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Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

washingtonpost.com

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Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#41

Post by Zababa »

naikrovek wrote: post #5

the article doesn't seem attribute the desire to be alone to anything, other than saying that it got a lot more common during the pandemic, but I can say why I prefer to be alone: no judgement, no one makes fun of me, no one takes advantage of me, and no one steals from me. the one and only bad thing for me is that being lonely sucks. I am not lonely, but I probably will be in a decade's time. being alone adds up ove…

I wouldn't go as far as to say that all people are a toxin, but a lot are, that's for sure.

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#42

Post by Archipelagia »

I the last few years I had to move contries a few times and basically rebuild my entire social circle each time – and it made me aware how much of finding friends is just a matter of logistics. I think that much of the loneliness problem comes down to people just not having a process that helps them meet new friends.

In most places, there's a surprising amount of events where you can meet new people. For me it was open boardgame nights – the difficult part was actually beating the inertia and going there, but once I did, I think I made about an average of one new friend per two outings, as long as I remembered to message them afterwards.

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#43

Post by germinalphrase »

naikrovek wrote: post #13
mym1990 wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why do you anticipate you will be lonely in a decade's time(but not currently)? And do you think you are a toxin based on your observation of the general species?

unfortunately, humans are a social species and the toll of being alone adds up over time. I try to avoid people so that I don't darken their day and they don't darken mine. I consider staying away from others a very small gift to them. people are mean, selfish assholes and are by default competitive and adversarial, by nature. we are a doomed species, and are unworthy of existence, in my opinion.

When I was walking under a cloud, it really helped year-to-year to pay someone to listen and talk through my thoughts and feelings.

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#44

Post by preommr »

nibbleshifter wrote: post #28
nullish_signal wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

"The bad economy means you can't meet people in real life. But soon, everyone will buy VR goggles and hang out on rented servers!" Am I mis-understanding something here? Just go on a hike, walking is free.

> Just go on a hike, walking is free. If the webshits on here could work out a way to monetize hiking, they will.

https://blog.onepeloton.com/hike-workouts/

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#47

Post by mensetmanusman »

naikrovek wrote: post #13
mym1990 wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Why do you anticipate you will be lonely in a decade's time(but not currently)? And do you think you are a toxin based on your observation of the general species?

unfortunately, humans are a social species and the toll of being alone adds up over time. I try to avoid people so that I don't darken their day and they don't darken mine. I consider staying away from others a very small gift to them. people are mean, selfish assholes and are by default competitive and adversarial, by nature. we are a doomed species, and are unworthy of existence, in my opinion.

When in doubt, read some Tolstoy:

https://en.m.wikisource.org/wiki/Twenty-three_Tales/Two_Old_...

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#48

Post by everyone »

altacc wrote: post #19

There's been a lot of talk recently about effects of loneliness and the "loneliness epidemic". What a lot of this lacks, including this article, is a good and correct definition of loneliness. They seem to use the lazy & inaccurate definition of "spending significant time alone", which is very different to being lonely. There's a lot of people who are now able to spend more time alone than before and are happy with t…

Yes, blessed solitude; medieval writers were often longing for it. Personally I am a totally misanthropic reclusive hermit and I'm lovin' it!

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#49

Post by haunter »

Not just the US but Europe too.

I’m not religious but more and more I think that church (as an institution) had an actual positive effect on local communities. At least as a "force" to keep people together, have a community space etc. A space where you can meet and talk with others. My parents are Anglicans and I always liked the little tea and biscuits after each service. These things matter.

Re: Americans are choosing to be alone, but we should reverse that

#50

Post by happytoexplain »

Mountain_Skies wrote: post #2

Robert Putnam already explained why this is happening but since it's not an acceptable answer, we march on and pretend to be mystified.

>it's not an acceptable answer, we march on and pretend to be mystified.

On many social topics, your opinion, expressed with this attitude, is almost always not true to the implied extent. Usually it's an exaggeration born of bitterness/frustration. In this case, the significant issue is not that people "pretend" anything or are just idiots who won't accept The Truth. It's that they either disagree with a hypothesized reason for the problem, or, frequently, agree with the hypothesis but disagree with the implied or stated solution, which is much more reasonable than the person in the picture you're painting.

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