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I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.

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Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.

#41

Post by madhouse »

The only stupid thing you did is feeling down about a single wrong decision made very early in your life. Don't worry, you'll make much more of those in the next 60 years, and this one will pale in comparsion. And anyway, the latest one will always seem to be the worst.

Don't worry about it, at least, not too much. By worrying too hard, and blaming yourself, you only make it worse. Suck it up, and accept that you're just like any other human: we make mistakes. We then go and fix them.

So do that. You're only 20, there's a tremendous amount of time still ahead, and opportunities you don't even recognise just yet.

Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.

#42

Post by kitsune_ »

I think I know what you're going through because my early 20's were a mess. People telling you that you're still young might sound shallow, but damn it, it's true.

The path to adulthood is different and difficult for everyone. As a human being you make decisions throughout your life, and in hindsight, some of these decisions turn out to be mistakes. You need to make these mistakes in order to find what is right for you. Find what is important to you.

The worst thing that could happen to you is that this experience somehow makes you do something against your own nature, for instance laboring away in a cubicle for the next 40 years because you are too afraid to fail again.

You are twenty years of age, you will work a many jobs in your life, you will fall in and out of love, you might get your college degree with 50, maybe you will travel Europe and open a bed & breakfast across the ocean. Who knows but you?

Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.

#43

Post by krmmalik »

You're experiencing what Seth Godin calls "The Dip" - There has to be some hardship endured before you come out looking good on the other side. You really are being way too hard on yourself. If you were mature enough to take a risk at the age of 20 then it shows you're well on your way to hedge other bets in life for the long term. That's a very good mark of a successful person. Only thing is, you're giving up a little soon. Dont let things wear you down.

Success takes time.

Wish you well ;-)

PS. Just for the purposes of consolation. I went through something similar at your age. Im now 30 and while i dont feel as suffocated as i used to, i know exactly how you feel. It does get better. I assure you. I dont regret (for the large part) the decision that i made. I just wish i had had the courage to be even bolder with my choices, and sooner.

Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.

#44

Post by iforget »

adk wrote: post #25

Btw, some smart person once said "suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" Cross that option off hour list and get some help. Suicide hotline, nearby mental health professionals are both good options.

Contribute something he hasn't heard a thousand times from after school specials. Seriously. Harsh but necessary. -1 for anonymous quote.

Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.

#45

Post by syrio »

Dude, you don't understand how young you are. At your age I was cleaning kitchen sinks in the amry. I for one would incline into hiring you for having this experience under your belt than the so-called rockstar employee in your previous company.

It's ok to be foolish.

Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.

#46

Post by john2x »

I'm thinking of doing the same thing a few months from now, but not to start freelancing but to look for a better job.

I also have some "plan" on what I'd do afterwards, but in the end they are just plans. So I'm a bit worried, especially after reading your post. I'll definitely need to think about this more.

I hope what comes to me won't be as bad as yours. And best of luck in recovering.

Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.

#47

Post by oomkiller »

iforget wrote: post #40
oomkiller wrote: post #16

You're 20? You have your whole life ahead of you, get back on the grind and make it happen! It may feel hopeless now, but I assure you it's not. I'd bet you have skills that other people would love to have, you just need to figure out how to better apply them. Don't give up, hard work pays off, I was in your exact situation or worse when I was your age :) (I'm 23 now and have turned it around) Oh, and parents say thi…

Contribute something he hasn't heard a thousand times from after school specials. Seriously. Harsh but necessary.

Sometimes it takes an actual person who has actually experienced this to tell you for it to actually click, I'm sorry if that doesn't make sense to you.

Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.

#48

Post by amanicdroid »

It's not all so perfectly binary this freedom that you mentioned. One can have a high-pressure job or one can live in a tent on the outskirts of society and feel free. Likewise one can feel stifling panic in the previously mentioned situations.

The secret is to find that environment in which you feel at your optimum or to create it depending on the current social climate.

Another secret is to consider your expectations. Are you hoping to make a lot of money doing nothing and that your friends will highly esteem you? If that's the case then you'll need a trustfund from rich elders.

Try to guess what your optimum work/resources/time balance is and aim for that doing what you are good at. If what you're good at isn't what you enjoy use your resources to retrain.

And try to find new friends. The current ones sound like useless jackasses.

Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.

#49

Post by hopeless »

blitzky wrote: post #6
hopeless wrote: post #3

It's really great to hear someone follow up on a previous post For what it's worth, I still think you did the right thing. That job obviously wasn't going anywhere and sounded pretty miserable. Perhaps your mistake wasn't the quitting but the freelancing over taking another job, and the option is still open to you. So the freelancing thing hasn't worked out for you. Perhaps taking a full-time job, even for a short pe…

Obviously he did NOT do the right thing. There is nothing wrong with admitting a mistake. But it was not an entire loss - he was able to grow with the experience and realize that the lifestyle being sold isn't for everybody. Right, it is NOT for everybody. My advice is that he follows through his new found learning and tries to go back to a job. He is a more mature person now, and will be able to find one eventually.

If you actually read my comment, you'll see I also encouraged him to go back to a full-time job.

Re: I quit my job last March and it was a bad idea.

#50

Post by Tichy »

Please don't commit suicide. At age 20, your options are still basically infinite.

Maybe having people yelling at you on a regular basis is not the best thing for your (mental) health.

Have you considered moving to a different city, as far away as possible from your depressing past (your post about your job also doesn't sound that much fun)?

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