What if one person has significantly more money than the other person? Prenups exist for a reason
In many places, you don't. Washington State all property is 50/50. Half my income is my wife's, even though I make 800k and she makes nothing. I dunno, the idea that you are willing to make a commitment to someone for the rest of your life but also try to hold back money from them is so alien.
Even though Washington is a community property state, you can still have a prenup agreeing that your two incomes will be separate property, if you so wish and if you execute it correctly.
I don't understand couples that keep separate finances. When you get married its "we" and not "me". It seems like keeping one foot out the door. Note: I've been married for 23 years with everything tracked in joint accounts the entire time but we do have a small "fun money" monthly budget item for each of us that is a black box.
What if one person has significantly more money than the other person? Prenups exist for a reason
In the states I'm familiar with, that's largely just gonna cover pre-existing assets, and you need to be talking about a large initial discrepancy (millions or more) probably to make it worthwhile. I've also been advised that it's easier to do something more like "the prenup will say you'd get 10%, but you revoke your claim to trying to get more" than some sort of "it's all mine!!" - it needs to be non-coercive and give both parties consideration and a reason to make the agreement. Lawyers told me that there's a often a big difference in that world between "what a lawyer might be willing to write up and get people to sign" and "what's gonna hold up in court."
My wife and I recently started sharing an Apple Card with combined lines of credit and it makes tracking monthly expenses so much easier than having two independent cards. We also share a bank account and mortgage, but have our own investment accounts
People that choose to keep separate finances seem like the exception rather than the norm. So you'd find way more people in the shared bucket than not.
Personally, I grew up watching my parents relationship crumble over finances and long since had a very sour taste to it. So I always vowed to keep mine separate. We do keep a shared account together that we pool money into it so that when either of us retire or get sick, we'd have this to fall back on later in life. We have an agreement on putting the same amount of money into this shared account and then have whatever is left over to do as we please. Worst cast we end our relationship and can then easily take our half back out without feeling cheated.
I don't understand couples that keep separate finances. When you get married its "we" and not "me". It seems like keeping one foot out the door. Note: I've been married for 23 years with everything tracked in joint accounts the entire time but we do have a small "fun money" monthly budget item for each of us that is a black box.
Because joint accounts have always seemed weird and controlling to me? I don’t want my wife to have to “check in” when she wants to buy something. She can spend her money on whatever she wants. We split the bills according to our income (more or less) and discuss saving more when we know larger expenses like a trip or home improvements are on the horizon. I don’t need access to her checking accounts or credit cards b…
You're thinking all the money of both people has to go in the same join account, but that's not the case. You can have a "for the bills" join account, and then each person has their own separate account. Every month each person transfer a certain amount to the joint account to cover the bills (50/50, 70/30, whatever split works for them). Any other money is spent in the person's own account and has nothing to do with the other, no need for controlling or justifying.
I don't understand couples that keep separate finances. When you get married its "we" and not "me". It seems like keeping one foot out the door. Note: I've been married for 23 years with everything tracked in joint accounts the entire time but we do have a small "fun money" monthly budget item for each of us that is a black box.
Because joint accounts have always seemed weird and controlling to me? I don’t want my wife to have to “check in” when she wants to buy something. She can spend her money on whatever she wants. We split the bills according to our income (more or less) and discuss saving more when we know larger expenses like a trip or home improvements are on the horizon. I don’t need access to her checking accounts or credit cards b…
To add, I don't want only one person the relationship to know how to manage money. If I pass away, I don't want my partner to be unable to take care of our kids because I did all the budgeting and investing.
How about each agreeing to contribute to a joint checking account per month. Like $5K each per month to the joint account. For those of us who own our own business or are self-employed, my business account is mine, and my partner's business account is hers.
This might seem antagonist, I don’t mean it to be so, but does your proposal not assume both parties make well over 150k a year in salary to contribute such a large sum on a monthly basis with anything to spare?
I don't understand couples that keep separate finances. When you get married its "we" and not "me". It seems like keeping one foot out the door. Note: I've been married for 23 years with everything tracked in joint accounts the entire time but we do have a small "fun money" monthly budget item for each of us that is a black box.
I see joint accounts as snooping into each other's affairs. People should be able to have a large degree of independence. Maybe this study says otherwise. I still think that it is prudent to keep separate accounts, even if we are "unhappier".
Maybe I’m in a bubble, and this doesn’t take away from the value of researching the question, but whom does this surprise? The question of the purpose, value, and content of marriage is certainly in flux at the moment, but to me, a relatively cosmopolitan (currently) single young man, there is no topic the traditionally included are more correct about than marriage.
I once heard sociology research described as the field that proves with statistics what everyone knows with common sense
Well that depends on what counts as your “common sense”. When you consider the wildly different political beliefs people have, there is simply no way that statement is true. A software developer from Silicon Valley is probably going to think about things differently than a farmer from Louisiana for example.