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Ask HN: Please Give Me Advice

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41–50 of 121 posts

Re: Ask HN: Please Give Me Advice

#41
Been there, it gets better.

If you want somebody to talk to drop me an email at pavlo@malynin.com about anything thats on your mind.

If you want to talk to somebody at this current moment you can also text HOME to 741741 to speak with a counselor.

Re: Ask HN: Please Give Me Advice

#42
post #29

I’ve been there. I’ve suffered from depression for 20 years now… but my darkest, lowest points were 06-09. I had pathologically negative thoughts just like you’re experiencing. It’s incredible suffering, I know! No one really understands unless they’ve been there themselves. You can recover. The darkness will eventually relent. You can be productive and successful one day. It’s not over. There are no easy solutions o…

At this point i feel like it's bottomless There is no light at the end of the tunnel, it's only getting darker and darker day by day

Yes that is because the behavior is pathological and repetitive. I realized this at some point, it’s kind of like a self imposed delusion. Every day you tell yourself in your head that you suck, you’re worthless etc.

Yet there’s really no justification for it, things aren’t actually getting worse. In fact, my most depressed years were a kind of stasis where nothing external was really changing. The lack of change is what eventually caused what can only be described as mental paralysis to take hold. There is no light in the tunnel because your brain is expecting a continuation of the status quo.

Re: Ask HN: Please Give Me Advice

#43
There are lots of suggestions in here, things like "meet people", "get off the internet", etc.

I have one and only piece of advice: seek treatment for your depression.

You likely won't be able to implement any of these other suggestions until you do that one.

Depression is no joke and can very easily ruin your life if you don't treat it. None of the other suggestions I saw in the thread seem to understand this. (The hyperbole and a half webcomic series on depression does, however.)

My contact info's in my profile, and I have some suggestions to that end I don't wish to write here.

Call or email me. Don't wait.

Re: Ask HN: Please Give Me Advice

#44

Been there, it gets better. If you want somebody to talk to drop me an email at pavlo@malynin.com about anything thats on your mind. If you want to talk to somebody at this current moment you can also text HOME to 741741 to speak with a counselor.

What made it better for you?

Re: Ask HN: Please Give Me Advice

#45
post #2

Few people have anything resembling a plan. Just don't ask randos on the internet. You'll hear this often, because there's truth to it: Seek therapy. It's not a sign of weakness. And if the therapist doesn't "click" with you, see a different one.

I have called everyone in my area, many times, nobody could give me an appointment Already on drugs, but taking them makes me feel more shit, because then i have a thought that i'm a broken person and can't live a normal live without depending on meds

Give https://www.lyrahealth.com/ a try -- when I needed a therapist, they had availability.

Re: Ask HN: Please Give Me Advice

#46
post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

OK number one thing to understand first and foremost: you are not a ‘broken person’ if you take medication. It’s a tired trope, but only because there’s some truth to it: a person with kidney, heart, or other organ issues isn’t a broken person because they take medication for their condition, right? Same applies to any of your conditions.

Instead of going through this and fixing my life, i'm outsourcing it on pills

It's common for introspective insight to be achieved only through chemical means. This is why psilocybin is finally being researched as a potential natural approach to certain disorders.

Re: Ask HN: Please Give Me Advice

#48
Perspective helps. If you are not wanting for money and have time, and assuming you’re in the Northern hemisphere, pack some chicken/turkey/beef/falafel sandwiches, socks, hoodies, and toiletries. Pack a similar meal for yourself. Get some hot coffee. Leave home hungry.

Find a homeless person. Tell them if they’re interested you want to share a lunch with them while they tell you their story. Doesn’t have to be the story of how they became homeless, just any story they want to share with another human being.

Many homeless are invisible and feel like less than human because they can go months before exchanging an authentic conversation with another person. For a social species like ours, that’s a torturous existence.

You might not feel less like a useless parasite, but for that moment, for that individual, you objectively made a difference.

Re: Ask HN: Please Give Me Advice

#49
First: appreciate where you are and what you already have. There are people out there who are struggling to get a single meal during the day .

Second: check your diet, sleep and health. A good mind needs all of those in proper order. See an expert if any of those is not in place.

Third: Do you work part-time/full-time? If yes you are already contributing something to the world. If not, are you a student? You will have to chart out a path depending on your current status.

Re: Ask HN: Please Give Me Advice

#50
post #27

A few people I've spoken with who "broke out" of this mentality credit Jordan Peterson's 12 rules for life https://www.amazon.com/12-Rules-Life-Antidote-Chaos/dp/03458... Here's a quick video (12 min video): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApC0faRYabI I suspect his lectures, books, etc are likely more in depth. I personally haven't read it much, but am aware of the rules. At the end of the day, you have to just get m…

JP is great for people that have some basis of peace and joy in their lives. It will do nothing for people that don't have that baseline.

people with no baseline really have to start by building hobbies. I do believe Peterson discusses that, I’ve seen something attributed to him along the lines: “every day try to pick up the heaviest thing you can”

That said, I’m not super familiar. I think generally habit building is what I’ve seen work and be recommended.

Also join a community and say you need help. That’s effectively what churches are well positioned to assist with.

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