This is basic consensus protocols, so it requires one person to "write" while the other does not. Each variation requires each person to randomly select if they will be the writer and then confirm that with the other person. Here are my solutions without reading theirs first (Edit: I finished reading and it looks like we pretty much agree):
Main puzzle: "On each following turn, we will flip a coin and randomly choose to send a message either with a color or 'null'. If either person receives a color message when they did not send one themselves, then we both announce that color on the next turn. Confirm you agree with the strategy on your next turn, as well as sending a color or null".
Alternation variation: This one is actually easier, if I know I'm player one. I simply send a message that says "I am player one, announce the color red on turn three, and confirm you will comply on round 2". Then when they confirm, send a third message that says "announce the color red".
Collision variation: Send the same message as in the main puzzle, but flip a coin first to determine if you send a message at all.
Pigeon variation: There isn't enough information. Will I know when it is my turn again, or is that part of the lost information? Either way, I will start each message with "This is my message for turn 1, please number your reply as 'message 2'" and then use the same message as the alternation variation, repeating my message until I get their message 2 reply, and then I will send message three saying "announce the color red" and will do the same. Presumably there would be an arbiter to collect our round three announcements.