enough to move out when I was 18. It took me my entire college life to get over the feeling of dr…

Yeah, my dad was my first bully too. First at my mom and then shifted towards me once I got old enough to have independent thoughts and interests (around 6-7). Led to me being a twitchy, withdrawn kid which garnered more negative attention at school.
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