totally get it.
i havent released much. and the quality is questionable. but i totally get it.
me and my SO discussed this briefly, her suggestion is to only do things for yourself.
my thoughts to that: yeah, sure. but working a dayjob _and_ working the dream, who is going to cheer me on? im bad at multitasking, so after a day or two of spinning my wheels i will most likely loose all drive, because i can see that i wont make it in the near future to the finish line. Also, nobody except me cares, but do i really care? there are projects i do care about a lot, but because i care so much i havent really put any deliberate concrete planing into it as to keep anything possible. this way i pick up small projects left and right, turn them over a couple of times in my mind and then drop them. big ones i just dream about ad infinitum... i hate it but i havent found the jenesaiqua to motivate myself to do anything really. much less so if i only do it for myself.
being cheered on by family always feels like "oh wow, that is a nice cat you drew" "its a horse" "oh yeah now i see it...(they never did)": empty encouraging words. blind eyes appreciating art. deaf ears praising the timbre of an instrument. v_v
at least when i cook a meal i can eat it and experience whether or not it tastes good. but with software? what am i supposed to make that will make my life a bit better: an automatic doomscroller? scoffs
I wish you well, lurkars, may your projects gain the recognition they deserve