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Tell HN: Everyone should have a holiday dinner this year

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Re: Tell HN: Everyone should have a holiday dinner this year

#41

Post by seti0Cha »

revscat wrote: post #31

I just wish I had someone to talk to. This year, like last year, and the year before, and the year before… I spend it alone, hating myself for being the unlovable mass of fat and depression that I am. It’s just be nice if one night a year I could pretend not to be me, to pretend that there are people who have warm feelings towards me, who will not lock me up in a mental institution and then block me on everything fro…

If you want to be around people, you might try going to midnight mass at your local Catholic church. You don't have to participate or talk to anyone and you might enjoy the music. If you are not a church person, then doing something you never do may also give you the sense of not being yourself for a time.

Re: Tell HN: Everyone should have a holiday dinner this year

#42

Post by polio »

revscat wrote: post #31

I just wish I had someone to talk to. This year, like last year, and the year before, and the year before… I spend it alone, hating myself for being the unlovable mass of fat and depression that I am. It’s just be nice if one night a year I could pretend not to be me, to pretend that there are people who have warm feelings towards me, who will not lock me up in a mental institution and then block me on everything fro…

I've read your comment and am thinking of you. I don't know how much that helps, but maybe it makes you feel less alone.

One thing to note is that you aren't unlovable, even if there's an absence of love directed at you. So much of life is based on the circumstances we're in. Contemporary life gives people few opportunities to be truly known, and so I think it's hard to conclude that anybody has seen and rejected your true self, for better or worse. You sound like a rather tenacious person, and I am hoping it pays off for you in the year to come.

Re: Tell HN: Everyone should have a holiday dinner this year

#43

Post by fwipsy »

gizajob wrote: post #28
bezalmighty wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm from Melbourne - Forget hotels, you can stay in a great hostel for USD$39 (AU$59) a night here, which is very affordable, and an amazing way to meet people. Don't be afraid of dorms, I've literally had the best times of my life backpacking the world and staying in dorms. Here's a hostel in St Kilda I'd recommend that's $39USD/$59AUD a night for a 10 bed dorm (which isn't too big, avoid huge dorms >18 people) http…

I really really hate hostels to be honest. I actually lived in Melbs for a couple of years in the past and have an Aussie ex wife too. I used to live in Middle Park (of all places) and so going and staying in a dorm in St Kilda just isn't my idea of a fun time right now. Can appreciate I'm in a bit of a strange place but I'm in some kind of middle ground between tourist and resident, and the days of entertaining idea…

That's fair. Sounds like your friend really hung you out to dry. Sorry to read about your experience these holidays, and hope you find a way to turn it around. Merry Christmas!

Re: Tell HN: Everyone should have a holiday dinner this year

#44

Post by StanislavPetrov »

revscat wrote: post #31

I just wish I had someone to talk to. This year, like last year, and the year before, and the year before… I spend it alone, hating myself for being the unlovable mass of fat and depression that I am. It’s just be nice if one night a year I could pretend not to be me, to pretend that there are people who have warm feelings towards me, who will not lock me up in a mental institution and then block me on everything fro…

I know this is an unpopular opinion, but this is a niche that "sex workers" fill very well. As someone who has had many friends who were "sex workers" for decades (strippers mostly), I can tell you that a very large portion (approaching 50%) of the people who paid them for their time didn't want a lap dance, or to have sex with them. They just wanted to be held, or wanted to talk, or wanted some sort of intimacy that was otherwise lacking in their lives. Obviously this is not a replacement for a "real" intimate relationship, but it seems to be very desirable compared to the alternative, which is complete solitude and loneliness. In our atomized society, you shouldn't feel any sort of stigma about paying for temporary companionship that fulfills your basic human needs, even if conventional wisdom says that you should.

Re: Tell HN: Everyone should have a holiday dinner this year

#46

Post by redanddead »

unixhero wrote: post #24
gizajob wrote: post #10

Currently in Melbourne Australia having been dropped right in it by a friend who said I could rent their place while they're on holiday and then they changed their mind last minute yesterday, leaving me suddenly homeless on Christmas Eve. Currently in a park on Christmas day a three hour train ride away, because I had nothing else to do and rides are free today. Thanks for your post, it really cheered me up on a Chri…

I have been homeless in Melbourne too. Rent market there is a bitch to get into. I had usd30k in my Account, but no home as no one wanted to rent out to a single young male. University was no help either. Got Lucky and met some hosts at a party.

I'm curious about the party story

Re: Tell HN: Everyone should have a holiday dinner this year

#47

Post by extasia »

revscat wrote: post #31

I just wish I had someone to talk to. This year, like last year, and the year before, and the year before… I spend it alone, hating myself for being the unlovable mass of fat and depression that I am. It’s just be nice if one night a year I could pretend not to be me, to pretend that there are people who have warm feelings towards me, who will not lock me up in a mental institution and then block me on everything fro…

Sorry that you're feeling down buddy.

Hoping you have a better 2023 and are able to look back on this comment this time next year and appreciate all the progress you've made.

Were all counting on you.

Re: Tell HN: Everyone should have a holiday dinner this year

#48

Post by unixhero »

redanddead wrote: post #46
unixhero wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have been homeless in Melbourne too. Rent market there is a bitch to get into. I had usd30k in my Account, but no home as no one wanted to rent out to a single young male. University was no help either. Got Lucky and met some hosts at a party.

I'm curious about the party story

Went to a houseparty with classmates from my MBA. Somebody kthere was going home and leaving Australia after graduation. So his room was available. Little sis I know that the appartment housed two gorgeous Colombian girls whom I had an absolute ball with the coming year.

The situation went from shitty to really good.

I don't think I could replicate that again.

Re: Tell HN: Everyone should have a holiday dinner this year

#49

Post by exolymph »

StanislavPetrov wrote: post #44
revscat wrote: post #31

I just wish I had someone to talk to. This year, like last year, and the year before, and the year before… I spend it alone, hating myself for being the unlovable mass of fat and depression that I am. It’s just be nice if one night a year I could pretend not to be me, to pretend that there are people who have warm feelings towards me, who will not lock me up in a mental institution and then block me on everything fro…

I know this is an unpopular opinion, but this is a niche that "sex workers" fill very well. As someone who has had many friends who were "sex workers" for decades (strippers mostly), I can tell you that a very large portion (approaching 50%) of the people who paid them for their time didn't want a lap dance, or to have sex with them. They just wanted to be held, or wanted to talk, or wanted some sort of intimacy that…

I escorted for a while in my late teens, about ten years ago now. It's complicated. Lonely, emotionally vulnerable men are not necessarily able to keep the relationship in context. I personally wouldn't recommend patronizing sex workers as a remedy. Too likely to fall in love and get bilked for it.
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