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I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

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Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#41

Post by laurieg »

irjustin wrote: post #8

Wow Will was such a part of my childhood watching Star Trek. Obviously, he didn't appear often but he was memorable simply because there were so few people as young as him on the show. Sad to hear this all around. This also brought back memories of me being required to play piano growing up. I hated piano, performing (recitals), playing in general. I was terrrribbleee (still am) and was put up in lessons for 12 years…

I think a lot about how much pushing is the right amount.

When I was very young I had piano lessons. My memories are only dim, but I think I enjoyed them. I also gave them up quite quickly. I distinctly remember trying to play a little tune and messing it up again and again. I didn't have the skills to deal with my frustration and anger. I didn't have the perseverance. Perhaps if someone had helped me through this I could have persisted, or perhaps it was just too early for me and I needed some more life experience before I could handle it.

When it comes down to it I think kids need lots of opportunities to try many things, as well as the experience of "going deep" on one thing. It doesn't really matter if it's dance, music, art, programming, languages or whatever. There's always the meta-game of skill acquisition going on. Learning that time, effort, consistent practice, thoughtful reflection are useful is the real goal.

It's also worth remembering that children are unique people with unique personalities. They will all have different challenges and respond to the world around them in different ways.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#42

Post by Freak_NL »

pvorb wrote: post #25
TedDoesntTalk wrote: post #6

Now think how many children suffered the same fate, but we’ll never hear about it because they did not become famous. Reminds me of “dance moms” or “cheer moms”, “football dads”, etc. If you’re a parent, remember not to live your unfulfilled dreams through your children.

You mean like trying to get your kid into programming, which is a bit more common around here?

There is quite a gap between stimulating children to see if that is something they could enjoy and excel in, and going all overboard and making it the centre of their young lives.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#43

Post by shkkmo »

jazzythom wrote: post #21
carrolldunham wrote: post #5

It feels obvious now that kids should not be on tv at all, by the same logic that they can't consent to sex. They can't consent to the huge ramifications of public exposure.

They can’t consent to anything by your logic we should cut a hole in a cardboard box and put them in it until they’re 18. You have to be practical, that opportunity could generate millions for his future and build a career. I mean you can’t punish them for being unable to see the future. Judge them from the information available at the junction.

> You have to be practical, that opportunity could generate millions for his future and build a career.

Or they can be scared for life and have never get any of that money, as in this instance.

We don't force or even allow children to work in any other industry. It is ridiculous and offensive to say that calling for the end of the exception for child actors is somehow equivalent to saying "we should cut a hole in a cardboard box and put them in it until they’re 18"

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#44

Post by khazhoux »

manmal wrote: post #11
irjustin wrote: post #8

Wow Will was such a part of my childhood watching Star Trek. Obviously, he didn't appear often but he was memorable simply because there were so few people as young as him on the show. Sad to hear this all around. This also brought back memories of me being required to play piano growing up. I hated piano, performing (recitals), playing in general. I was terrrribbleee (still am) and was put up in lessons for 12 years…

Clarification: I‘m talking about self-actualization & leisure time here, not chores. > What is a healthy amount of pushing vs too much? There is no healthy amount of pushing, period. If you stop applying pressure, children will find their own thing, and that’s the best outcome for them. Just make sure they know the possibilities of what they could do. What would you have liked to do instead of learning piano? Did you…

> There is no healthy amount of pushing, period.

Surprised to read this. There have been many well-documented cases of children not wanting to learn math, science, history, etc, or go outside for exercise, where the parents denied their children’s agency and forced them to do so. Long-term studies indicate a tendency towards positive outcomes.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#47

Post by adlpz »

pvorb wrote: post #25
TedDoesntTalk wrote: post #6

Now think how many children suffered the same fate, but we’ll never hear about it because they did not become famous. Reminds me of “dance moms” or “cheer moms”, “football dads”, etc. If you’re a parent, remember not to live your unfulfilled dreams through your children.

You mean like trying to get your kid into programming, which is a bit more common around here?

TBH in that case, in HN, it's clearly not the unfulfilled dream bit. More like people see that programming is a dream job for them and want their kids to have the same opportunity.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#48

Post by shkkmo »

nlnn wrote: post #26
irjustin wrote: post #8

Wow Will was such a part of my childhood watching Star Trek. Obviously, he didn't appear often but he was memorable simply because there were so few people as young as him on the show. Sad to hear this all around. This also brought back memories of me being required to play piano growing up. I hated piano, performing (recitals), playing in general. I was terrrribbleee (still am) and was put up in lessons for 12 years…

It's a tough one. If you discover a passion for something as an adult, you'll often wish your parents had pushed you into it as a kid. I feel this way about music, zero education as a kid, started late as an adult, but feel I'll never catch up. Though there's no way of knowing whether I'd have felt the same as a kid, or pushed back against it at the time.

There is a difference between pushing you kids to try things to see what they like, and pushing you kids to keep doing something when they've tried it and told you they want to stop.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#49

Post by darylteo »

irjustin wrote: post #35
benkwokcy wrote: post #31

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You don't have to catch up. It doesn't matter how good you are, only if you are enjoying it.

At the same time, I understand it. There are some things simply out of reach, music you literally cannot play because those wires weren't built when you were younger.

Exactly... at the elite level activities nowadays are simply out of reach to individuals who were not wholly absorbed in it from a young age.

Federer - 8. Nadal/Djokovic - 4. S. Williams - 3. L. Hamilton - 8. M. Schumacher - 6. Verstappen - 4. Phelps - 7. Messi - 4. C. Ronaldo - 7. M. Carlsen - 5. Lebron - 9. S. Curry - 6

Some people are just lucky to be good at the things they love doing. The others have to be content with getting paid for the things that they're good at to pay for the things that they love doing.

Re: I was forced to be a child star. It was never my dream or my idea

#50

Post by powerapple »

irjustin wrote: post #8

Wow Will was such a part of my childhood watching Star Trek. Obviously, he didn't appear often but he was memorable simply because there were so few people as young as him on the show. Sad to hear this all around. This also brought back memories of me being required to play piano growing up. I hated piano, performing (recitals), playing in general. I was terrrribbleee (still am) and was put up in lessons for 12 years…

a kid only wants to play video game all life, and what does he know what he wants anyway. I believe kids can learn anything, can go any direction without problem. The only issue is the teacher. A good teacher will make a kid enjoy something, a bad teacher will make a kid hate something. That's the only difference. A lot people are interested in the outcome, and does not spend too much time thinking about the process, that's the problem.
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