Tell HN: Sometimes you don't realise how bad something is until you leave

Just to put some details around this. You hire a lawyer, which will cost $2K-$3K. The lawyer helps you document everything. Then when you're ready to leave, the lawyer sends a demand letter to the company - demanding severance pay. The severance is something like 3-6 months of pay to bridge you to find another job. If you're making $100K and get 3 months severance, that's $25K - well worth it financially and for your mental health to find a new job.

EDIT: 1) Don't even need to go to court. 2) It's a nice F-off to the boss because their boss and above will now know what's happening.

Thank you for sharing. This is something I need to remind myself from time to time. I'm not sure if this helps, but I suggest getting into a sport if you can.

A while ago my self-confidence was really low. I tried jiu jitsu, and I had a lot of fun. I was also impressed with the positivity and camaraderie. I started going regularly, and even though I started off much worse at it than everyone else, I was constantly improving a little bit at a time and getting reassurance that the struggle to go from beginner to intermediate and beyond is something everyone experiences.

The act of exercising regularly, combined with improving at something I enjoy and making new friends along the way, was a huge boost to my confidence. Playing a sport has improved my mental health immensely. It is also something in my life I can lean on when my career is rocky or challenging.

I know it can be a lot of commitment for someone with a family, or daunting for someone who is a bit older. With that recognized, I still suggest you try a sport. I have been doing jiu jitsu for five years, and I have also started wrestling and judo. I've trained with people of all ages, from Division 1 college wrestlers, to active hobbyists like me, to parents and grandparents who just want to try something new.

It sounds intense, but it can be adjusted to any age, body type, etc. I've even had the pleasure to practice with a retired, blind champion grappler. She knocked me over again and again, just by feeling. All this to say, if you accept your limitations, there is a way for you to participate safely and have fun.

Regardless if my advice helps, I wish you a lot of luck, and thank you again for sharing.

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The big life lesson I got is: there's no correlation between Fortune 500 companies and good management practice.

As a software engineer, I was never happier than the job I took with a smaller local firm after quitting a 500. The firm paid competitively (no longer getting those sweet Fortune 500 stock options, but who cares the stock market's a crap-shoot anyway and the stock I got from the old company is already past its peak value right now as it is) and my manager was the best I've ever had.

Being in a bad management chain at a major corp can make you miserable. I've found it to be worth it to switch to a smaller corp with a better management chain.

(All of that having been said: smaller companies can be more vulnerable to market disruption so of course sometimes one trades out the stress of bad management with the stress of maybe not having a job in six months. But as Google just demonstrated, working at the big firms isn't really a guarantee there either).

Good luck to you!