41–50 of 65 posts
I always encouraged my son to follow his own interests, but exposed him to what I was into. Once he got to high school and started taking "computer science" he really opened up to it and became passionate about it on his own terms. This was amazing to watch unfold and really morphed our relationship into something even more special. Unfortunately the universe decided it was his time to and he passed away a few weeks…
I always encouraged my son to follow his own interests, but exposed him to what I was into. Once he got to high school and started taking "computer science" he really opened up to it and became passionate about it on his own terms. This was amazing to watch unfold and really morphed our relationship into something even more special. Unfortunately the universe decided it was his time to and he passed away a few weeks…
I always encouraged my son to follow his own interests, but exposed him to what I was into. Once he got to high school and started taking "computer science" he really opened up to it and became passionate about it on his own terms. This was amazing to watch unfold and really morphed our relationship into something even more special. Unfortunately the universe decided it was his time to and he passed away a few weeks…
This is my nightmare :( I'm so sorry
To the OP: I am so very sorry for your loss.
>I have to study politics and war so that my sons can study mathematics, commerce and agriculture, so their sons can study poetry, painting and music. - John Adams I do soulless and artless crap like programming so my kids maybe don't have to. I'm doing it to acquire "fuck you money" so my kids can come out of the womb saying "fuck you" and then they can go pursue more virtuous, noble, artful things.
I have plenty friends who do art or art-adjacent things (such as design) as a full-time job, and some of them are actually doing quite ok financially (even among non-design people). Let me tell you, working a full-time employment in those fields tends to be a soul-suck to the level you cannot even probably imagine. You know, quite often (but not always), how exciting and fun programming for your own side-projects feels in comparison to programming for pay? With "more artful things", it is just like that, but with an even higher gap of suckiness. Of course, unless you are in the top 1% (or maybe even 0.1%) of the art world in terms of career success.
I am not saying that your child shouldn't choose "more virtuous, noble things" just because of what I said. Quite the opposite, I believe following what you truly want to do is the move (which is how I went into programming around a decade ago, back when both I and my parents had zero idea that it actually paid well and had good employment prospects). Can I claim that I enjoy my work all the time? No, but outside of a few short bad stretches due to a specific work environment I got myself into (and which wasn't representative of programming as a field in general), it has been generally ranging between "fine" and "interesting". If you expect any profession to be all entirely creative fun and joy, with no occasional "meh" component of work whatsoever, you are deluding yourself.
The grass is often greener on the other side of the fence. But it tends to become blinding neon green level of brightness when one doesn't have much (even second-hand) exposure to the realities of that other side.
Short interesting story: My mom is an Architect, one day when I was about 8 or 9 she said: don't be an Architect, you won't get paid fairly (developing country). It got burned out in my mind, like a command. And slowly moved to "Don't do art stuff". I stopped drawing and started using computers more and more. Only in my adulthood I started to explore Architecture, and ooohhh boy, I freaking love it. And I would have…
The major downside is the Aladdin problem. Vast cosmic power. Itty bitty living space (& mortal lifespan to spend). These capabilities we have could be better spent, do end up entangled in so many frustrating stifling enterprises. But they're still amazing abilities. I'd wish such great adventures for anyone.
>I have to study politics and war so that my sons can study mathematics, commerce and agriculture, so their sons can study poetry, painting and music. - John Adams I do soulless and artless crap like programming so my kids maybe don't have to. I'm doing it to acquire "fuck you money" so my kids can come out of the womb saying "fuck you" and then they can go pursue more virtuous, noble, artful things.
This reads like it was written by someone who doesn't have the slightest idea about the reality of working in other "more virtuous, noble, artful things". I have plenty friends who do art or art-adjacent things (such as design) as a full-time job, and some of them are actually doing quite ok financially (even among non-design people). Let me tell you, working a full-time employment in those fields tends to be a soul-…
The comment you're replying mentioned "fuck you money" for their offspring. That means said offspring will not need to work to make a living.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
This one confused me. Software has some of the tightest feedback cycles in day to day work of any profession I can really think of.
Absolutely. I think this is why many people basically become addicted to it. You don’t need much discipline in many cases to get things done, you can just ride the dopamine (etc) hits.
My 0,02€: Having become a dad late in life, I have plenty of perspective. When discussing our 3yo with my wife, I note that I've identified a couple of deficiencies in my own upbringing & school-age experiences that I don't want my kid to have to repeat. Just trying to leverage the benefit of experience.
Essentially where I'm at as well. Didn't have kids young, and man they're tiring, but in exchange for energy I can see what I want my kid doing and NOT doing. And really, it's mostly the NOT-doing stuff I'm worried about. The kid will be into what they are -- it would be nice if they're into the same stuff as me, but it's fine if they aren't. But there are a bunch of situations I wish I didn't have to go through that…
I want my children to be happy and fulfilled. Whether or not they're "like me" in doing so is of no importance. But I do want them to learn from my mistakes (as well as the mistakes of everyone else they are exposed to). One of the things I've tried to instill in them is "Make your own mistakes, not someone else's".
Having a child now makes wanting him to be "like me" seem like such a fools errand at this point. He's so obviously his own person that even if he decided to do things in a similar way to me his path to getting there would be so different that it wouldn't actually be the same at all.